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but tog refer Ben Winkler and I go undercover and discover what lies beneath as we celebrate the evolved
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woman on today's super boomer lifestyle show the super boomer lifestyle show
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will enhance your lifestyle health empowerment and more hello everyone
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karen Glasser here and welcome to the show this is going to be an amazing show
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today it's season for the premiere episode so here we go we're going to get ready to go live if you're here on
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replay make sure you comment down below because we will make sure to comment
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right back and if you have a question if you have something that you want to share we want to hear about it if you're
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here life even better make sure to comment below and we'll put your comments right up on the screen star in
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a spotlight on you all right my guest today is photographer Ben Winkler his
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face is a silver the world Tertre is about going great silver and white on
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purpose imagine that on purpose along with whatever stage of life that you're in I'm really excited to welcome to the
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show today as we discover what lies beneath and celebrate the evolved woman
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so Ben welcome to the show thank you so much for having me I'm delighted that
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you're here we're gonna be talking about a lot of different things but I like to start my show with and actually a question and that is what defines a
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super boomer so I'm going to actually go first and then I'm gonna throw it over to you I say that super boomers are not
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defined by their age they're defined by how they show up in life get rid of that
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word age Ben how do you define a super boomer well that have an issue with this
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age thing to begin with I mean age is a natural thing it's always been around it's never been that popular and talked
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about as it is today what is it today that's that with all technology and this
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lifestyle and the society that we have we have this gift of not giving up it's
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like hoot anymore you know I have the great honor I have to tone it down a bit
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but it's really about your bucket lists it's about like what do you always want to do finally the
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kids are out of the house you're empty nesters the kids are off to college out of college you get the grandkids whenever you want or for babysitting
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days and the rest of the time what do you want to do with your so-called second act and that's that's really what
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I bring it down to like do the things that when you're under their family deathbed in the last few minutes when
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you say I wish I would have done XYZ yeah all right today exactly and I call
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it your next next so I'm always talking about what am I gonna do next so if
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you're listening right now you're on life tell us how you define a super boomer put it on into the comments and you
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never know I might pop it right up on the on the screen so we're gonna jump right in today we're
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celebrating the evolved woman and you talk a lot about your mission is to
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celebrate the mature evolved woman when all of society is focused on the never ending youth and you know it was funny
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when I read this when you sent this to me the first thing that I said was Oh mature I don't I don't know if I'm
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actually mature I might be older but I'm not sure I'm mature so let's talk a little bit about that what do you mean
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by that when you talk about the mature woman is it it's you just said it's not age so how would you define the mature
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woman I think it is when we when we first sit down and say you know what I'm
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looking back at my life what have I accomplished and the whole the whole family aspect my my career and so on as
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a woman and first now I have the ability to look at it differently to take a step
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back and not be in that 24/7 with kids and job and husband and everything anymore now you can sit back and say
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okay what what do I want to do what's what is the the definition of who I am
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you know it's it that's what it really comes down to I think I I so totally
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resonate with what you're saying you know your your past few years you've been focusing on photo projects that
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that actually seek to introduce beauty and sex appeal into the conversation around women over 50 and one of the
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projects that you have worked on that was actually brought me to you and that you actually brought you to me and I saw
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your photos I've seen you I've been following you actually I think I've been stalking you on Instagram and I've been watching
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these photographs that you have put up and it's called the faces of silver let's talk about that where did that
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come from it's obviously a passion of yours and I'm gonna show some images as you're
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talking about it okay I have to go way back to start for that I think in
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general I was I've always been shooting mid-life enough women mid-life enough this is just a big response this is just
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what's worth response to my work we did another test the other day between men and women silver head man silver had
