Up next in 10
Are you tired of collecting business cards that go nowhere and conversations that never lead anywhere meaningful? Real networking isn't about working the room — it's about building genuine connections that fuel your business and your life.
In this episode of Caren Glasser Live, Caren breaks down what it really takes to network effectively as a solopreneur, business owner, or content creator. You'll learn how to move past surface-level small talk, create memorable impressions, and turn casual introductions into lasting professional relationships.
What you'll discover:
✅ Why traditional networking tactics fail — and what to do instead
✅ How to start conversations that actually lead somewhere
✅ The mindset shift that turns networking from awkward to natural
✅ Practical strategies for following up and staying top of mind
✅ How to build a powerful network without feeling salesy or inauthentic
Whether you're at a live event, on social media, or in an online community, these strategies will help you show up with confidence and connect with the right people.
Stop collecting contacts. Start building relationships.
🔔 Subscribe to Caren Glasser https://videos.carenglasser.com
📍 Connect with Caren: https://carenglasser.com
📍 Find James here: https://www.hicksnewmedia.com
📍 Find Casey here: http://www.PowerNetworkingTips.com & http://www.CaseyOnVideo.com
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0:00
digital collective
0:09
ladies and gentlemen welcome back to the digital collective uh today we are going to explore
0:22
what karen has called an asset class i like that she uses the big fancy words i'm just here
0:28
sitting in the back with the common folks, but the power of networking, right? Not talking about
0:35
just small talk, not talking about just going around to conferences or to sessions and collecting
0:40
business cards. It's better than that now. We're better. We've grown from that. We're talking about
0:45
the science of turning relationships into real compounded opportunity. My goodness. Karen talk to us those are big words and you know that's not me so why why why am I reading big
0:59
words when I'm reading big words okay I'm Karen this is my buddy Dr. James Hicks we call him the
1:07
doctor and we're unpacking today all about networking all about networking we have a great
1:12
guest he was with us a couple of weeks ago and we're going to be bringing him back in because
1:17
we're going to be talking and the reason why I bring him back in he is all about networking this
1:21
is how I met Casey years and years and years and years and years ago, he was a speaker on the stage
1:26
and he would get on that stage and he would talk about networking and he would get everybody just
1:31
dialed in. And when he comes in, I'm going to ask him about this. He used to call people the
1:35
yappers. So without further ado, let's bring in Casey Eberhardt. That's a heck of a lead in for
1:45
you right i mean can you can you match that energy no right yappers tell us what a yapper is casey
1:53
because that i literally is stuck in my head since we first met yeah well i mean i was listening to
2:00
sort of the intro and i think it's worthwhile to take just a second to give some context of why
2:05
yappers is even a thing um it is no longer of these my ring light is going to drive me crazy
2:13
I love it too. And I see it in your eyes too. You're like, you're like going through fits and all kinds of spurts because you got that
2:19
ring light, but I love it. Well, it's, it's funny. Cause I'm a, I'm, I'm in my previous career
2:25
I was a film producer by trade and it used to drive me crazy when you could
2:29
see lights in people's glasses. So the two ways in Hollywood, just, just, this is Hollywood one-on-one kids
2:35
Don't do what Casey's doing. We would either take the lenses out of the glasses and the
2:40
the actor would just be wearing frames or what you do is you discreetly lift the frames up so
2:47
they are actually like above your ear and they tilt the left down but you don't really see the
2:53
magic of holy man tricky right you learn to hear first yeah so here's what's going to happen they're
2:59
just going to come off right and then you guys are going to be blurry blobs and i can barely tell
3:03
you apart but it makes going to be makes for a much more fun interview so um here's the thing
3:09
at the end of the day your network is an asset class and if we start treating things like an
3:15
asset class what we're really trying to do is we're trying to increase the yield or the return
3:20
on whether it's energy or investment right and investment can be time energy money resources
3:26
whatever so when i started talking about yappers back in the day what it really was just a way to
3:34
kind of start filtering out people, if you will, on who may or may not be worth moving
3:42
in closer to building a connection with, or at least opening that conversation
3:46
And so when I started using the term Yapper, it was really came out of like, I needed to
3:52
find a way for somebody to go into a live room, a chamber of commerce or a conference
3:58
and distinguish very quickly who to talk to. Right. And this is really how it all came about
4:02
It was sort of like, okay, well, who are the people that you want to talk to in every room
4:06
Number one are the speakers. Why? They're the ones with the damn microphone
4:11
Usually they're yap jobs and loud mouths and they've got a database and they have the ability to get stuff done
4:16
Otherwise, they wouldn't be on stage. The second group of people are the organizers of the event
4:22
They know everybody in the room. Usually they know who's an asshole. They know who's cool
4:26
They know who's paying their bills. They know who's going to credit cards going to bounce
4:31
They know who's a pain in the butt. They know who is, is cool to work with
4:36
They're influencers, influential influencers. They were kind of like the influencers of the eighties. Right
4:43
Old school. Right. And then I sort of was trying to come up with like
4:47
who do I kind of gravitate to and who do I talk to clients about gravitating to
4:52
And it's really the people that are in the room that have something going on
4:55
And, and you know who they are just by looking at them, you know, Usually they're standing around. There are people talking to them. They're usually the ones telling jokes
5:03
They're the ones that they won't be talking to each other, by the way, because the spotlight would then be on
5:09
They're usually standing off to the side one by one, and they're just kind of yet jobs
