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How to Create Balance for the Control You Crave!
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Jan 16, 2020
How to Create Balance for the Control You Crave! Caren Glasser talks with Mischelle ONeal on this episode of The Super Boomer Lifestyle Show! Join the conversation! Would you like to be a guest on the show? Set up time to talk with Caren: http://www.connectwithcaren.com Check out more shows here: http://www.carenglasser.live Follow us on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/carenglasser Follow us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thesuperboomerlifestyleshow Follow us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/carenglasser #mischelleoneal #CreateBalance #podcasthost #becauseican My Direct Links, Programs and Equipment I use for my Shows and Promotion: BeLive: http://bit.ly/3p7E0DB Get Your Book In Front Of Thousands of Potential Buyers! https://bit.ly/2HJ38Qu Logitech HD Pro Webcam: https://amzn.to/362BuXP Wired Earbuds with Microphone: http://amzn.to/3p1pmOi Lavalier Lapel Microphone: http://amzn.to/3p9EFVo
View Video Transcript
0:04
hello everyone Karen Glasser here and
0:07
welcome to the super boomer lifestyle
0:09
show brought to you by the super boomer
0:11
lifestyle comm your one-stop shop for
0:14
brands we know that you will love today
0:15
we welcome Michelle O'Neill to the show
0:18
today's topic is how to create balance
0:21
and control that you crave is it even
0:24
possible we're gonna find out with
0:26
Michelle today if you're here live we're
0:28
delighted that your life make a comment
0:31
down below say I'm here live if you're
0:32
here on replay we love you too make sure
0:35
you make a comment down below that
0:36
you're here on replay and do us a favor
0:39
share out the show share share share
0:41
share share we will love you 4ever
0:44
today the super Boomer pic of the week
0:48
is one of my favorite things and that is
0:51
the echo dot the reason why I like the
0:54
echo dot and I'm going to turn around
0:56
right now is that I love to have music
1:00
playing in my office all the time I have
1:02
classical music playing some people call
1:05
it music you know elevator music but I
1:07
love having visit planes so I have one
1:10
of these in almost every single one of
1:12
my rooms my guest was telling me so does
1:14
she except for one room I maybe will ask
1:16
her where that one room is that she
1:17
doesn't have it and I encourage you guys
1:20
to go check this out you can find this
1:23
on the super boomer lifestyle comm you
1:26
can see that scrolling down the bottom
1:28
alright I'm gonna bring this down here
1:31
and I would like to introduce our
1:33
special guest today Michelle O'Neill
1:36
served our country as and she is a
1:40
retired United States Air Force veteran
1:42
she continued her career as a civil
1:44
servant working for various federal
1:46
government agencies she was inspired by
1:49
a desire to help women overcome personal
1:51
and professional challenges and she
1:54
created something called the mastering
1:56
your Monday to assist women in
1:58
developing a more balanced there's that
1:59
word again
2:00
productive lifestyle and how to create a
2:03
fresh start one Monday at a time so
2:06
without further day I bring in Michelle
2:10
O'Neal come on in Michelle how are you
2:13
hello hello how are you Karen I am so
2:17
excited to be here today
2:18
well not as excited as I am I am so
2:21
excited about this topic we already
2:23
started talking about it offline it's
2:25
all about the topic of balance but
2:26
Before we jump into that I like to start
2:30
the show with the question how do you
2:31
describe a super boomer if you're on the
2:34
show live right now or replay tell us
2:36
how you describe a super boomer right in
2:37
the comments I describe super boomers
2:40
that they're not defined by their age
2:41
they're defined by how they show up
2:44
basically fearless with a just watch me
2:48
attitude that's how I describe a super
2:50
boomer how do you describe a super
2:52
boomer Michelle I say she's a woman who
2:55
does not let age size her station in
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life define who she is and what she can
3:01
do but her power and her secret weapon
3:05
is really her mind that's where all the
3:08
power is she's a woman of infinite
3:10
wisdom experience and love and she
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understands excellence and service oh my
3:18
gosh that's an awesome awesome
3:20
definition your work I want to be that
3:23
I'm gonna be that so if you're just
3:28
tuning in right now we're talking to
3:29
Michelle O'Neal and we're talking about
3:31
the topic of balance and getting that
3:34
balance and that control that we crave
3:37
so let's just jump in balance does it
3:39
even exist what does that mean how do
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you define balance so I have a question
3:44
for you when you think about Mohammed I
3:47
look Ali can't even talk Mohammed Ali or
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some other boxer Sugar Ray Leonard or
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whoever you think about balance is it
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that they stay even keel or what what
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are they really doing or even if you
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talk about karate or or some other kind
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of sport they're all involved balance
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correct that's true that's true but it's
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a dance that's what balance is it's a
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dance it's be able to keep your focus
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but also keeping that that rhythm going
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so it's that flow and that rhythm and
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that's what balances in our life is
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keeping that flow that a band that type
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of rhythm go in our life and so what
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you're saying is is that when we can
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find that balance then we can
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it helps us have more control that I
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know I crave I'm free but how does that
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work I mean so except how does that work
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exactly so control is really focusing on
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the things that matter to you most and a
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lot of time we get so inundated with all
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the things that really don't matter
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because they're pulling at our time the
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things at work they're their deadlines
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and at home
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there's people the kids are pulling at
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you I need you for this I need you to
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take me here now so as being able to
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prioritize those things and finding out
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what exactly matters I always say there
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are 50 shades of no I love that 50
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shades of no that's a great quote we're
5:30
gonna have to put that that's awesome
5:35
that's awesome so okay so you help women
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champion for themselves but let's talk a
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little bit about your background you're
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you were in the service you you and you
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you work for the government that's that
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is first of all I'm an all of you you
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know I I think a lot of us when we think
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of the service and we think of things
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like that we think of men right they go