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women it's a minut percent presented person tile person - yep percentage
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Valerius let's call it percentage out of out of what the response is for women so if I
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go all the way back it's it used to be women midlife and up and then at some
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point somebody said well you're photographing all these great women like it was only a handful of it and I didn't
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really notice it I didn't really see the difference and so I set back I was
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thinking about it I found all these while back then there weren't that many civic groups or gray groups that was
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grazed a new blonde and all those and there's really great work I mean like they are excellent as a support system
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and then I said you know what if I go all the way back my I must have been 13
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14 or something and my mother had had always had a big coffee shop in in Austria like the Viennese type with
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mahogany and marble and like people sit there and just watch everybody it's a pastime it's a social thing and this one
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time I'm sitting I'm standing there and there are three guys sitting at the bar and my mother is behind the bar and she
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walks into the kitchen my mother as long as I remember has always been great only
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once she turned I don't know 40 or 35 there maybe 40 or something she started coloring it into black so it wasn't
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reverse so these guys are sitting there my mother walks into the kitchen and one of these guys says
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well if she's gray up here what do you think she's down there and I'm sitting
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there like ah which lets my hormones you like want to defend the honor of your
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mother and whatever nothing ever happens but I just fought at that point how do
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we have the audacity to judge I tell other people what they should look like what they what how they have to behave
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how they have to dress like you know at this stage in life what does that mean oh my god we're doing an end or
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different section so now you've turned 35 do you think I still can wear a bikini are going oh yeah okay what is
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this well you know what and if you were to go google right now what to wear after 40 X 50 there's gonna be literally
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thousands of articles that are gonna tell us what we should and what we shouldn't do we were talking about my
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story right before we went live and the fact that my mother also was white for as long as I remember when she turned 30
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she went white and when I turned 30 I started turning white nice and huh not doing that because we didn't have a Ben
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Winkler then we didn't trust somebody in in the field telling us it's okay and in
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fact I started coloring my hair and anyone that knows me people that have been watching the show for Four Seasons
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for several years now you saw my hair grow out originally the show was called
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the little white lie and I sat here week after week saying okay it's time for the reveal guys remember that I put my head
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down and now here I am all silver and gray and what I told Ben was if I had to
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do it all over again I would have done it so much earlier do you get that from other women I get that more and more I
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mean a few years ago just two three years ago it was a lot a lot different it was a lot harder and now it's not
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that it has gone mainstream but people accept it more because of these groups that are around on social media social media is really a great help I always
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say silver is just a I call it sale because people call it grey I mean a there are like how many shades of how
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many different shades of grey haired women have you seen I mean there's anything from color don't you steal to so many different shades and it's just
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another color and when I oftentimes when I look at at people's pages when they post
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before-and-after thoughts ago before you were just blending in I would not have noticed you of course I'm tired because
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I work with it and I enjoy it and now you're sticking out your your phages your your facial features your eyes
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everything gets gets highlighted even more you know your your bone structure and everything at least I'm biased but I
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enjoy bringing that out I mean really what is beauty beauty's individuality it
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is it absolutely so the biggest challenge I had been is a as I was going gray was what to do with it because it
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was turning yellow it was like what a mess and and those are the things that you don't even understand or even know
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about until you start doing this so one of the things that people would say well how are you making your hair turn beautifully silver without the yellow
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and without the brown so one of the products that I use guys you can see it up on the screen I use something called blonde uh it's purple guys it's actually
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purple shampoo it smells like blueberries and grapes and you put it on your hair and I
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actually have a picture of me standing there with my hair it looks like a big huge mask or not a mask a hat of purple
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and I'm not sure maybe you're I mean you're the artist I don't know what purple does with with silver to kind of
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tone it down is that an art thing in general right just gives it a more