5:14
They kind of have the gift of gab. They kind of know all the people in the room
5:18
They're kind of like the unofficial ambassadors of the room. um usually they'll talk to and brag about maybe name drop other people that they know of or who
5:28
are connected to and so if i look at an event or a conference as a place as a jump off point
5:36
and i'm in there and i'm starting from scratch if i follow that kind of
5:41
map or blueprint the likelihood i'm going to come out the other side with some people
5:49
that I can add to my network, I just think are going to be higher. Even if James, by the way
5:54
you go and you are too afraid to talk to a yapper, just go stand next to them
6:01
Like, I mean, I talk a lot about proximity. It's why I find it silly and hilarious to me, but
6:08
it's why people get their pictures taken with the speakers or sports people or movie stars or
6:14
whatever because it's perceived proximity oh at one moment in time they were close to the person
6:20
of influence it may not necessarily mean anything but it looks good right and perception is is a high
6:29
perception is 99 of the of the game right right perception is truth regardless whether it's
6:37
accurate or not perception is the reality and i don't even think it's 99 i would actually say it's
6:43
100% of that person's reality. If I perceive Karen to be a meanie, it has complete irrelevancy
6:53
whether or not she's a meanie. The reality is that in my world, she's a meanie until proven
6:59
otherwise. She's not a meanie, by the way. First and foremost, let's not get into another
7:04
argument like we did last time because that was video gold last month when you guys got into a
7:11
little back and forth. Karen was a hundred. I mean, she's a control freak and I knew she was right
7:20
There was a high likelihood she was going to be right because, um, well
7:24
that because I was because I was so I have a question Casey I have a question for you I mean do you believe that relationships compound just like capital and but you have to be intentional
7:36
You have to be intentional about those relationships and the return on
7:42
Oh, absolutely. I mean, let's let's let's think about it. I mean, if we're talking about building one's network
7:49
To me, I think the ability to say that somebody's in their network, well, let's, Karen, if I can, let's kind of split things kind of different
8:02
I think there's a difference between somebody's social network and let's call it a non-social network, which basically can incorporate social network, but includes everybody else, right
8:13
if you don't have the ability to activate somebody in your network to get something done
8:20
then they're just in contact in your phone or a business card or whatever so um i think the
8:29
ability for us to strategically and with integrity compound um energy over time is incredibly
8:39
powerful. And what I find is that people that will push back on this thought process or push
8:47
back on this argument will say, well, you're forcing it. You're faking it. It's not, it's
8:52
not you being authentic. And I just don't believe that to be the case at all. If I'm going to pick
8:59
up the phone and send a text message to just say, have a, have an amazing day. That's not me faking
9:06
it and going oh i really don't want somebody to have a great day but i'm going to text these people
9:10
to say have a great day it's not that at all but it is doing things intentionally and on purpose
9:17
to cultivate and nurture a network of people no different than you nurture and network a garden
9:26
if all i did in a garden i don't know much about gardening like i like i live in los angeles
9:32
I'm a pretty boy. I have no interest in getting my fingers dirty and I don't live in dirt
9:38
But what I do know about gardening is that if I just go to the store and buy some seeds and take
9:47
the seeds and throw them out my window and I don't do anything else, the likelihoods that they are
9:54
going to produce any fruit or vegetables or flowers or anything, pretty close to zero. You might get
10:02
one or two, maybe just by pure dumb luck, because let's face it, even a blind squirrel will eventually
10:08
find a nut. But the reality is, okay, do something to get these to have something be nurtured
10:22
And I don't think it's any different than relationships. Yeah. And when I joke about
10:26
a blind squirrel will find a nut, I do mean that somewhat hilariously accurate
10:32
Yes. Could you run into somebody somewhere and meet them and you have an instant connection and not see them for 20 years and run into them randomly because they got a flat tire and you help
10:43
like yeah but wouldn't it be wouldn't it be less stressful to just have some kind of plan or system
10:53
or intentionality behind building relationships and connecting with people that can that you can help do stuff for and they can help do stuff with and for you as well i to
11:04
to me it's funny like when we were when i was prepping for today i was i was sort of laughing
11:09
going, how, like, don't people like, how do people not already do this? And then all I do is I, like
11:19
I said, I live in Los Angeles. I walk out the door and I assume people take a driver's test
11:24
but that is clearly not the case. I've been on a 405 myself lately. So I know, brother. I know
11:29
I mean, you, you would think that people should know how to like walk at a crosswalk or put a bag
11:35
in the overhead compartment of an airline or walk through security at a concert
11:40
But I am absolutely... You digress. Yeah. Right there. No, see, that's very interesting
11:47
And I want to tie in off of that. And Karen, I know you got some more questions, but common sense is not necessarily common
11:52
And that's maybe the reason why you have such a strong niche, a strong business opportunity
12:02
growing, right? Because, again, this common sense mentality is not common and folks need to consciously, with intentionality, using your word again there, understand how to engage at events, how to position themselves around those yappers, the right yappers too
12:21
Or anywhere. I mean, James, if we can, let's just broaden. I'm just talking about life. Yeah
12:27
Like, here are a couple of things that have just been helpful for me
12:34
Maybe they'll be helpful for you guys. Maybe they'll be helpful for somebody watching. I love the game of business
12:41
Love it. I could talk business and investing 24 hours a day
12:46
Love it. You want to talk to me about how to build a DeFi flywheel protocol
12:52
