Up next in 10
The Things We Think About
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Dec 14, 2022
Sometimes you just need to sit back and think about things. On today's show, we discuss how our pasts shape the future, how to feel appreciation and more. #appreciation #housevshome #pastpresentfuture All interviews are for informational purposes only and are educational in nature. Any health advice discussed in this show/podcast is not intended to treat disease and should be discussed with your doctor prior to implementing. 📌 Subscribe to Caren's Channel: https://YouTube.com/@carenglasser 📌 Subscribe to Rob's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@officialrobglasser Watch all shows on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3VStXU3 Follow Caren on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/carenglasserlive Follow Caren on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/carenglasser Check out the AlteredUniverseLive store to pick up some cool swag: https://www.altereduniverse.live/shop Don't forget to download a free copy of our eBook "Finding Your Passion": http://www.mindingyourmentalhealth.com
View Video Transcript
0:01
hello everyone Karen Glasser here and
0:04
welcome to minding your mental health
0:05
I'm here with my son and co-host Rob
0:08
Glasser good morning Rob
0:10
good morning I think it's actually it's
0:14
afternoon good afternoon uh we talk
0:16
about the topics that shape mental
0:18
health today we teach the importance of
0:20
inclusion and share why we should be
0:22
kind so whether you're here live or on
0:24
replay doesn't matter we love you make
0:27
sure you tell us in the comments below
0:29
where you're tuning in from so today's
0:31
topic we it's the things we think about
0:34
because I I don't know about you rob my
0:37
head is always thinking my mind is
0:39
always going
0:40
so what are we talking about today in
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terms of the things that we talk about
0:45
all right so I put it in perspective
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these are things about life different
0:49
aspects of life that are probably
0:51
important well not probably very
0:53
important to think about as you go
0:56
throughout your day so Psychology today
0:59
one of my favorite websites and the
1:01
author of this blog is artmarkman PhD he
1:06
has a whole blog called ulterior motives
1:07
all about different things about the
1:09
mind and ways to do
1:13
um how different things shape it and in
1:16
this particular blog it's titled your
1:17
view of the future shaped by the past
1:19
the Future Has ways of surprising us
1:23
um so he starts off by saying it seems
1:25
easy to think about what you will be
1:27
doing next week in January your life
1:29
next week feels like it'll be a lot like
1:31
this week you'll have the same friend
1:33
same job same home the distant future
1:36
however he says is a bit murkier it's
1:38
hard to picture where you'll be living
1:39
what you'll be doing and who you'll be
1:42
spending that time with
1:45
um how do you envision the future this
1:47
question was explored in a paper in the
1:49
August 2011 issue of memory cognition by
1:51
Kathleen Arnold Kathleen McDermott and
1:54
cross
1:55
bunart I apologize if I screwed that one
1:57
up uh they point out at the beginning by
2:00
saying that your ability to Envision the
2:01
future is strongly influenced by your
2:03
memory for not of for the past that is
2:08
you tend to use memories of past
2:10
experiences to predict what your life
2:12
will be like in the future now
2:14
one book that I've talked about I've
2:16
read here about regression therapy many
2:20
people aren't a fan of that because they
2:22
feel that therapists and psychiatrists
2:23
use that might actually skew what your
2:26
memory is however if you're like me and
2:29
you're obsessed with trying to figure
2:30
out what the hell happened to you when
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you were 10 years old
2:33
it is interesting to think how who and
2:37
why for that matter
2:39
your thoughts are what they are
2:42
I can tell you things that happen when I
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random moments no particular reasoning
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but I can't begin to tell you why or how
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they might have happened so
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for my first question to you on this one
2:58
is it possible that your brain my brain
3:01
other people's brains could be skewing
3:04
by itself because you might not remember
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the whole
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shebang so to speak that might have
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actually happened
3:14
my answer is yes that is quite possible
3:17
now talking with multiple different
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people on this
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and reading
3:22
your brain is a funky little organ that
3:25
you got it can be the best it could be
3:28
the worst but either way it tends to do
3:31
things more than it should
3:33
which usually ends up wrong
3:36
because of the of the inability of how
3:40
you propose it now the difference being
3:43
here is if you read a book or you study
3:45
something that's pretty common knowledge
3:47
so to speak however when somebody asks
3:51
you for your opinion or to be creative
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all that goes out the window
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because there is no right answer right
3:58
there is no correct answer
4:03
um I don't know if you want a minute to
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just kind of talk
4:06
yeah no I mean I don't know what the
4:08
right answer for that is we remember
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what we remember right
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well they continue by saying it's easier
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for your memories when the future you're
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predicting is close versus when the
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future you're predicting is let's say
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years down the line right chances are
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you have experienced many specific
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locations and events that are like ones
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you will encounter again right or for
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those with the past live type of deal
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you might have been doing something that
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you never knew you did but when you get
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to that you might go hey this seems
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familiar even if you might have never
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done it another study that they said
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demonstrated that's possible to make
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more specific predictions by imagining
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that future in a familiar area versus an
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unfamiliar so many times you've said to
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me or others said to me when you're
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thinking what you want to do put it
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introspective of what you're doing and
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it is a little bit easier because when
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you already know what you're doing now
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you can kind of put yourself in a
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placement more or less
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our brain our brain operates everything
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in the present so if you if if you go
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out of your way to say I am experiencing
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happiness your brain goes yeah you it's
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it's I am right now in the present
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rather than I will feel you know in 10
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years from now I'm going to be happy or
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I'm going to do what brain and then by
