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Thriving Through Divorce!
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Nov 6, 2019
Caren Glasser goes live with Positive Aging Coach Lori Kleiman on this Super Boomer Lifestyle Show! #superboomer™ Check out more shows here: https://carenglasser.com/live/ Follow us on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/carenglasser Follow us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/carenglasserlive Follow us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/carenglasser #divorce #positiveaging #thrivingthroughdivorce My Direct Links, Programs and Equipment I use for my Shows and Promotion: BeLive: http://bit.ly/3p7E0DB Get Your Book In Front Of Thousands of Potential Buyers! https://bit.ly/2HJ38Qu Logitech HD Pro Webcam: https://amzn.to/362BuXP Wired Earbuds with Microphone: http://amzn.to/3p1pmOi Lavalier Lapel Microphone: http://amzn.to/3p9EFVo Blue Yeti USB Mic: https://amzn.to/395hExi ATR2100-USB Cardioid Dynamic Microphone: http://amzn.to/3qzEy5A LED Video Light Kit: http://amzn.to/360Qg1w Neewer Ring Light Kit: http://amzn.to/392bON2
View Video Transcript
0:00
Hello, everyone. Karen Glasser here, and welcome to the Super Boomer Lifestyle Show, brought
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to you by the superboomerlifestyle.com. It's your one-stop shop for brands that we know
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you will love. Today, we are welcoming positive aging and divorce coach Lori Kleiman to the
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show, and today's topic is thriving through divorce. We are so happy that you're here
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If you're here live, make sure that you tell us you're here live. Put that I'm here live down in the comments
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If you're here on replay, just as good. Put replay down there, and we will make sure to come back and comment
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Every single week we do shows like this, and this week is no, no exception
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And today our Super Boomer Pick of the Week, because we like to do that
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is our really cool slogan T-shirt wear. And so we've got this really cool slouchy top and it says fearless and super boomer
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And we have all sorts of different ones in the super boomer lifestyle store. And you can get trouble
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You can get fearless. You can get feisty, depending on how you show up in the world
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Today we have an amazing guest. We have Lori Kleiman on with us today
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I'm just going to give a little brief little introduction while she's sitting there and smiling
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Lori has worked for the past nine years coaching women one-on-one and facilitating workshops
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And as a positive aging and divorce coach, Lori is helping women all over the world who are struggling with some aspect of aging
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She has embodied a bold, adventurous life while adopting what she calls a modern minimalist lifestyle
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which we're going to talk about because I'm all about the minimalism. and she feels her attitude has everything to do with living aligned with what she values most in life
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So, Lori, welcome to the show. Hi, Karen. I'm so happy to be here with you today
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Well, I am really, really happy to see you. You know, this is the show where we talk with super boomers all over the world
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and you are a super boomer on so many levels. I love the topic that we're talking about today, thriving through divorce
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you know we've talked about this a lot and we're going to talk about an organization that you have
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recently gotten involved with but before we do that we're going to go to the question I like to
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ask all my guests and I'm going to answer it first myself and that is how do you describe
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a super boomer well I describe a super boomer by not being defined by their age but rather being
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defined how they show up in life. So I ask you, Lori Kleiman, how do you describe a super boomer
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Well, Karen, I describe a super boomer as a man or woman who is embracing life as we get older
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really tapping into all the wisdom and experience that we have, add in a little bit of adventure
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seeking and taking some different roads than maybe we took earlier to inform the next great chapter
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That's a super boomer to me. Well, I think that's a very, very good explanation
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And all of us, our viewers, whether you're live or in replay, let us know what you think
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a super boomer is. How do super boomers show up? Are you a super boomer
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Let us know because I love to meet super boomers. Make sure you make a comment
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down below. So today we are talking about thriving through divorce. And I really like this topic
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because I've been divorced, you know, and it's a near and dear topic to me. But we're talking about
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thriving through divorce. So what does that exactly mean? How do you thrive through divorce
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Because sometimes it's the most challenging time, not sometimes, it's a challenging time
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in one's life. So how do you thrive? Great. Well, you know, Karen, divorce, there's no way around
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the pain and the difficulty of divorce. Under any circumstance, that's there
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When we talk about thriving through divorce, it's really being able to tap into support
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to develop some coping strategies, mindset strategies, to shift the perspective and to shift our experience
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You know, we can't control what is happening with our spouse. We can't control what is going on around us
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But what we do have control over is our own experience and how we respond and react to what's happening