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when they do that and I'm in awe of you
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because that's clearly not a true
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statement there are a lot of women that
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are in the service tell us a little bit
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about that experience and how it might
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have molded who you are today well one
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of the hardest things about being in the
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military and I was in a totally
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male-dominated field when I first came
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in I was actually an electrician and
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when you come into it feel like that
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instead of acting or being the person
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that you are and really understanding
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your identity you try so hard to fit in
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so you become who they expect you to be
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or you have to prove yourself especially
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as a woman going into a field like that
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you know it's like I'm just as strong
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I'm just
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good as you are but it's funny because
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they would capitalize on my size because
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I could go into the small spaces and
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things and and simbiani like the small
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things that they couldn't do no baby
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yeah exactly so that's what what happens
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when you're in that type of world so it
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was because of my mother that I learned
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to really identify who I was and I
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understood that and it was only when I
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was ready to to grasp that that I began
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to to come you late coming like Oh can't
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talk today into Who I am so one of the
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things is is really understanding your
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identity and that's what I work with
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women on is is defining who you are at
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with no questions and one of the things
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that I'm really big on is you have to
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know your non-negotiables simple as that
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when you understand your non-negotiables
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you understand where you end and someone
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else begins and you take responsibility
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and you take ownership of your life
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that's where the power comes in do you
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think it's because of your your history
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of your past that you you decided you
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you really wanted to help women become
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champions to themselves and to others
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exactly a lot of times in the workforce
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and even in marriages and life women
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feel that there are no options that
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there's no way out my mother used to
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tell me on the sidelines I don't care
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what you do but I always keep a little
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something on the side and I'm like mom I
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don't need to do that and I don't but I
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also always have a plan where I know
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that if this happened then what and so
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you always think through what's the
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worst that can happen and what's your
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plan for that and if the best happen can
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you handle that because a lot of times
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even though we can we can deal with the
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the worst a lot of times we don't know
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how to deal with the good yeah I don't
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expect it that's true that that
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that is true so tell us a little bit
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about mastering for Monday okay ignore
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Monday okay about that what does that
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mean and it was a little bit it's a
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little tongue-in-cheek so mastering your
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Monday the reason I picked that is
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because a lot of people have what they
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call the Monday blues or they feel like
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Monday is the worst day but for others
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Monday is the beginning the fresh start
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so for me it's not necessarily the word
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Monday or the day Monday it's about the
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fresh start that we pick up and start
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again
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that's what mastering your Monday is and
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one of the things I found that if you
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focused on on just doing the things to
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get you there if you have a plan and you
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focus on the actions to get you there
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all of a sudden the next week you wake
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up and you go oh my gosh I've gotten so
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far so are you a proponent of small
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steps to get to the bigger how do you
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eat the elephant one Monday at a time
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when fighting the times but I say one
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Monday one Monday at a time that so so
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you you teach this and I know you also
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have a book that's out I want to put
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this up here right now it's called a
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mastering your Monday it's available on
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your website and we're going to actually
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an Amazon we're gonna send you we're
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gonna send people over there after the
10:22
show so that they can go take a look at
10:24