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saying why does this matter it matters
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because in order to do something you
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have to Envision and plan what you want
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to do so whatever the future itself is
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actually doing really has minor
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difference to you because for the most
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part as cliche as it sounds it's really
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up to you to pick and choose what you'd
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like to happen
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for that
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while knowing that there are many
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outstanding situations that you don't
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know about and you just have to kind of
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so to speak roll with the punches as
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things go it's a real interesting
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article it is it's very and I'm going to
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jump in because a different take on the
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whole past present and future uh this
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gentleman by the name of vision lakiani
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he is the founder of Mindvalley he wrote
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this book called six phase meditation
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method and specifically he talks about
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the happiness Gap and he talks about the
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Ford Gap from present to the Future when
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we go I'm I'll be happy when or I'll be
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happy when this happens and but it's
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you're you can never reach it because
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you're you're always it's the next thing
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that's gonna make you happy he talks
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about the reverse Gap where and he talks
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about the past leading to the present so
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on your I'm going to Riff on what that
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article talked about in terms of the
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past but it's focusing more on look at
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how much I've done and look at how far
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I've come
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and focusing on what you have rather
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than what you don't have and when we
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tend to talk about the future we're
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thinking about what we want to have
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right and what we want to get to so it's
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I think it's a different a slightly
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different way to look at the whole past
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present and future but since the article
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was your view the future is shaped by
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the past and in fact it's feeling proud
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about what you did so in your past Rob
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when you talk about when you're 10 years
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old and you remember you know fleeting
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things
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um
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it is what has shaped your past you know
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and whether whether we understand what
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it's done and how it's done it
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um by just flipping the mindset and
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saying look at how far I've come
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I'm not sure why but look at how far
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I've come and so I really like this guy
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and I encourage um you know our viewers
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to go take a look at this book it's
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really cool the six phases uh meditation
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method so that's my my
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I
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definitely think it's more interesting
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how the uh brain works on it and how it
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is important to think of all the little
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things whether they happen or not but
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it's the brain that kind of shapes how
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you do what you do
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now the second part here I gotta take a
8:12
breath in between my sentences the
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second part here
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um is there something you need to be
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appreciative well funny I mean I don't
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know I I actually I don't know because
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no matter what I typed into Google for
8:24
that question I got nothing so as good
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as Google is they can't answer that
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question however what I did continuously
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come across is multiple articles about
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simple things uh Mike Robbins is the guy
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that I popped on he is a motivational
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speaker I don't think he's in relation
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to Tony but he does do the same thing as
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Tony Robbins does motivation some of his
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clients are people like Google Schwab
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LinkedIn Wells Fargo and more so he
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knows what he's talking about when he's
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talking about stuff
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he says do you take time to appreciate
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the simple things and how did he learn
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um so he said sadly we often don't
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appreciate the simple things until they
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are threatened and packing or taken away
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which is all too often occurring
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sometimes people don't realize how
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important the things are until it's too
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late it's kind of like that song You
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Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone I
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think that was Janet Jackson I'm not
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sure how I know that
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um think of all the simple and not so
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simple things that we weren't or still
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aren't able to do this was obviously