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And that's kind of it. And I think that's so right. I think that with most things in life, it's how we react
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It's what we do with what has happened. So you have joined forces with an organization called Vesta
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And tell us a little bit about Vesta and tell us why now. Why is this so important now
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and and I know we have an event that's happening tonight too and we'll talk about that okay okay
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great so there's so much to talk about so all right so I have aligned um with a platform Vesta
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Divorce and Vesta Divorce uh was uh founded by this wonderful woman Deanna Coyle um in Massachusetts
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They began, I think it's about six years now. And it is a platform of professionals in the legal, financial, real estate, mortgage, and emotional therapists and coaches who come together to support folks who are considering going through or post-divorce
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Now, what makes VESPA so unique is that these professionals who are, I will tell you, extremely vetted, all come together with not only expertise in working with people going through divorce, but most of us have been impacted by divorce, either personally or in our families
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and have a desire to really to help people who are going through this
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And so what happens is you have this group of people who are working collaboratively
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and it provides the most supported environment in which to educate and connect and empower people
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And that's important. That is so important because the time that you're probably the lowest in your life or part of maybe one of the lowest in life, you need that support
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I know I needed that support and I didn't know where to go. Oh, exactly
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And in fact, Deanna Coyle will talks about her motivation to start
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This is going through her own divorce and seeing that there was no support
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And you know you go through this time and it is has a huge impact on us emotionally financially and you know in every which way And most people they they don really know where to go to get the right help Now what I am extremely excited about so many things with Vesta but what I love so much
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is that we provide a place for people to come and to be supported by all these professionals
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in one place. And so there are various events that will happen through the month
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and they are all free, Karen. So tonight is- There's one tonight
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There's one tonight. I love the name, Lori. I love the name. Divorce Boot Camp
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Divorce Boot Camp. I love it. And it's in Pasadena tonight. So tell us a little bit about
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what that's going to be about. And I'm sure that if people want to go
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they can check out your Facebook page, which I'm going to put up while you're talking about this
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Okay, great. So we I am part of the Pasadena hub. There are there they have had great success in Massachusetts area and have just introduced this to Southern California, which is so exciting
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And so all of these, all of our hubs are unrolling in these last couple weeks
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And I am part of the Pasadena hub. So our event will be in Pasadena
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Our events will all be in Pasadena. If you go to my Facebook link, the tickets for these events, they're all free
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that they can be, you know, you can sign up through Eventbrite
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and you will see that on my Facebook. So we're going to suggest that they go over to Lori Kleiman Life Coach on Facebook
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and he'll be there, so they have to reserve. Yes, thank you
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We do need to know who you are and who's coming. So tonight is our first event in Pasadena
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Now we have Divorce Boot Camp. We're going to have resource evenings where where people can just come and they can talk to any of the professionals
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And we're all there to just kind of help and support and guide
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And then and then we're going to have, you know, specific workshops
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I'm very excited because I'll be doing some post divorce workshops on dating and relationships
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And so I'm really super excited about that. Guys, you want to plug in if you're going through divorce or you might be going through divorce or you just go, you know, see what this is all about
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Make sure you check out the Facebook page so you can make a reservation
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So, you know, I've read a lot of materials and stuff that you have put out there and stuff about you that's out there
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And you believe that this is the best time of our lives. I believe that, too
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um but you you say in in saying that that so many people are struggling when they get to this point
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what is it about the struggle as we get to that certain age whatever that age is what exactly is
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the struggle and why why do we struggle so much what's the root of all that right okay great
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question. And so when I'm thinking about struggle, and we're talking about that
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initially, I tap into my hat of positive age advocate and coach. And yet, as I'm listening
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to you, I'm also struck that it actually really is cross the board in every place. So I think that
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that for so many of us struggle comes from simply not accepting the realities of what is right now
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And if we're talking about if we're talking about getting older, that I that I like to talk about how often has to do with initially how we feel about the physical changes that we start seeing on our face and our bodies
