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Authenticity: Do we really get wiser as we get older?
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May 3, 2017
Hello everyone! Caren Glasser here and Welcome to The Little White Lie Movement…. A Movement About Loving The Age You're in! On these weekly FB lives I invite my guests to share their stories, expertise, tools and tips on how we all can embrace our authentic self, talents, and gifts and say YES to embracing our Little White Lie! Let’s connect at TheLittleWhiteLie.com If you are here on replay… Today’s topic is Authenticity. We ask the question: Do we really get wiser as we get older? Joining me today is Cat Williford. She is a pioneer in the field of Coaching and is a Transformational Self-Development Coach, Speaker, Author. She received one of the first six certifications bestowed by the prestigious Coaches Training Institute. She has appeared as a guest expert on The Maury Povich Show, been featured in the Los Angeles Times, and coached live on L.A.’s ABC Talk Radio. Some of the things we talk about: One of the big topics online and off is Do we really get wiser as we get older? I am often asked: “If you could go back to you at a younger age, what would you do differently? Or not! Contact info for Cat: Website: http://www.catwilliford.com FB & LI: Cat Williford FB Page: @authenticityadvantagewomensseries Twitter: @catwilliford Cat is launching a virtual women’s series that begins on May 18, 2017 based on her signature program The Authenticity Advantage™. Also offering a retreat in September.
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Hello, everyone. Karen Glasser here and welcome to the Little White Lie movement. This is
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a movement about loving the age that you're in. And on the show every single week on our
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Facebook lives, I invite the experts in to share their tips, tools and strategies on how
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to live an authentic life. And our guest today is all about authenticity. So we're going
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to be talking about her in just a second. But if you're here on replay, we're delighted
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that you're here on replay. Make sure you comment in the comments below because we're going to come
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back after the show and maybe even during the show we're going to pop you right up onto the screen
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so that we can answer your questions and continue this conversation. And before we introduce my
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guest today, I'm just going to do my reveal that I do every single week and show you this lovely
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white little top that's going on in the top of my head. Yeah. And I just have to be honest with
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you today. I'm having a I hate my hair day. So I'm just putting it out there. It's really
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really white. And it's just not working for me today. But hey, you know, that's just the way it
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goes. So without further ado, I'm really excited to invite our guest onto the show today because
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the topic is on authenticity. Right. And our guest is all about authenticity. And the question that
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we're asking and we want you to put into the question into the comments below if you have an
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answer for us, please answer. We'd love to hear from you. Do we really get wiser as we get older
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Do we really get wiser as we get older? So we have Kat Williford on with us today. She's a
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pioneer in the field of coaching and is a transformational self-development coach
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speaker, and author. She's received one of the first six certifications bestowed
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by the prestigious Coaches Training Institute, and she's appeared as a guest expert on the
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Maury Povich Show. I've got to hear about that. And been featured in the Los Angeles Times and
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coached live on LA's ABC Talk Radio. You are awesome, Kat. Welcome to the show
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I am so excited to be here, and I'm thrilled to be here in this conversation, and just a chance to
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get to connect with you again. So happy. Well, I'm just delighted that you're here, and when we
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started talking about what the topic was going to be, I mean, it was like a no-brainer to bring you
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in, because this is your topic. So let's just jump right in, okay? And by the way, guys, if you want
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I join the conversation, put your comments in here. Oh, wait, you know what, I'm just going to
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put a comment before we even get to the question. So Daneen says, I believe I've become wiser as I
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have gotten older. Thank goodness. Yeah, me too. How about you, Kat? Absolutely. And I think even
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the key though, just because we're older doesn't mean we're aware of the wisdom. I think it is in
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our awareness as we sit back and look at our lives, our choices, what's available to us
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it, that's where the wisdom shows up. It's, it's tangible. It's in the actions that we choose to
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take. I, I so agree. You know, I'm, I've been asked this question so many times. If you could
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go back to your twenties, first of all, would you? And second of all, you know, what would your older
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self tell your younger self? Would you do things differently? What do you think? I mean, is that
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a question that's even fair to ask? Well, I ask it to my clients all the time, so I hope it's fair
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to ask. But one of the things that I believe, when I look back at my 20-year-old self, boy
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do I have so much compassion for her. She was so in the struggle of wanting to be good enough
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wanting to be pretty enough smart all those enoughnesses And boy was that hard on her Oh my God So I mean how about you So I going to ask you the question Do you want to go back to when you were 20 I don I don And I don know that I would have said that four years ago
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I think I would have said, heck yeah. And I want to take everything I've learned and grown into
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with me. So if I could take everything that I've learned and the wisdom that I