9:23
written during the pandemic and how much
9:24
impact this has on our perspective
9:27
in a book that he recommends by Ilan
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Shamir called a thousand things and went
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right today it's all about this
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phenomenon the book invites readers take
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a look at little things humorously it
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highlights the importance of
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appreciation focus on positivity and
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instead of the negativity that we
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usually see social media I'm sorry I had
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to do that
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um
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so two ways that he says are easy to do
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this one be easily impressed it's kind
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of like when you're a baby and
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everything looks like it's amazing it's
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like bubbles wow
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um he says look for the good stuff
10:04
appreciate Small Miracles focus on
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fantastic aspects of people and
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situations and let go of things like I
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already knew that I've seen it all no
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big deal
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which I don't know if that's funny or
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not but it probably shouldn't be
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um when we're hard to impress it makes
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it easier to be happy grateful fulfilled
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and those are fundamental parts of a
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happy life right number two be hard to
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offend so on the same aspect of being
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easy to amaze make it hard to get
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offended now he uses the word trigger
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apparently triggers use multiple but he
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says what are the things that really get
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your goat so to speak
10:48
don't think about it easier said than
10:50
done but basically don't let those
10:53
forces into your room I talked uh this
10:56
morning on my session you know my
10:57
therapist is asking how I deal with
10:59
people who watch or don't watch or who
11:01
want me to do things on my podcast that
11:02
I don't do I tell them flat out no I
11:06
don't want to and if you don't want to
11:08
watch I don't really care I'm looking
11:10
for the people that come back on replay
11:12
and watch me regularly because yes I
11:15
know the idea of building people is to
11:17
get them to come but if somebody's
11:20
looking to you for something that's not
11:21
up your niche
11:23
it's not really my fault it's not on me
11:26
so if they want to watch something
11:27
differently and go hey check out this
11:29
guy he does that or she does that so
11:32
that's the kind of thing you look at the
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positive of the negative and instead of
11:36
letting it drag you you just go hey you
11:40
don't like it
11:41
cool beans go do something else instead
11:43
you know like do you know read a book
11:46
but those are the two aspects he says
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make things so surprising that you're
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just astonished and on the flip side
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when something comes up that you might
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not like
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twist it to your
11:58
own positivity I guess
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was it Einstein that says look at life
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as if
12:06
everything is a miracle if there's a
12:09
there's a quote sounds like something
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like this I'm actually God you're gonna
12:14
look that up yeah all right
12:15
um now he says an actionable idea right
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now is appreciate the simple things in
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the moment
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um write them down uh speak them call
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somebody tell them take a photo whatever
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it is oh you found it there you go uh
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there are only two ways to live your
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life one is though nothing is a miracle
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the other is everything yeah there you
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go so really what this guy is saying and
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he talks about you know the gratefulness
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as well
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I don't know if you need something to
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appreciate
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but you need something to appreciate if
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you get my drift
12:51
um appreciation just like gratitude
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we've talked about before I don't think
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it's a learner thing I think it's
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something you figure out as you go you
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know you can't teach it to me other
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people can't teach it to me I just kind
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of woke up one morning and said hey
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I like to think of things like that
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right but
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while you are appreciating things look
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at everything as importance you might
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come to find that you'll make a better
13:16
habit of the important things but until
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you get there the grass the trees the
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squirrel it doesn't matter it's all cool
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it's all relevant so to speak right and
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it's all fun it's a great way to be it's
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a great way it's a great way to be now
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this last one I've been looking forward
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to and really to this day I don't know
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if I have the feeling of this yet
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because I think the difference between
13:39
the two words is prominent but from the
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PS Group which is actually a realtor
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company so if anyone's gonna write a
13:46
story or a Blog about homes it's them
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they wrote what's in between a home and
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a house
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they start off you can actually listen
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to this blog as well it's only four
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minutes long it's a very short article
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they said have you ever wondered what
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the difference is between a home and a
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house although the terms you use