I'm game. You want to talk about how to get somebody to come to a restaurant four times in a row
12:57
at a tenth of the cost of what most restaurants are marketing to get somebody in the front door
13:03
I'm game. You want me to talk about how I love working at McDonald's or I produce being John
13:08
Matt? I could talk about this stuff nonstop because I'm interested and I'm so curious in
13:15
other people's stories. I'm curious in what makes them tick. I'm curious in how did you get here
13:21
Like, how are we meeting and talking here? Because I think the human experience is something that's so cool. And for me, I'm just super curious. So it's not just specific to an event, but like, some people go to temple, some people go to church, some people go to political rallies. I don't know why
13:44
Some people go to, you know, they go to clubs and parks
13:50
Well, like my gym, for whatever reason, the guy that owns my gym is just bound and determined to have all of the clients in the gym become friends
14:02
He wants that place to be a community. And some people are totally game for that and other people are not
14:08
So this isn't just an event or not. This is a, hey, I'm out experiencing life
14:14
I'm lifing on life in life. Who can I be curious enough to bump into today
14:21
Like, who am I going to be lucky enough to bump into today? And if you start asking yourself that question and put yourself in those types of conversations
14:30
it's crazy. I'll give you an example. Literally just happened this morning, this morning, because this can, this can happen
14:37
in the reverse as well. what I mean, the reverse is not everybody is susceptible or open to having a conversation
14:43
Not everybody is as curious as, as most business owners. So in Los Angeles here, there, I live
14:50
in a, in North Hollywood, which is part of the valleys, you know, gag me with a spoon
14:54
that whole thing And um just up the road there was this 1920s office building and it was a bank It used to be a bank And that bank went out of business when you know banks went out of business
15:06
And somebody bought it and turned it into a bar and it was called the Federal
15:10
And it was such a cool space in the knitting factory, which is a very famous musician
15:15
music venue and comedy shows up there. Thing went out of business
15:20
okay it's been vacant for several years and a brand new business just walked just just opened
15:26
up there less than a month ago and i cannot remember the name of it um that's gonna drive
15:32
me crazy but it's something to the form of like the witch's brew or something like that and they've
15:39
turned it into a coffee shop that's very community driven and you walk in and so i i was i was on a
15:47
walked this morning and I walked in to get a pastry and the place is done amazing very different
15:52
from the federal there's lots of like unicorns and dogs and and it's it's very artsy fartsy it's very
15:59
like I don't know I grew up in the 90s in Seattle in sort of the grunge era so it's kind of like
16:07
you're a Kurt Cobain kind of man okay there we go I saw him perform live in a garage once that's a
16:13
whole different topic but yeah uh so it's very like earthy and portland in the 90s like it's just
16:22
has that vibe right there were three people working there and i walked in i'm like hey the
16:27
place looks awesome in here what can i get you there you go i'm like whoa what so how old was
16:37
the person that you talked to? Were they a seasoned like we are or a little bit younger
16:44
There were two, what I would say, seasoned adults and one youngster. But it was interesting because
16:50
I could not, their business is built on the idea of a neighborhood collection and community. And
16:58
the people working there were so not. I took it three steps further and then I just gave up and
17:05
I was like, how the hell with this? But I couldn't break into rapport with any of the three people there
17:12
Wow. But it really got me thinking about if we're curious, not everybody is going to be receptive to that
17:22
And it would be very easy for me to just go and then get all upset and mad about it and talk about it on a radio interview
17:29
Or I could just continue about my day and still be curious
17:35
So I want to bring up, there's different kinds of networking. And I think transactional networking is dead
17:41
It used to be you'd go to a chamber of commerce, at least in my day, you'd go in
17:46
And everyone was literally not listening. They were selling to each other. You go in and before you even opened your mouth, they were telling you what they were
17:53
going to, and back and forth. I think it's dead. I don't know what you guys think, but I think that transactional networking, if it isn't
18:00
dead, it's almost dead. And I would like to call it more in its place is relationship networking, because it is up to us to create those relationships so that, as you're saying, we can take it into the next level and the next level
18:13
I want to do business with people that I know, like, and trust. And the only way I'm going to know, like, and trust them is have a conversation with them and not have them immediately sell to me because that's, I'm gone immediately
18:24
I don't know about you, James, if somebody like, how do you do? Hey, buy my shit. I mean, it's like, and Casey, I know you too, right
18:30
That's what I ask him pretty much all the time anyway. That's literally in the email. Right
18:36
You've heard me do, James. This is a different show. I know you've got several shows
18:40
Come back to this one. Come back in about two hours and we can have that conversation
18:44
Well, I've been seeing other shows. Okay. But it's true. I mean, BNI is a perfect example
18:53
I know you did BNI for years. I don't think you're doing it anymore
18:57
I did BNI for several years when I lived up in Northern California. Um, and I did it because I was told that's what I was supposed to do because I was new
19:05
to the business arena. And every, every Wednesday at 7.00 AM, I think it was 6.30 AM
19:10
I would meet in San Rafael, California and meet all these people that I'm still friends with
19:15
No, no, which is interesting, but did not do one piece of business
19:21
I made lots of connections, lots of relationships, but not one piece of business at all
19:26
And so I think that I can't be alone in that. Right. I can't be alone in going to things like this. And I'm, I'm the one who gives
19:33
gives and gives. So I think it's curious that, um, I couldn't do one piece of business. I don't know how you feel about that
19:42