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Our hair, the pain and all of that. And so often men and women get fixated on that. And what happens is it tends to make us go smaller. And we we you know, we go we go in and we get more focused on actually the actually
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we get focused on what's happening on the outside and then it shuts us off from the richness of life
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I, you know, I like to tell the story of when I first started letting the hair go
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I went to Las Vegas and I used to go to Las Vegas all the time
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And I wear my little short, little sexy skirts and my high heels. And, you know, I just thought I was it
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And then I was growing my hair out and I went to Vegas and I literally stayed in the hotel room the entire weekend
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because I didn't feel like I fit in anymore because here I was this semi gray haired lady
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because I was so focused just as you're saying on the outside rather than I was still the same
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person on the inside and that was better and that was a that was actually a tipping point for me so
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it's fascinating that you're saying that is that we I agree with you we totally get focused on
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things that we should be focused on the inside rather than you know out there yeah yes and and
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thank you. That had to have been a very interesting experience in that transition
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And, you know, but the thing is, is that what strikes me about you sharing that is that you
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still made this bold decision and it's beautiful and it is absolutely speaks to you showing up
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most authentically. So. Absolutely. And it also, I have noticed with this in particular that
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I'm fearless and, but I just don't care anymore what other people think about the outside of me
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I care about people wanting, about people knowing who I am on the inside, but I certainly do not
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care if somebody's going to have an opinion about what my hair looks like or my makeup
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or I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't do that. I mean, you can get me on my soapbox and I will go
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on forever. But I think this whole thing has become an, and I don't care. This has been, um
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just life affirming. It's been life changing actually. And so you're saying that that's
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we get to that point, right? Yes. Well, some of us do. And I love that you, I love the way you
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talked about that. Some of us do. And what, what happens and what I am focused on and loving is
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working with people around tapping into really using our wisdom, our experience, and to inform
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a different mindset and to begin to channel all of that in a different way. And I think that
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when we're talking about divorce that you know listen that that struggle that's a struggle in
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many different areas and a different way and yeah and so yeah I mean I not sure exactly which where where we going to go with that Yeah I mean struggle is struggle I mean any place and specifically we talking about divorce and we talking about aging and we talking about the things that happen to us as we get older
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And then that struggle just sets in. Right. So we've known each other a lot of years, and we have reconnected in the recent past because we're in the same field at this point, and we're talking to the same people
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And I am fascinated by your lifestyle. You talk about living a minimalist life, a modern minimalist life
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I know what minimalism, I can't say it, minimalism means to me, and I'm all about it
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I don't like clutter. I like clean, simple. If I haven't worn it in a year, I'm not ever going to wear it again
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You only need so many clothes in your closet because you only have so many days. That's me
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I know this is even more for you because you're moving into a new place tomorrow
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I'm being careful how I say this, Lori. So how about you describe? I like to describe you as a digital nomad because you can work from anywhere
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And in fact, you have been moving around quite a bit. Tell us a little bit about that lifestyle
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Okay. Oh, boy. All right. So, well, I actually have the last few months been in a temporary situation, really kind of exploring where I wanted to go next
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And I had options. And I am making a home tomorrow. And in fact, one that I plan to really grow some roots in
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So I'm extremely excited and interesting and having to do with my attitude at this time of life
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I'm going to an area that I love very much, have spent a lot of time, but never, ever considered living in
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Interestingly, I say this place that I'm going into kind of called me in
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and um and i think it has to do with me being very open to you know what the next kinds of
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place in my life is so i'd like to ask um people of our age um if you could go back
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yeah to 20 years old would you and if you wouldn't what would you tell that 20 year old
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person that if they knew then what you now know, it would change the way they approach life. So
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would you go back? Number one, would you go back? Absolutely not. No, never. No, no, no. And I
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I love this question and I've never been asked this. And I know that the first thing that comes