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achieve and the actions I now take because of that. Yeah. But you know what? There is something
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so beautiful about being a woman in my 50s. Oh, my gosh. And I can say about being a woman in my
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60s, the same thing. There's something about the knowledge and the experience and everything that
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we've gone through on this journey to get to where we are that makes a huge difference, I think
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how we show up. What do you think? I think you're absolutely right on because if we didn't have all
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those experiences. And again, wisdom is really the ability to look and utilize and leverage all
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that we've gone through the pain, the turmoil, the trauma, the drama, the externally imposed
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internally imposed, all of those things. But to take that and carry ourselves differently
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you know, one of my big conversations, and you and I talked a little bit about this is the invisibility of the middle aged woman out there. And it's just bunk. We are so vibrant
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We are so full of contribution and passion and we see each other
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We're just not sure everybody else sees this as who we really are
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That's why authenticity is so important. The more authentic we are and the more we strip away the masks of pretending what they want or what we think they want, the more visible and powerful we become
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So Veronica thinks it's all about choice. and my choices are certainly more informed at my age
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How do you feel about that? Do you think it's a choice thing too? I think almost anything in life is choice
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in terms of how we deal with things. It's not always my choice what comes at me
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but I am responsible for the choices that I then get to make as best I can in the moment
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hopefully bringing all that wisdom, all that learning that I've had with me
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into those next choices. I agree. we've got a comment from Roy he says wisdom equals knowledge applied I love that that's a great quote
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is that yours Roy you can go ahead and comment in there is this actually is this one of yours
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because you have the best quotes he also said do the best you can and when you know better do better
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not doing so makes you dumb on purpose oh my god I love Roy that's awesome that is so great it's so
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great yeah when you're when your clients come to you I mean what is what is is there like a one
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particular challenge or is it all over the place? What do they come to you for
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You know, the topics will vary. So those are wide ranging, but really when we come down to what the
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synthesized root of things are, it is very similar. And I think it's part of the root of being human
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And that is how and what do I want to show the world? And where am I today? And I think so many
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women wind up at my doorstep because they haven't kept current with themselves. We're so good at
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giving to other people, getting on a mission, contributing out there, doing our work that we
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forget to get current with us. So the theme is always getting current with ourselves so that
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we're clear on what our next choices are wanting to be. Right. You know, and one of the things that
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I always like flashback on when I think about the question, do we get wiser as we get older
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I think about as being a parent you know and I remember my parents telling me just wait till you older and you understand or just wait till you have kids of your own And you know I remember my parents
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saying that. I'm sure you do too. I mean, we all remember our parents saying, just you wait
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And I hear that as, and my kids are older now. I've got my youngest is going to be 32. My oldest
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is 43. And yet I still catch myself thinking about the things that I wish I had really paid
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attention to and listen to my folks or listen to the mentors that I had. What do you feel about
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that? Is that a normal kind of feeling as we get older that we wish that we had paid more attention
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It's so funny that you bring this up because I just bought a Mother's Day card for my mom
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And it basically is on what you're talking about here. It's something like, oh, I can't remember
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shooting. I've already wrapped it up or I'd show it up. But it was about, thanks for not telling
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me I told you so all those times you could have told me I told you so as an adult. You know
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all those things that she shared with me, and I didn't believe I said, Oh, that'll never happen
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And you know, so I think there is something to that. And I think there's also something to
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in youth, we have to discover for ourselves. We just have to that's part of being human. It's part
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of the journey. And we can understand the wisdom. But until we experience something in that that
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moment of choice. And if we're rebellious, we may choose to ignore the wisdom shared with us and go
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and do what we want to do because it feels really good. So as a woman of a certain age, or women of
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certain ages, you know, do we so how how do we make sure that we show up authentically, and
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experience our wisdom in a way that helps us, you know, along this journey that we're on
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because I expect I'm only halfway through my journey. You know, 60, it's only halfway through
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and I'm committed to going another 60 years. I love it. Well, you know, the biggest thing