Uh, well, a couple of things. I mean, I love BNI as an organization. I love what they
19:46
I love their, their preach in transparency. I, I worked with them for a bit
19:52
Um, um transactional networking is dead unless a transaction is what is needed oh my goodness
20:01
right right all right then I I I do think I I do think there is a there is a component of
20:11
transactional networking if a need and a supply coexist in the same short amount of time right
20:20
If I go to a Chamber of Commerce event and I get a flat tire in the parking lot and there's a guy there that owns a mechanic, a mobile mechanic and can fix my flat tire, then that exchange is a high likelihood that's going to happen
20:33
Where we run into trouble is if that's the only component where people only think, oh, if I get my business card into 30 people's hands, then I'll get a call
20:41
Not the case. And it's much more important the higher the trust point of whatever the product or service is that you're selling
20:50
Right? It's like, I don't have a relationship with the store owner or the manufacturer of this pen
21:01
Right? I bought this. I was just, we were just talking about this before we started. I bought this razor on the TikTok shop. I don't know who I bought it from. I don't know who I
21:10
didn't, I didn't trust the person doing the ad. It was like, oh, here's this, use it and it won't
21:16
break your skin okay and i click a button i pay 17 bucks
21:21
bye bye um but that is a one-off type deal it's like playing a game of checkers it's like thinking you're playing
21:36
checkers and the rest of the world playing chess and and so i think there is a um
21:46
Let me kind of say it a little bit differently. I can always tell how connected someone is by how easily they are to get stuff done with their phone
21:59
If somebody tells me that they have to go to chat TV or they have to go to Google to get shit done, they're not well-networked
22:08
I don't care. I just don't – you cannot convince me otherwise. if somebody comes to me with a problem and I go, James, I got a guy, hang on a second
22:16
And I connect somebody immediately. If you come to me and say, Hey, Casey, I need to find
22:25
um I need to find somebody that I can cater a meal with And I go well hang on a second Let me go to Google or let me go to chat GPT I ain that hard
22:35
Yeah. If you want to test this, go tell somebody, you want to test somebody
22:40
I just thought of this actually. Go say, you know what? I'm thinking about selling my house
22:44
I'm thinking about buying my house. If somebody you're talking to says
22:49
oh my gosh, I've got seven realtors I got to connect you with like right now immediately. they're well networked in other areas yeah if they go i don't really know if i don't really know
22:59
i mean for god's sakes a realtor is like i can go outside my house and throw a rock and hit 17 of
23:03
them yeah probably at the same time so let me let me ask you this because i mean you sparking
23:09
things to me that i don't want us to gloss over because again i think there are learned experiences
23:14
though and and this is the reason why i asked you the age of the folks at the coffee shop right
23:19
Again, folks that have been through the trenches a little bit are the ones who understand the value of that conscious engagement, that conscious conversation
23:29
Right. And that is missing a lot, in my humble opinion, with different and younger generations, because all they know
23:39
By the way, this is exactly what your parents said about you and their parents said about them
23:44
All right. We're done. You know what? this. I didn't know this was going to turn into a therapy session for me
23:49
But I mean, we all went to the conferences and James, you just came back from NAB, right
23:55
We did the conferencing and then COVID hit, right? And all of in real life stuff went into
24:02
Zoom rooms and all of this not in real life. I used to say, take your relationships
24:08
from online, take them offline, right? Because that's what makes it that's what makes that
24:15
relation, whether it's a phone call, that's offline. I don't mean necessarily face to face
24:19
but then COVID hit and we took everything and put it online to the point that many of us have
24:26
forgotten how to go to events, how to go to networking places. I mean, I'm one of, I
24:32
you know that James, I'm literally right. I don't, don't like going to them. And I
24:37
And I used to do them all the time and I have no desire to do them again at all for that very reason
24:43
I don't know. And Casey, you're always at it. I mean, you, that's what you do
24:47
How do you gear yourself up to make each event and each activity and each situation be that relationship building that it needs to be and not become something icky
24:57
Because that's sticky to me. Because I make it a complete game. I just game. I just try to gamify everything
25:03
you know it's funny Karen when you were talking about the zoom thing just for a second
25:08
I just got back from taking 70 investors out on a cruise we spent a week together
25:15
and I had a bunch of clients I checked my email I didn't see my www.investorsonthesea.com
25:26
and you can book your February 2027 cruise we're going to the bottom
25:30
So I just had this vision several years ago where I wanted to create a spot where investors could get on board a ship, go hang out on a tax-deductible trip, and have a great time masterminding and sharing and exchanging ideas about different opportunities that there were in the world to invest
25:52
That was it. And we took 70 people out on this time, right
25:55
The last one was 42. This one was 72. Like my goal in February, by the way, is over a hundred
26:03
And do you know what? One of the most interesting comments I heard
26:07
and I heard it multiple times, which is, gosh, it's so nice to see that people have legs
26:15
And it was people like Karen, who don't like leaving their house and they are so used to seeing
26:25
you know, nipples and up. this nipples and up right and if you are i used to do the events i mean i used to be out
26:34
all the time traveling back and forth and maybe maybe i just got tired of it i don't know i can't
26:40
even imagine doing it again i think it's all i can't get her to go to nashville casey so you
26:44
know what we okay i'm not i'm not gonna put our business out in the street but let me check my
26:49
invite list because I'm not sure I got my natural list. Oh, oh, touche, touche. Hey, okay
26:59
Here's the thing. It is, I don't think, I think networking is on purpose and intentional