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bluish hue and do you take that you take the yellow out but my question is if we have all those photographs up here and
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you just described this so perfectly why don't we see a shot of that so I'm gonna end with the purple mask I I should know
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what I'm gonna you got me there I actually am going to show that not today but I will show it I
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think that the person that I have on the screen here is actually Yasmina is that correct can you see her here yes and Jasmina the
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reason why I'm putting her up here particularly she's one of the beautiful models but she's also a photographer herself and she is the one who took your picture
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the one that I've been using in all of the promotions and I wanted to give her a shout out for that reason because all
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of us who are in this creative field we sometimes don't get our name shouted out and somebody borrows our work and I
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don't want to be that person and that is why I'm giving her a shout out right now because she's phenomenal in the picture
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she did for you but she's phenomenal herself she herself is absolutely gorgeous I want to run
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through some of these I know that you can see them do you have any stories on any of these that you want to share
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these are they're all different people here what do you probably see it from the
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get-go is that I have a love for black and white I'm old school like no matter of T that like the black room tastes the
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dark room taste and I think black and white just features the subject more or
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highlights what we really want to show with these most of them I wanted to
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portray especially the black and white ones a moody you know a different viewpoint than the regular frontal on or the
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regular headshot kind of creates a mood greed some drama shows some of their
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features like this one that you have up right now amazing lady from New York what struck me when I saw it was her
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tattoo on her wrist that's coffee that coffee cup i think is or see of bangle i
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want to see your coffee cup and i want to see your bone structure she's got this amazing bones returning stunning
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and that's what we came up with you know each each and every one has something
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different and i'm trying to find that and highlight that so how do people find you I mean if if somebody like me or
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someone else who's growing their hair out and now they have silver hair and they are empowered and and because we
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talked about this I think it's actually the reverse those of us who have done this and of seeing what's happened we're empowered we show up in a way that says
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don't mess with me don't tell me what to do I like the way I look so when people
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approach you and say I would like to hire you and I want to do a photo shoot do they get shy I mean what happens how
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does how do they get to you and how does that session actually go so in general I
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would say out of all the women I've photographed about 5% that models the
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rest 95% are regular and read a housewife's business women whatever mothers when
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they show up the old terrified my neck if they have not they're like okay and
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if in the first 20 minutes or so it's just you know the whole thing turns around I always tell them well the first 20 shots the filters
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50 shots is just okay I'm testing my lighting I'm seeing how what are your features what are your a better sight
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what is what is the better side it's 1:00 and live in 20 shots 20 minutes
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something like that they are they are down to as relaxed as could be and we're just having a blast for the rest of the
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session I love that those of you who are watching live right now and even on replay if you have silver hair white
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hair gray hair whatever you want to call it let us know and tell us what it has been like to show up in the world with
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your hair the way it is and showing up powerfully I mean I watched one of the pro aged woman I think her name is Mary
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Mary she's gonna be on the show in a couple of weeks Shane it has these amazing fatah you know photographs out
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there of women who are actually of a certain age but us it's it's us the empowered super boomers and these women
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are phenomenal and I think that there is a transition right now in our media
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there are more and more of us would you agree that are coming out and saying look at me I think it's not just working
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out in this particular cases there's more to silver but in general overall there's more of this ages and movement
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or whatever anti-aging whatever everybody calls it something else don't get me started on anti-aging because what the heck is that what does that
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mean and then you're taking current and you're taking creams facial creams and
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and hair shampoos and whatever and you put it on a 20 year old and tell me how a gray-haired lady should go and what
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eat what she should look like and what you should use how how does that make sense now I lost my thread what was that
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silver haired ladies we're showing up now there's more of us who are doing this and yes ageism it's it's that age
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in particular I think with if we go 20 years back 50 years back you would