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interchangeably they mean significantly
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different things and in the article they
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talk about it the top three things
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dictionary
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the dictionary says a house a building
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for human habitation especially one that
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consists of a ground floor and one or
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more upper stories I'd say it does have
14:21
to be human right you could build a home
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for like your dog and your cat right and
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trust me I've seen a triple story dog
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houses and cat houses too a home however
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dictionary wise defined as the place
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where one lives permanently especially
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as a member of a family or household so
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off the bat the dictionary does give you
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a very good definition the house is the
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noun it's the thing it's what the
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construction workers create for you it's
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what you go into that's your house the
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home
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is your living quarters your
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headquarters so to speak it's where you
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live right whether it's Solo or
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household
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context is their second difference when
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you refer to some place as a house you
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refer to the building or structure that
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is physically there
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however when you refer to a home you're
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talking about where you and your family
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are living so again words context makes
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a big difference I'm not just saying
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that because you know Krista is the
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writer in the house but it is a big
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difference contextually
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lastly emotional gaps the difference
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between home and house is factually my
15:33
new but philosophically huge when people
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talk about making a house a home they
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want to convert the physical space into
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one where they feel safe comfortable and
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loved it gives me into just the flat or
15:48
apartment and it makes it belong to you
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right now I'll stop here this is kind of
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where renter versus buy I think I
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haven't fully found the home so to speak
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because everything I've been in is
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somebody else's and while I'm here for
16:02
the moment and I'm here for the time
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being and I'm making it a home
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it's not really a home in the sense of
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home because it's not owned by me it's
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not my own physical thing and I think my
16:13
definition of a home is something that I
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can say I earned or made permanently
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that's just my definition personally
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however as we've talked about off-screen
16:23
making a place homely for the time being
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is just as important until you find your
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final spot to you know put your butt on
16:34
the couch and be
16:36
physically and mentally there
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um let's see houses can be different
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sizes and shapes but a home is what you
16:45
feel so it could be large it could be
16:48
small but the home is the same
16:52
um what else for example you can say
16:53
your friend bought a house or that a
16:56
builder is developing a house but you
16:58
welcome people to the home or you talk
17:00
about your childhood at home there you
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go lastly they just finished up by
17:05
saying what makes the difference so home
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is somewhere like they said where you
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feel comfortable and you feel like you
17:11
belong it's Refuge from the world thus
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to make a house a home you have to make
17:16
a space comfortable and make it feel
17:17
like yours they say home is where the
17:20
heart is this can mean many things it's
17:23
a place to make memories where you feel
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free and can be themselves I say that
17:28
it's the place where you can go back
17:29
from after being outside to actually
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feel safe and comfortable after dealing
17:35
with what you're dealing with in the
17:37
real world
17:38
but it's an interesting thought isn't it
17:39
and they you know the rest of the
17:41
article goes on to basically kind of
17:43
repeating the same thing but really it's
17:45
the difference between the physical
17:46
entity and the feeling entity of what it
17:50
is
17:51
anything can be made homely or home-like
17:55
but not every place is a home every
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place on the contrary though is a house
18:01
for the shared definition of four walls
18:04
a base in the top make a house though as
18:09
I'm saying that that could also be a
18:10
building that could also be other things
18:13
so really Four Walls of Base in the top
18:15
isn't necessarily a house either
18:18
but there still is the differentiating
18:21
between the two words
18:23
um and this is the stuff that we think
18:25
about at least I think about
18:27
um and there's there was a song that
18:29
came out in the I think the 60s Dion
18:32
Warwick was called A House Is Not a Home
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okay it's somebody living there a chair
18:38
is not a chair unless somebody's sitting
18:40
there and it's the whole idea that
18:42
unless until you have the experience of
18:44
being in or on or at it it's simply the
18:48
inanimate inanimate inanimate object say
18:52
that five times fast it's it's just
18:54
simply a thing until you put the
18:56
experience with it so I'm 100 agreement
18:58
with you
19:00
um great conversation if you're tuning
19:02
in live let us know what you think
19:05
um and if you are here on a replay we'd
19:09
love to hear what you think as well uh
19:11
make sure that you I'm gonna put some
19:14
links up here
19:16
um if you are looking for some support
19:18
and some help right now you can check
19:20
out NIMH it's the government body on
19:23
Mental Health you can also check out
19:25
Nanny
19:26
um which is also a great website gives
19:28
you all sorts of resources and finally
19:31
988 if you are looking right now you
19:34
need somebody to talk to please go ahead
19:37
and just dial that 988 they will connect
19:39
you with the
19:41
um the the area that you live in and
19:43
somebody will be there to help
19:45
go out give somebody an awesome day and
19:50
we will see you next time on the next
19:52
episode of minding your mental health
19:55
goodbye everyone