27:09
but I also think it's just a way of being, right? It's like when you go to the doctor's office
27:16
How are you interacting with the person at the doctor's office? I mean, yesterday I went and had a thing on my face checked out
27:26
And by the, by me sitting there for 10 minutes, I've got like the three girls that were working
27:31
the front counter. I don't, we were talking about liposuction and freezing fat and all kinds of hilarious
27:38
One of them had this really cool arm tattoo. So I'm talking about her arm tattoo and did it hurt
27:42
I don't really care whether arm tattoo hurt or not. but it's engaging in that rapport building and it's sharing that human experience which is
27:53
so valuable in the business world because it's just practice like people like you know I had a
28:01
conversation with a client earlier today and he was just like well I'm an introvert and I got to
28:05
put myself out there and I'm really trying and I'm you know I'm and I'm like you're doing fantastic
28:10
you're not used to it. You've been in a cubicle for 40 years
28:16
Like, how are you expected to go out and be? And then the world stopped. Right. So, so again
28:21
then everyone essentially reset. But you know what, here's the thing. I'm going to
28:26
I'm going to probably be a little controversial with this one and, and go ahead, brother. This is your, this is your day
28:32
This is your day. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to give a different
28:37
I'm going to give a different, I'm going to start with something that happened to me while I was on this cruise ship
28:43
And then I'll bring it up. I'll give you full screen. You say what you have to say, sir. So when I was on this cruise ship a couple of weeks ago, I had one hour a day to myself
28:53
And that one hour a day, I spent walking the deck of the whole ship
28:56
And it was on deck four. And I would walk to the back of the ship
29:00
And I would look off the back. And I was usually the only one there because it's like at 5 o'clock in the morning
29:05
I look back and it dawned on me with like all the weight and gravity that I could try to describe
29:13
right now. I look back and it hit me. It's like, my gosh, everything up until literally this moment
29:20
is behind this ship. And we are never, ever, no matter how hard I want, ever going to get it back
29:27
I don't care how hard you try. You can try to turn the ship around. You can try to throw that
29:31
thing in reverse, you're never going to get that time back. You're never going to get those experiences back
29:37
And then I would walk to the front and I would have the king of the world moment because it was the helipad, the little thing was there and you could stand out there
29:43
Right. And I looked out front and I was like, oh, my gosh
29:48
even though this ship is on a GPS tracker and the computer system is making micro adjustments and we're headed to Los Angeles
29:58
And yes, it could be course correct. And yes, it could be changed, but the only thing in front of me is blue ocean of abundance
30:05
That's everything. I couldn't see anything else. It was just the whole world was in front
30:09
And then I would walk to the back and I would look back and I go, wow, everything from up
30:15
until this moment is behind us. Right. And what it did, James, for me was really presence me back to, I can make all kinds of
30:26
statements on things that happened to me in the past that I could then use to justify what I'm
30:35
going to do or not do in the future, right? Trauma as a kid, the pandemic, elections, I mean
30:42
all kinds of stuff that we can fall back on as a way to say, oh, well, like, listen
30:48
I'm not here to say that the young kids today are like normal. I mean, they're lunkheads, right
30:54
but it is true that my parents thought we were long cats i mean let's not forget it i don't know
31:01
i'm still old enough to remember that the news had to remind our parents that they had kids it's 10
31:07
p.m you know where your kids are oh my gosh you're flashing back yes you are and now kids are
31:15
attached to their moms with a leash i mean the idea is like in the 80s if you had said
31:21
you can attach your kid to you with a velcro leash we've been like throw her ass in jail
31:28
that would not have happened in our day yeah um anyways i say all that to say this
31:36
yes the pandemic happened we were in lockdown it was bad okay there are people that are through it
31:43
and there are people that are still in the pandemic right okay perspective i like that
31:47
There are people that, I mean, look, I will not make this
31:53
It's not just that. I won't make this about politics, but I will say this
31:58
We live in a very divided country right now. Yeah. Right? And people have this need to be a part of a group by excluding some other group
32:08
Right. I posted a picture on Facebook yesterday that it's funny because it had zero to do with politics
32:16
and yet i started laughing because i didn't look at the post until this morning
32:21
and every comment was political so there's this gas station in los angeles downtown los angeles
32:28
right at the end of alvera street and i actually think it's a publicity stunt but they always put
32:34
gas prices at like two dollars a gallon more than what it really is so if it's six dollars a gallon
32:40
They've got it at eight. Yeah, there's the picture, right? And it's like 850 a gallon
32:46
Now, I live in Los Angeles. We're the first or second largest
32:50
metropolitan city on the planet. We're the fourth largest economy in the world
32:54
We don't have shit going on here. I got to tell you, it's expensive to live here
32:59
OK, I don't live in Arkansas. OK, if I wanted 39 cent gas, I'd live in Arkansas
33:05
I'm willing to pay a little bit more to live near the ocean
33:10
That's not a slight on Arkansas. I have plenty of friends that live in Arkansas. Way to clean that up there, young man
33:17
I know, right? That's just trying to get us back. But every comment, people are like, oh, that's a blue state
33:25
Oh, well, you know, lookie. I mean, and you just go, it's a picture of a Chevron station
33:35
But we have this, this, so this, this, and what's hilarious, is I unfriended like four of the people left comments
33:46
And my view is like, if you live in a world where your entire focus
33:52
is figuring out how to put people in either the camp that I agree with or the camp I hate
33:58
which is really, you know, I guess that's not my deal. I'm going to be in a world
34:04