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rather have been boxed in within your community your family your great grand
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or family around you and if you would have to follow okay what did your mother your grandmother and so on do whereas
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today we have all these impacts from from the outside world like support groups different there are so many
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groups around who who who basically proposed a different way
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of looking at your second act if I will like how do you define it how we
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redefining us what is what who are you actually because you're not anymore who you used to be when you when you set out
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at 25 with small kids you know so now is the first time that you have this grand opportunity right it's me blank canvas
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what do you want to do with it define Deena just said I'm 10 months
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into my hair transition journey and feel empowered and free go Deena that's awesome yes that's awesome and
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that's really what it's about and I think more and more we see this and one of the things that you say you showcase women at this age that still have it
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their radiant their sensual their sexy and you're celebrating the female form I
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know that as I get older you know I look in the mirror sometimes and I'll say hmm I don't don't look the way I used to
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look and it used to be painful it used to be painful to look at myself and say oh you know and I'm fortunate I
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don't have a lot of wrinkles I'm very fortunate but but even that one wrinkle or the to wrinkle or or the you know
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it's I'm sagging somewhere or the jet whatever it is we start to get very very
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critical right about who and what we look like we need people like you Ben and the people that are in the industry
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that are telling us look at yourself with love you are beautiful right I
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think our first problem is the way we have been raised in the last 50 years of
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media with all these products we have been told what we should look like what our colors are on Vanity Fair or
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whatever magazine has been throughout the ages this is the ideal right you
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have to be 20 pounds heavy or 20 pounds light because you're not allowed to eat you have to have that haircut you have
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to wear this you can't wear a bikini after age 35 all that stuff what what
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really got a does us in every time is comparison we are not making anymore we
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are not celebrating we believe that either beauty is in the outside you became there because of the
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media because of all that because of the movies when I see this more and more now with with some call it metaphysical
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metaphysics the called a new age whatever with all these different ways of thinking about in life
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and what else is out there you know like right not just that that old-school good old boy structured thing we we want to
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rebel against things we want to question things it's about time than that we question both the system the attitudes
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society's new point societies and norms who makes the norms it's us who makes the norms plus baby boomers order the
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second-act demographic we had to pick a spending power in the country yes yet we
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don't even speak up when it comes to stuff like L'Oreal recently doing a giving out an ad where they said we
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declare 2019 the year of the graph the gray hair color and then they took a 20
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year old artificially color their gray and put it out there are you freaking kidding me are you so ridiculous you and
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I talked about Cindy Joseph may she rest in peace she she epitomizes for me she epitomizes
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what this whole movement is about she was pretty much at the forefront she's that she's a was a makeup artist she you
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know did the makeup of some of the most beautiful models in the world and when
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she turned 48 and decided I'm not going to pretend that I'm something else she's
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kind of I did the same thing she did she let her hair go white and wouldn't you know it she's walking down the street in
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New York and she gets picked up by one of the top agents and ends up modeling for Dolce Gabanna and then became one of
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the top silver haired models and I think she set the stage you talked about
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cosmetics she talked about the creams and the lotions that's her that was her whole thing boom cosmetics you don't need to put all
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that crap on your face let let the real you you know shine through what does the
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real you you know we we think we are defined by everybody else again I said this before beauty is not on the outside
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look I look back look back at our grandmothers yes we as kids did not look
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at them compare them especially back in the day when it when it was not about 20 million creams and what you should look
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like with social media today and all the influencers and millennial influencers who know it all correct and who are all
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the new instant models and if Instagram is consumer what are you don't get me started with this
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you know if you don't have anything to contribute that is of substance take yourself out of the equation you're not that important contribute something it's