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the biggest bulk of my work, honestly, with my clients is to unmask
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So we develop really smart masks to keep us in the tribe, to keep us safe
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to keep us fed and clothed. And they come up, they develop because we're smart. We need to get
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through a certain situation. The problem is they become a habit. So then we wear these masks. And
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that's when people don't know who we are. And we begin to lose sight of who we truly are. So we are
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invisible at that point, even to ourselves. So it's the unmasking. We have to be conscious of
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who am I actually being? Am I being me or am I being this other part of me, this, like the
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the shelter for the scared one within. Yeah, that's such an important concept that we're talking about today
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I know that you're launching a virtual woman series that begins in just like a couple of weeks, May 18th
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It's based on your signature program, the Authenticity Advantage. And you're also going to have a retreat in September
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So how do people get more information about that? Do they go to your website? They can go to the website
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But right now they can get the most content on Facebook at Authenticity Advantage Women's Series
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I already got it it's up on the screen you are so good platform guys this is
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like the coolest thing I can just pop things up all over the place so I would
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like to say I'm good but it's part of the program so but you are you are a magician you are a total magician which I so appreciate so they can go check this out on your Facebook profile the Authenticity Advantage Woman series right And absolutely And here the other piece
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I love personal conversations. So if anybody's curious, reach out to me
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Send me a message on Facebook. Shoot me an email. It's kat at katwilliford.com
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And I love to get into personal conversations because I feel like that's where transformation comes from
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It's in our conversations. So I'm going to put some comments up
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Betty Ann says, love the idea of getting current with ourselves. Easy to just see ourselves one way and forget that we change and see what's next
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That's a great comment. Thank you, Betty Ann. And let's see what else we have
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We have a comment. We've got April here. Love this conversation. Yeah, these conversations that we've been having week after week after week are making a difference
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They're making a difference in so many people's lives. And I want to take a moment right now to thank you all because we are getting some amazing stories
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You're sending me your stories. And just as a heads up, we're going to be doing some live shows with all of you
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We're going to invite you to come on with us, share your little white live story, because this is what it's about
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It's a community. It's not about me. It's not about Kat. It's about us
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We are an us. So I want to make sure that you can go check out Kat as well on Twitter at Kat Williford
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You can check her out on her site, www.katwilliford.com. Any last comments that you want to share with our community before we say goodbye
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I would. You know, I am a big fan of vulnerability, which is why when I saw what you were doing
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with this little white lie, I got so excited because it is vulnerable to expose our truths
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And, you know, I think the more we step into our vulnerability, the more powerful we become
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And the more we realize how strong we really are, how resilient we really are
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And that's one of the big things, like the big white lie I walked around with for so long was that I could do it all
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I needed to control and I didn't ask for help. I mean, I had to get ill three separate times to get the lesson
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so my big tip for you right now is whatever your body is telling you pay attention your body is
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carrying it whether it's weight headaches me i get the migraines when i'm too when i let stress
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build up too much and try and have to do too much so pay attention to your body and what it's telling
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you so we've got some comments uh kat i use your authenticity advantage cards daily and also my
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yoga classes. You've got some huge fans out there, which is, I love that. I'm just, I'm so glad that
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you had some time to join us today. And we would just want to remind you that, you know, make
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comments in the chat, share out the video, share out your comments and put the hashtag little white
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lie, because that way we can track all these comments because we want to invite you to join
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us. And the best and easiest way for us to do that short of going into each and every single
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social media platform and doing a search, I can go on Google and just put hashtag little white lie
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and all of your comments are going to show up. So make sure you do that. Kat, I want to thank you
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from the bottom of my heart for being with us today. This is such a great conversation. We only
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touched on the surface. We'll invite you to come back later on in the year so that we can continue
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the conversation. I want to thank all of our viewers. We know that you have a choice as to
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how to spend your time. And we want to thank you for spending your time with us today. So we'll see
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you next week on the next episode of the little white lie. Goodbye, everyone
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