where it is celebrated with different colors, heights, perspectives. viewpoints, backgrounds, like I go on a hike, I go on a hike every almost every morning. And if I go
34:18
on a hike, and I hear less than four languages spoke, I'm like shocked. And I think there's a
34:25
whole big group of people that'd be like, I'm hearing four languages. And I'm hearing like
34:32
I hear four languages like, right? Which makes you heard five. Yeah, I have a friend of mine, a newer friend of mine, and he's from Iraq
34:43
And he comes over and he makes me and brings over Iraqi food
34:49
And we have Iraqi food. Oh, right. Since I'm my way. Oh, my gosh
34:54
But I'm curious that way. And I think the way this ties back into networking is if you're going to events and you're going
35:02
about your daily life and you're not curious at all and you only go to a chamber of commerce event
35:08
and hand out your business card to 30 people you're gonna get the non-curious hand your business card
35:14
out to 30 people result which is you're broke and you're gonna get a job if someone will hire you
35:20
because you're probably a tool and can't even have a conversation skill set with somebody so you're
35:26
gonna be online trying to find a way to make money online without talking to anybody how do you really
35:31
how do you feel in this case? How do you really feel? Listen, let him go. That's it right there, brother
35:35
Now we're getting to the meat right there. It's so frustrating and fascinating and funny to me
35:46
kind of all simultaneously. I don't, I think people, if they would just take an extra beat
35:53
and ask somebody like, how are you feeling? Oh I you said you went to the doctor yesterday How did it go Ask one more question than what you really actually care to know the answer to Like that kind of my philosophy Like if I say James how it going And you know it going good i kind of done like okay you told me it going good i gonna ask like one more question and then i then it okay for me to drop but it like i want to be curious
36:22
i want to be curious like hey that's an interesting sweatshirt it looks brand new
36:27
did you get a new sweatshirt what did you get does it mean anything or did you just pull it out of
36:31
of you know the attic you know yeah a little bit of both yeah you know it's like somebody sees
36:37
something in in in in in in the background of a zoom oh tell me about like the what like
36:43
it's just an exercise of being curious it's like you can't be like you go to a restaurant
36:51
go to a restaurant and just start asking the server questions yeah why are you here
36:55
so i i know karen's is i know she's itching because she's got a lot of things to ask but
37:01
here I go being selfish. Just one question, just based off of that right there
37:06
The importance of being curious is a determinant of your success as well, professionally and
37:15
personally. And this right here, what you're talking about, this common sense that's not
37:19
common, this can be taught. There's a lot of things that I feel you cannot teach. I can't
37:25
help you be motivated. If you're not already motivated, you're no good to me. I'm no good
37:30
to you it's different seasons for different folks but this whole aspect of asking that next question
37:36
asking that leading question being curious again if you're an introvert or an extrovert or what's
37:42
the other one there's a whole nother one i think i'm right in the middle with whatever that is if you're yes it starts with me if but if you're if but if you're one of those and you're looking
37:53
to build a business or a persona a personal brand professional brand whatever and if you don't take
37:59
that extra effort to how's your day how's your where'd you get that shirt I love that uh imagery
38:07
on behind you I I do I just I need to get one of those portraits of the eyes there because that's
38:13
for me but if you don't do that you will continue to be stuck in in my opinion you will continue to
38:19
not reach that fulfillment of what you what your level of success is or could be you can teach that
38:27
And that's what, Casey, I think that's what you do. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I think that's the value you bring just by being the ideal networker
38:36
Oh, my God. Well, James, you know what? To your point, I mean, here's the thing
38:43
I'm just, whether you call it networking or relationship building or whatever you want to call it, at the end of the day, we are only on the planet for a short amount of time
38:55
And I think I've just realized that in the last year, I lost my dad a year ago
39:00
One of my best friends passed away a day after Thanksgiving. And there's just a real present consciousness that our time here is short and we should probably make the best of it
39:18
I mean, I think I may have even said this on the last episode. I saw a Facebook meme that I cannot shake out of my head
39:24
I live it every single day. I'm going to share it with the two of you in hopes that I change your life forever
39:32
It's a picture of a toilet paper roll. And it says, life is like a roll of toilet paper
39:43
Slow at first, but the closer to the end, the faster it goes
39:48
Wow. And I got to tell you, I saw that years ago
39:52
I don't look at toilet paper in the grocery store. I don't look at toilet paper in a stall
39:57
I don't look at toilet paper in my house or anybody else's house without being
40:01
represenced in a nanosecond to, wow, my toilet paper will be starting to speed
40:09
Right. And so because of that, I want to get as much out of this planetary experience as possible
40:17
And, you know, there's a guy walking across the street. He's got a dog, literally three legs
40:22
How does a guy like that, looking like that, come about a dog with three legs
40:29
Like, I'm curious. I'm genuinely curious. Like, what's the story? We need to stop the show for a second
40:33
Pretty much. Listen, take your phone or you're out there with you and we can do it on the spot
40:38
You want to know something completely wrong? So my dad was a veterinarian. So we produce three legs dogs, frankly
40:46
But here's what's very odd. In my neighborhood, I have no idea why
40:51
I am absolutely convinced that there is some kind of like dog rescue or something, because there are no less than six or seven dogs in my neighborhood that are three legs
41:00
It's the most bizarre thing. Wow. That's kind of lucky. So we're talking about relationship building
41:09
We're talking about networking. We're talking about making those connections that ultimately might bring help to somebody or they bring help to you