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up for me when I think about what I would say to my younger self, take more risks
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yes yep 100 take more risks that would be that's it and that covers a lot I mean and and I'm going
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to piggyback on that so in taking more risks sometimes your gut tells you certain things so
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one of the things that I first thing that can happen if I do that right and then I ask myself
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the second question can you live with that result and if I can I do it so as a 20 year old 30
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year old, 40 year old, you know, take the risk, step into the fear, do it anyway. Right. Right
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And so that's what I would tell my 20 year old self. But what I'll tell you now is that
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my journey getting to where I am right now has been exactly the way it was, it's supposed to be
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And every single experience I've had and how it's unfolded has been absolutely perfect because it
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brings me to where I am right now. So, yeah. And, uh, and that is part of, um, you know, I live
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feel, I live feeling very free and kind of open to, you know, open. Yeah. I love that about you
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I love that. And when I knew you way back when, um, you, you're a different person
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you're a totally different person. And I, and I love that. And I think that, um, women such as
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like us are giving permission to other women like us. Right. To do it
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just do it. Do it anyways. If you're tuning in guys, we're talking to Lori Kleiman
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She is a positive aging and divorce coach. She works with an organization called Vesta divorce
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right? Vesta divorce. And there's an event tonight called the Vesta divorce bootcamp in Pasadena
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And you can check out how to get, it's free, but you want, you might have to make a reservation
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So you can check out how to do that if you're in the Pasadena area by going to Lori's Facebook account
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And that's Lori Klyman Life Coach. That's her page. And you can go ahead and reserve a spot
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What's a tip? What tip can you share right now with our listeners that if they were to put it into action, they would see immediately a little shift
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What tip can you share with somebody? Oh, my gosh. OK, that that's that's tough, because I I know we are like almost out of time and I'm wanting to go back and and delve into places that we were
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And, you know, before I leave you so delve ahead. OK. OK
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You know what? Can I just circle back? Can we circle back to that? If you don't mind, I wanted to just make sure that I that I just kind of
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Well, a few things. Go for it. First of all, I wanted to answer the why now for my work with people going through divorce
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Because I was never really, I was never drawn. I mean, I've worked with many clients going through divorce
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But in terms of it being something that I would specialize in, I really wasn't drawn to that
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And I think some of it had to do with my own experience. And even though it was good, somehow I felt like that had to be kept private
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Like I couldn't work in that area if it was something I'd experienced
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And I think that you and I have a whole other show on our actual personal experience with
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divorce because Karen and I share some interesting life events. Similarities. Similarities
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Yeah. So, so I felt that way. And yet I had a unique divorce in that my former husband and I were able to partner together for the good of our family and our children
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And this doesn't it's not that there were not challenges and struggles, but we were able to do this
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And over 12 years out, we have this beautiful modern family and have both thrived in our lives
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Now what informs this passion now is that I really believe that the reason we were able to do that had everything to do with making a conscious decision that we were going to have respect for one another We were going to honor what we had We were going to do we were going to remember that our children
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were not making this choice. And I think that people have a hard time doing that because they
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get very involved in the emotional, the turmoil. And I know that there are strategies and tools
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and help. And so I feel like, like I, I feel like I have to be of service this way. Like I
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it's just something that's, it's so, so, you know, I, I, I took that even one step further
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As you know, when I got divorced, I literally called my parents and said, I'm getting divorced, but you're not with my soon-to-be ex-husband
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I would love it if you would maintain a relationship with him because that's important to me
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And, you know, fast forward it, people that know my story, we actually ended up getting remarried, right
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But it's the same thing. It's an effort. It's not something that you just, it's just going to happen
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And you have to make a concerned effort and actually make that decision that you are going to have that kind of divorce
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Yes. And and, you know, maybe the situations that you and I have had are not always possible
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But one of the things that the points that I make with everybody is that I it is absolutely possible to have an entirely different experience
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If you take responsibility or and understand that your actions, if you respond and react from your side of the street, not just from the, you know, what's happening