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not that how many how many followers you have and how good of an influence New York like when you are 20 years old and
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you call yourself a life coach I'm sort of questioning that yeah and I would not
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be first in line to go you know get those services fresh for sure let's
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let's just go you know I want to ask you do you have a tip that you'd like to share with all of our viewers and I know
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you talked about there's only one you so you want to expand on that let's let's let everyone and I before I do that Dina
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wants you to know that she's gonna be seeing you in July in North Carolina she's excited to work with you so she's
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one of your face right she's gonna be one of your models even more apparently she well yes I heard about that I heard I heard about that she that is supposed
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to play take place in what is that July Carolina there you go there you go
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I'm all over the place this year is just a little crazy
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what who are you what's your personality why don't you bring that up like our
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grandmother says I just touched on when we were little kids we looked at them and we were in awe of what a maybe not
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back then we thought what a wise woman she is maybe she was not all that wise that he could call herself as or her
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peers or whatever but for us she was that now it's it's this first time that
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we that we in in history where we can sit back and say there Who am I you know
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I don't have to follow the norm I don't have to dress like everybody else like what is fashion everybody thinks fashion
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and beauty is I have to do what Kardashian what the Kardashians are telling I forbid when your own do your
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own thing and don't go crazy like the next thing that I just don't understand is when they have nothing to contribute
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anymore now they are dressing up boys they look like girls where's the haircuts and everything on the on the catwalks and the girls like boys ago and
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your point is what exactly what are they really you don't even know anymore what you put on and
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what are we teaching our kids you know we had Elodie what what what's your priya personality there's only one
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of you there's only one of each and every one of us and don't be scared that you don't have enough to contribute or
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that you're not that you're not enough you've got a whole story at this stage in life well that story and hone it well
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and I've also heard that you know that it's true that we all think that everybody else is looking at us and so
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we do things based upon they must be thinking this or this or this rather than what you are saying it comes from
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within and the reality is is really nobody's looking at you they're looking at they're busy worrying wondering what
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people are saying about them right so so what you're saying is actually the smart
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way to do this actually is to not worry about what other people say go within and show up as who you believe you are
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and and and express your your abilities and what you contribute to society I
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mean there is so many when it comes to fashion or to individuality let's start with the dress on let's start with
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colors what are your colors that you enjoy don't go like okay some of there's a lot of people out there right now who
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can I hate me but I'm just gonna tell you what I think that's why I'm here more what do you wanna wear and if this
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is pink or screaming blue or whatever and somebody says you cannot combine this with that you know what at this
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stage in life watch me those are my words Ben they I say watch me and Joey
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Garrity who's on the show right now and she talks a lot about that she talks about showing up in your own your
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visibility watch me show up so that the spotlight is on you and express yourself
23:53
and and do that and be there and be that person I am sure people are wondering
23:58
right now how they might be able to get on your calendar possibly you were
24:04
telling me that you're you're doing a lot of traveling you're gonna be down in San Diego which I'm excited about because that's where I am and then
24:09
you're going to North Kerala going to North Carolina you're gonna be all over the place so first of all I'm gonna put
24:15
some of your contact information up but I didn't put an email or anything like that is that if they go to your website
24:20
which happens to make this the website is always the easiest there's a link there to contact us and
24:26
we take it from there we get back to you from them I think this has got to be one of the most in the immediate way the
24:33
easiest way this way it's just my name it's been wink accom if they remember that you're good to go and it's actually
24:39
on the screen right now guys Ben Winkler calm if you want to follow Ben on Instagram which I suggest you do because
24:46
he puts a lot of amazing images up there you want to go to Ben underscore Winkler
24:51
underscore photography and after if you want to go to Twitter and follow him
24:56
over there it's been Winkler photo and then finally if you go over to Facebook
25:01
he has a page there as well it's been Winkler - photography - ink period and
25:08
when you and I there's a bunch of other numbers but I actually tested this Ben if they put that into the search your
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page will show up if you just put my name into it it shows up - there you go you know what just put Ben just put bit
25:19
in and he'll be there and I want to do a quick shout out here it's it might look
25:25
like a one-man operation but I've got people helping me with my social media I have - this is great shout out for all