41:19
whatever it is you're causing these relationships and we always like to have an action plan as we
41:24
get towards the end of the show and casey i'm taking from you actually you you were kind enough
41:28
to send stuff to us so the first the first action plan is the audit we want you to reconnect with
41:34
three high return on e roe engagement return on engagement right is that what that is
41:42
energy return on energy engagement energy energy oh my goodness i know i'm so
41:49
only one of my best friends clearly my branding is working so that we want you to reconnect with three of those people
41:58
and how can they what what would be a way they could reconnect they could send a text
42:02
first thing is um first thing is how about you take out a piece of paper
42:11
and actually write them down. Man, literally have a piece of paper
42:15
with a bunch of names written down. This is these are like my high influence people that I just friends with I keep it literally when you saw how fast I pulled it I pulled out of a desk drawer pick some people in your network and send them a text message Just going Hey I was thinking about you today Hey I watched this podcast And
42:31
this, this, this, this dude told me I should text people that come to mind. So text a few people like it's pretty easy
42:36
So that's number one, you make sure you do that. I did this exercise on a cruise ship, by the way, where I had everybody spend five minutes
42:43
texting people in their phone. And then we took a sample of 20 people, because that's
42:48
how many work days there are in a month. And I said, this is what's possible in a month
42:53
Randomly, some days you're going to have zero. Some days you're going to have far. Do you know how many messages were sent out in five minutes
42:58
as a collective group when I took 20 and added them all together
43:04
11,393. Whoa. Now I want you to think about what that looks like for somebody's business
43:13
if over a year there was a hundred thousand messages sent out on their phone now in in in
43:20
in in in in right now yeah that's good somebody did send out like 10 000 of them to a blank message
43:28
but still it was those social deposits into those relationships of what's valuable i mean the other
43:35
thing karen and maybe we're going to get to it i know we're not going to have a ton of time but if you guys are introverts and you like you're you're like oh this seems like a whole lot of work
43:43
then go create a room for people to become and be the one that owns the room if you own the room
43:50
you've got instant credibility and instant um karma points and remember when i said that that
43:58
you should go get to know the organizers in the beginning of the show well if you're the organizer
44:02
you know what the people of influence are going to do they're going to try to get to know you
44:06
It's kind of like a cheat sheet and a shortcut. That's a good one
44:14
That's why I make tens of dollars. You just made a couple extra nickels with there because you resonated with me with some things
44:24
Action item number two, the connection. You want to make one intentional introduction between two people in your network
44:33
I personally love doing this. This is my favorite thing to do is I meet somebody and go, oh, I know somebody
44:39
And I will put them to. There's a Jewish word. It's a shidduch. I make a connection
44:43
I make a shidduch. And I do. I was going to go down the whole toilet paper road and make
44:48
No, no. But I do that. Talk is what you're saying. Exactly
44:55
Exactly. Do you do that, James? Do you connect people? I do
45:00
And again, this conversation is very introspective for me as well. I won't belabor it all, but I like the concept of that Rolodex
45:08
Again, using something that only us old school season folks kind of understand
45:14
Being that conduit to information, that connector. I don't like the word influence, but I like the word advocate
45:20
But everything that's been said here. Yeah, I'm conscious about doing that as well
45:26
And I was going to look for the I use an app called Mesh. So Casey, you've got actually written it down in a piece of paper
45:34
but I use an app called mesh that is like my CRM for relationships
45:40
It reminds me, Hey, after three months, Hey, have you talked to Karen
45:44
Have you reached out to Casey? Oh, it's his birthday. It's that when was the last time you talked to him
45:48
So it keeps my life kind of in alignment just from that perspective
45:53
And it is on the front screen of my, of my phone because it hits me every day in the morning with what to do
46:00
who I should reach out to. So that's why I'm resonating and listening so attentively
46:05
And the long answer is short. Yes, this is some good stuff here, man
46:09
Let me take it a half step further. So it's, oh, I meet somebody
46:14
I'm going to introduce them to them because I think they're cool. Yes, that's awesome. That's awesome
46:18
And that's a humongous first step. Where it gets sexy is when you're helping somebody solve a problem
46:26
Or you're helping somebody find a service provider that they need. And when you do that, if it's possible, I highly recommend that you introduce that person to three different people
46:37
So if, for example, Karen says to me, hey, my air conditioner is broken in Palm Springs
46:44
I could say, Karen, you got to talk to my friend, Sally Sue. She owns Palm Springs air conditioner
46:50
That's great. I'm now connecting a service provider to a potential customer, and I'm trying to make that fit happen
46:57
But here's what happens. let's say sally sue really messes up karen's air conditioner then i've got two people now that are
47:04
mad at me because i'm the one that put them in touch so kind of the insurance policy on that if
47:09
you will is to say hey sally sue i want you to meet karen and bob i want you to meet karen and
47:15
hey chuck in a truck i want you to meet karen karen i'm going to introduce you to three people
47:20
in my network that do air conditioning now you pick whichever one works the best but i'm going
47:25
to make the introductions. Yeah. Well, what I've really done is I've really helped Karen because
47:30
now I'm giving her choices and starting point. But here's the other sexy thing. The other sexy
47:37
thing is three vendors out there are also knowing that I'm putting them in potential touch with a
47:43
customer. It does not necessarily mean that they get the job. That is ill relevant. What matters
47:50
is that i'm on on their mind and i'm thinking of them right and so so when you are introducing