the book mastering your Monday tell us
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what they're gonna get in this book what
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this book is is I took a lot of the
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lessons that I learned growing up again
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my mother is a big factor in it
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if I can share a story her when I was
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little nine years old I was getting
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ready these three girls wanted to beat
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me up and so I went home I was crying
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boom my mother's standing in the door in
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the screen door and right beside her she
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has her hands on the hip and she looks
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at me and she says girl what is your
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problem
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she says if you don't get your tail out
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there you grab yourself a stick a brick
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I don't care what you get but you get
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your tail out there and fight and and I
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looked at her and I said hmm mom or can
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be them three girls well you know where
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I went I went out there with those three
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girls work because I didn't want to face
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what I had to deal with my mom and then
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afterwards I came back crying and she
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says girl but the thing is I was happy
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because I had the courage to go back out
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there and I fought it wasn't whether I
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won or our loss but it's that I got back
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out there and I fought but the things
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she go ahead know and I think we learned
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this lesson is get back up on the horse
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right mm-hmm don't let it define you
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exactly and the thing she taught me to
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though which was key is you grab that
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stick or brick I don't care what you do
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so it's fine the resources the available
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resources to you at that time and use
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them and that is so key and that's
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what's in the book we talk about the
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fact that we have patterns in our life
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that's in the first chapter we have good
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patterns and bad patterns so you learn
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from the bad patterns but you also look
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at what you're gonna fall back on
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because those patterns that you create
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all right what you're gonna fall back on
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and in in the in the instance of
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something that something tragic or
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something that happens is that stop drop
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and roll you learn that pattern so much
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in school that if a fire happens what
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are you gonna do stop me gonna do it
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immediately because that's what you've
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been trained that it's ingrained right
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it's exactly exactly so that's one of
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the things we talk about it but we talk
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about the the consequences a lot of
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times people don't think through the
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consequences of their actions before
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they take those actions so a lot of
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times just stop stop
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take a breath and say what is the worst
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that can happen
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what is the best our consequences are
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like tentacles of an octopus it doesn't
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just affect
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you everyone it touches everyone
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everyone you know I it's interesting
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because that is actually what I ask
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myself whenever I find myself in a
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situation what is the worst thing that
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could happen and can I live with it so I
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you know I make decisions based on that
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do I go take this risk
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do I go do this do I and I always ask
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myself what is what's the worst that
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could happen at this point what's the
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worst-case scenario and if I really can
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deal with it then I'm gonna go do it if
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I can't that is that's that's me saying
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okay that's where you draw the line do
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you do similar stuff exactly i i lo i I
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just have to think through everything I
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do because if I don't I won't move
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forward I could live in fear or that
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removes the fear when you think of both
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both instances the worst and the best
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that removes all fear because you know
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what can happen you and then you can
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move forward in action and that's what
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we need to do is be able to take that
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action one of the things I realize is we
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as humans are the only creatures who
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thought dictates our stress no other
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creature
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does that happen and we let that stress
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actually react in our bodies if you've
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ever woken up in the middle of the night
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and you have a leg cramp or restless leg
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that's stress coming out because what