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So, yeah. So I just wanted to. No, I'm glad you circled back and I'm glad you picked that up because it actually is going to become my super boomer moment because that is what you just said right there
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We do have the ability and it is possible to structure how our life happens and specifically how that divorce, how we move through the divorce
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And so those are powerful words. Powerful words. Yeah, good. If you're wondering how to get in touch with Lori, you can actually visit her on her website at www.loriclymanlifecoach.com
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You can also visit her on Instagram. She's got a great presence there, great post that you put up there
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And I know that you're actually you're modeling these days, aren't you? Well, you know what
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That's just kind of a fun thing. That's part of my. No, whatever
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But no, no, I that that that's just a fun little side thing
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It's really that speaks to doing something that's just, you know, kind of representing what life can be like as we get older and embracing, you know, the realities and representing what real real women look like
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Exactly. Well, you're you're a beautiful woman at woman, as are the other women that this this agency is representing
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um and i so i just you you are beautiful and congratulations on that and you can say yeah
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it's just something i'm doing on the side but i am sure that there are a lot of people that
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will be listening to us and saying wow okay that's another another aspect of who you are it's just
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another another um arm of who you are pretty pretty fascinating any last minute thoughts
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you'd like to share with the audience because we're coming to the end unbelievable i know i can't believe it. Well, I do want to just say quickly that one of the something that was really
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important in kind of getting me here is also my 16 month old granddaughter, who when she was born
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had somehow her her birth expanded even further. The way my my view of life. And so, yeah, I really
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credit her with even going bolder after she was born. And so I would say that there is anything
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that we want at our fingertips. And it's all there. Just go after it. Just go after it
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And I am happy to talk with anybody about any of these topics. We didn't even hit minimalism
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And that's what I know. I know. So let's do two minutes on that. Let's do two minutes on that
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What does it mean to be a modern minimalist? OK, I should really say I should really say a that I have my own personal brand of minimalism
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Modern minimalism is that it's defined by my choices. So by design many years ago, I started to connect to the fact that I was much more comfortable
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when I was living in smaller spaces with less stuff around me
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That's kind of it simply. But I really started to understand the connection to having too much around me
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and what that meant in terms of distraction from things that were meaningful
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So I started to simplify my life. And now my life is so simplified that I almost everything I have, there's a use for
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And it makes me feel even freer. My kids will say, hey, mom, do you have something that's from an earlier time in their life
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And the joke is, oh, no, she threw it out. I'm with you
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I'm totally with you on that. Yeah, yeah. I'm I'm with experience and the connection and the memories more than the stuff
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So, yeah, I agree with you. I agree with you. I want to thank you for taking time to be with us on the show today
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I just you have so much to share and we'll invite you back on to do another conversation about maybe really diving into, you know, the stories behind the divorces or something else
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I just want to thank you, though. I'm going to drop you into the green room. We're going to go into the super boomer moment and don't go away because after the show, we'll have a conversation
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Thank you. Thanks, Lori. Thank you. So, guys, isn't she amazing? I mean, there's so much that goes on with Lori Kleiman
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I mean, from working with Vesta Divorce and from the modern minimalism, working with people and the struggle and my super boomer moment today
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So I'm going to go ahead and just solo that. um something that laurie said at the end or almost at the end that she that she wasn't able to say
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earlier because we were just like all over the place it is possible in all situations and and
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we're talking specifically now about divorce but in divorce it's possible to create how that's
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going to look but it does take effort and it does take time but i'm here to tell you guys
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It is worth it because at the end of the day, especially if you have children, but not only with children, it's good for your psyche and it's good for your children to see a healthy, healthy environment
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So, Lori, thank you for that. I really, really appreciate it. I want to thank all of you for joining us as well because we know that you have a choice as to how to spend your time, whether you're here on replay or you're here live
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Either way, we are appreciative that you decided to spend your time with us
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So go out and give someone an awesome day and we'll see you next time on the next episode of the Super Boomer Lifestyle Show
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Goodbye, everyone
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