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the ones that are helping me it's I couldn't do this by myself four phases of silver for all my social media for
25:38
everybody does something and it's a whole team effort and I just want to feature that here so oh my gosh
25:44
then if you if it was possible you just I like you even more because of what you
25:50
just did you're a we we talk about being a we this is about all of us being together you shout it out somebody else
25:56
you start this spotlight on them visibility and you are doing you are actually showing people how they should
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how they really should show up and that is to put the spotlight on others because when you do that the spotlight
26:08
shines right back on you I have a question for you any last-minute thoughts anything that you want to make
26:14
sure that people walk away from this show whether on live or on replay where they say number one that guy is amazing
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I need to contact him I want to get involved with him and number two this is going to help me show up better in life
26:27
because of these things that I have learned on the show today is there anything that you want to add well the
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first thing is I don't want people to mistake that I'm for only photographing your silver only gray hair
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do we do women midlife and up and midlife could be anything from 40 45 50 you know everybody I just don't want to
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go down to 20 or to school for photography there's there's no substance there's nothing to contribute nothing to
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appreciate for me you have another project scars oh do I ever I always have
26:59
another talk about scars so you know what we've got a little bit of time let's do this I I don't want to get off of the show until we really have
27:06
explored everything about Ben Winkler tell us a little bit about scars I just love the name of that by the way scars
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came around came about again it's the same demographic again and there are I
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wanna again my my work is always about beauty always about beauty mid-life
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enough so it's not only the outside that we have its the scars that we have and
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the the all the issues that and psychological issues that on the stories that come with them the stories of
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triumph the stories of suffering and so on I want to make this a project where
27:40
it's not gonna be the same to the same extent of the same scope as faces of silver faces of silver took me for two
27:47
years around the world that was on several continents I was like all over the place I want to narrow it down want
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to bring one maybe four for each category it could be anything from from c-sections to hip replacements to to
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breast cancer to fire ROI to order the most amazing scars most amazing I don't
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want to call them weird some people call them weird because we think scars are not normal yeah if we look at them as a
28:12
piece of you as a part as part of you and as a celebration that you're still around that you made it then they're
28:19
beautiful thing that's the only we have to set up now is we are painting our
28:24
makeup artist paints the scars in gold in gold cover along that theme of King
28:29
the Japanese art form Kim Soo be where you take a vessel like you drop this and you break it and then you fuse it back
28:36
together with gold and you make it something more something new something of value it doesn't decree a decrease in
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value and that's what I want to show with that project wow that's amazing Barry Selby says that's the path be
28:48
authentic and stand in your truth and actually Thank You Barry Barry and I go way back Carole actually put up your
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male she's one of your apparently you're one of your brand ambassadors for faces of silver she means motivated them she
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is doing a lot of my work for four phases of so she's she's been instrumental over the years Thank You
29:06
Carol well shout out for Carol that that is awesome Ben I want to thank you for taking time because clearly you're busy you're all
29:13
over the place I want to thank you for taking time to be on the show today and and actually on the premiere show of
29:18
season four I think this is a great way to start out the new season I totally appreciate who you are and and
29:23
what you are doing in the world and I I really hope that we stay in touch I'm actually considering I maybe I need to
29:29
connect with you and maybe do a photo shoot you can find me if I can find you
29:35
we're gonna be in San Diego it might just have to hunt you down this weekend huh sounds great I'm gonna drop you into
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the green room we're gonna do our super boomer moment and we're gonna say goodbye to everyone in just a minute
29:46
you're gonna go down into the lobby so bye-bye thank you so is is he amazing or what he's amazing
29:56
I I was when I started watching him on Instagram and seeing the photos that were there and seeing the reactions from
30:02
the women that he's photographed my first thought was I want to be one of those women my second thought was I want
30:07
to bring him on the show because you really epitomize everything that super boomers are all about so as I like to do
30:14
on a super vulnerable and I like to talk about something that stuck out in this conversation that I will take back with
30:20
me and and one of the things that you talked about was from the inside that we
30:26
really it's about the insight it's not the outside and that really struck home with me is that if we show up when we
30:33
show up not if when we show up with our inside beauty showing we can't help but
30:40
be beautiful Oh completely beautiful I want to thank you for sharing that with
30:45
us because I think it's important I think it's important for all of us to show up and to show up in our and as who
30:52
we are authentic authentically I'm having trouble talking authentically and
30:58
and as who you really are in your truth as Barry said so thank you thank you thank you for for being on the show
31:03
today and I want to thank the viewers you guys have a choice you have choice as to how you spend your time and
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you chose to spend it with Ben and I today and I want to thank you for that because I know that we're all very very
31:14
busy so whether you're watching this live if you're watching this on replay I want to thank you for taking time to
31:19
share your time with us so go out and give somebody an awesome day and we're
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gonna see you next week on the next episode of the super boomer lifestyle show goodbye everyone