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happens is stress releases those the pH
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balanced acids and that eats up the
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minerals in your in your body so if we
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have this control and this balance we
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can manage our stress there's good
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stress and bad stress yeah I want to
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manage it well I call it the itty-bitty
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titty committee
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that's in my head you know and it talks
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to me and you know before the show we we
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were talking about the fact that I get
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up you know 333 3:00 in the morning
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because it's talking to me and I have to
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get out so this is this is very this is
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very interesting to me what is what is
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the the biggest question that you get
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asked when you're in a group of women
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and they find out what you do what's
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that question that people ask you
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how to create healthy boundaries I think
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that's one of the hardest things for us
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to do as women and that's one of my key
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next two identity that is one of my key
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things that I do is is talk about
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healthy boundaries because if we don't
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have those where we are the gatekeepers
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of our heart of our minds of our lives
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and so we have to have those boundaries
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in place and if we don't that goes back
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to the 50 shades of No
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then people we allow people to have
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control of our lives we allow them to
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manipulate us and we we're so much
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people pleasers that we allow this thank
16:11
you for that thank you for that I think
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that that's that's it really important
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information that's I think that's gonna
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be my super boomer moment of the week so
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you know for those of you who are
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wondering how do we get in touch with
16:22
Michelle well first of all you can go
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check her out on Instagram that Michelle
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O'Neal I love the way you spell your
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name by the way guys did you notice mi
16:31
sche lle O'Neal if you want to check her
16:35
out on a Twitter you can also see her
16:39
its finder on Twitter here we go it's at
16:42
Michelle O'Neal so it's a it's same
16:45
thing there and finally we talked about
16:48
going to Michelle's website mastering
16:52
your money Monday
16:53
you can't talk I can't talk either comm
16:58
/and ym look you can check out the book
17:02
over there and I encourage you to do
17:04
that I think a lot of really great great
17:07
information that we're talking about
17:08
today are there any last-minute thoughts
17:10
that you want to share with the audience
17:11
that maybe we haven't touched upon that
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we have to you you know it's really
17:17
important that we do well the main thing
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is is I had talked about being your
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non-negotiables understanding those and
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being the gatekeeper of the of our lives
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of our hearts and the reason I say this
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is because when we do that we let the
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good things in and we keep out the bad
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things and that is so important to who
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sits in the
17:41
row of your life choose wisely who you
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share with and who is into in your life
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and who you allow into your inner circle
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because that is so important to your
17:54
mental and physical health I think if
17:57
you have you heard this that we the five
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people that we spend our time with that
18:04
is basically who defines our world are
18:07
our communications our life I think you
18:09
agree with that it's what you were
18:10
saying right now I mean it's it's who we
18:13
surround ourselves with right exactly
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and that's what you were talking about
18:16
that balance and controlling your life
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it's important those are our balance in
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our control at the end of day I have to
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say this who's gonna be at your deathbed
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those are the people I'm sorry it may
18:29
sound more of it but I always and I
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asked my clients I'm like at the end of
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the day who's gonna be at your deathbed
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because those are the people that need
18:38
exactly exactly thank you thank you
18:42
thank you Michelle I appreciate you
18:44
taking time out of your busy day I know
18:47
that it's getting dark over there you're
18:48
not where I am and it's it's I hate this
18:53
time of year to be honest I it gets dark
18:54
way too early I want to thank you though
18:56
because what you have to say is
18:58
important it is very important in fact
19:01
I'm going to talk about it right now in
19:02
the super Boomer moment but I do
19:04
appreciate you sharing your book your
19:06
time and your thoughts with our audience
19:09
thanks again I'm gonna drop you into the
19:11
green room as we finish up the show bye
19:13
bye thank you she's amazing she's
19:17
totally amazing and I we already know
19:19
what my super boomer moment is because
19:22
when when Michelle said the 50 shades of
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no I mean is that perfect and and it's
19:29
all about the boundaries right it's
19:30
about the boundaries that we put up so
19:33
that so that we can do the good work
19:36
that we need to do without being
19:38
distracted by all the noise and the
19:40
chatter and the because I called the
19:42
itty-bitty you know what in my head but
19:44
it is the fifty shades in oh and don't
19:45
be afraid to say no one of we had a
19:48
guest on a couple of weeks ago Andrea
19:49
waltz who wrote the book go for know and
19:51
in fact her the entire book is about
19:54
you go for knows you just naturally get
19:56
more yeses so it is the 50 shades of
19:59
no-go for them get those boundaries up
20:02
great great great points and advice I
20:04
want to thank you guys because we know
20:07
that you have a time a choice as to
20:09
where you spend your time and you
20:10
decided to spend it with Michelle and I
20:13
today and we are forever grateful for
20:15
that go out and give somebody an awesome
20:18
day and we will see you next week on the
20:21
next episode of the super boomer
20:24
lifestyle show goodbye everyone