47:58
people if you guys can and you want practice see if there's an opportunity for you to introduce them
48:04
to two people or three people because all three of the people that you introduce them to are going
48:11
to have that same warm fuzzy as the one right i just i actually just did this i'm working on a
48:17
project with a guy who's who wrote a book and um when i saw it i said oh my gosh this should be a
48:24
netflix netflix documentary oh and so i ended up introducing him to three different publishers of which the first one did not fit for him at all and he ended up going with another one and the book will be coming out So I 100 Casey you want to make sure that you give some alternatives
48:41
because we don't all resonate with everybody. Not everybody likes me and wants to work with me
48:47
but there might be somebody else. So absolutely, I think you want to make sure
48:50
that you give enough choices and they're going to appreciate that. All three of those people are going to appreciate it
48:58
And in turn, if something comes across their desk or when they're out and about, they're
49:03
going to think about you as well. Right. I mean, let's take Karen's example there just for a hot second
49:10
So so this is this is interesting, right? So if I went back and I replayed the tape and heard Karen say, she goes, well, I introduced
49:19
him to three different publishers. And the first one, he absolutely did not go right in my head
49:25
Do you know what I actually heard? I'm like, wow, she's taking the point of view of what she thought would be good for him
49:33
And the reality is what she did was for the publishing company that didn't get the job
49:37
she's still at the top of their list. And so what we sometimes find is like, oh, well, they didn't get along
49:45
Okay. That's their bull. That's on them. That's on them. I gave them choice
49:53
Right. and i think yeah that's what they want they want choice i don't think they want to
49:59
i think they want choice i agree with that the gold in this though karen the gold in this for
50:05
everybody listening the gold is not who they chose or who they didn't choose the gold is that karen
50:13
had two people or three people in her network that she could activate and actively promote to
50:19
potential customer actually got three exposures to three different opportunities in the the outcome
50:28
of the connection if you can wrap your head around that that's not what matters it matters in the
50:36
social and relationship capital being built across all four of those people that's where the game
50:42
game gets completely changed. That's good. Yeah, absolutely. The third piece, the third person, third person
50:50
third thing in the action plan is the move. Put yourself in, this is
50:54
I don't know if we're gonna be able to do this, 48 hours, put yourself in one better room in the next 48 hours
51:02
Is anyone going anywhere? I'm gonna say, why am I gonna be in 48 hours? No, I don't think so
51:07
Understand what a better room actually means in this context. It just means in a place that there might be somebody that would be a better activation in your network
51:19
I'll give you an example. Let's give you an example. If you're going to go to Taco Bell tonight for dinner, how about go to Red Robin
51:28
if you're going to go to a restaurant tonight go to a room where the servers are probably a little
51:37
bit better or go to the bar where the where there's a little bit um different caliber of
51:43
person not that one's better than the other but when we say better like stretch it a little bit
51:49
like go someplace where it's going to be a little bit nicer go someplace where you know you're going
51:56
to get treated a little bit better because the likelihood that you're going to meet somebody there or bump into somebody or be able to ask somebody a question or two in is like just in a
52:06
different room has a higher likelihood of having a long-term effect so what casey's really suggesting
52:12
is we should all go out to the bar tonight and uh you know that's a good room to be in because
52:19
it's been a few years since i've been to taco bell and yeah the conversations there were never
52:24
okay okay let me you're a different this is different the level of conversation is different
52:31
so to kind of bring this all closing in here so real leverage is not how many people you know
52:41
it's not how many people you know it's how many people you trust enough to open a door
52:46
when you aren't in the room i love this this this is an amazing quote thank you case it's an amazing
52:53
quote because that really kind of says it all. I think it says it all. Any last thoughts, my friend
52:58
Both of you, my friends, but Casey first. I just really appreciate what you guys are doing and what
53:03
you're bringing to the table and the conversations that you're having. I think it's really amazing
53:07
that you're bringing a community of people together where you are pushing the bounds and
53:12
pushing the human experience and whether it's digital or og or not at all. What you're
53:19
really doing is you're giving people the opportunity to sort of plug in and be a part of something
53:23
that's really really cool and amazing so i think i just speak on behalf of all your guys's um
53:29
listeners and just say thank you for uh thank you for doing this and thanks for having me
53:34
well you're always we always love having you case you're you're a blast an absolute blast you'll
53:39
have to come back may mess around and become a regular keep keep talking like that we we may
53:46
have to figure something but see you get it and again i want to be cognizant of time when you said
53:49
you have to go but that right there is the premise and the mission of the digital collective right
53:54
having these real conversations uh unfiltered unbiased and getting down to the real nitty-gritty
54:01
getting getting down to you know conversations like that brother you never know what i'm gonna pull up on the screen right just getting down to
54:12
conversations like that that right there matters you have we have to do a clip
54:19
right i i guess that's how we end roll it up oh my god okay well no on that note thank you all from joining us today on the digital
54:31
collective case as always it's a pleasure having you on the show and dr hicks it's always a pleasure
54:38
having a conversation i'm just here to help us from the back man appreciate you guys we'll see
54:41
you next time thanks everybody
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