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How to Create Balance for the Control You Crave! Caren Glasser talks with Mischelle ONeal on this episode of The Super Boomer Lifestyle Show! Join the conversation!
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0:04
hello everyone Karen Glasser here and
0:07
welcome to the super boomer lifestyle
0:09
show brought to you by the super boomer
0:11
lifestyle comm your one-stop shop for
0:14
brands we know that you will love today
0:15
we welcome Michelle O'Neill to the show
0:18
today's topic is how to create balance
0:21
and control that you crave is it even
0:24
possible we're gonna find out with
0:26
Michelle today if you're here live we're
0:28
delighted that your life make a comment
0:31
down below say I'm here live if you're
0:32
here on replay we love you too make sure
0:35
you make a comment down below that
0:36
you're here on replay and do us a favor
0:39
share out the show share share share
0:41
share share we will love you 4ever
0:44
today the super Boomer pic of the week
0:48
is one of my favorite things and that is
0:51
the echo dot the reason why I like the
0:54
echo dot and I'm going to turn around
0:56
right now is that I love to have music
1:00
playing in my office all the time I have
1:02
classical music playing some people call
1:05
it music you know elevator music but I
1:07
love having visit planes so I have one
1:10
of these in almost every single one of
1:12
my rooms my guest was telling me so does
1:14
she except for one room I maybe will ask
1:16
her where that one room is that she
1:17
doesn't have it and I encourage you guys
1:20
to go check this out you can find this
1:23
on the super boomer lifestyle comm you
1:26
can see that scrolling down the bottom
1:28
alright I'm gonna bring this down here
1:31
and I would like to introduce our
1:33
special guest today Michelle O'Neill
1:36
served our country as and she is a
1:40
retired United States Air Force veteran
1:42
she continued her career as a civil
1:44
servant working for various federal
1:46
government agencies she was inspired by
1:49
a desire to help women overcome personal
1:51
and professional challenges and she
1:54
created something called the mastering
1:56
your Monday to assist women in
1:58
developing a more balanced there's that
1:59
word again
2:00
productive lifestyle and how to create a
2:03
fresh start one Monday at a time so
2:06
without further day I bring in Michelle
2:10
O'Neal come on in Michelle how are you
2:13
hello hello how are you Karen I am so
2:17
excited to be here today
2:18
well not as excited as I am I am so
2:21
excited about this topic we already
2:23
started talking about it offline it's
2:25
all about the topic of balance but
2:26
Before we jump into that I like to start
2:30
the show with the question how do you
2:31
describe a super boomer if you're on the
2:34
show live right now or replay tell us
2:36
how you describe a super boomer right in
2:37
the comments I describe super boomers
2:40
that they're not defined by their age
2:41
they're defined by how they show up
2:44
basically fearless with a just watch me
2:48
attitude that's how I describe a super
2:50
boomer how do you describe a super
2:52
boomer Michelle I say she's a woman who
2:55
does not let age size her station in
2:58
life define who she is and what she can
3:01
do but her power and her secret weapon
3:05
is really her mind that's where all the
3:08
power is she's a woman of infinite
3:10
wisdom experience and love and she
3:14
understands excellence and service oh my
3:18
gosh that's an awesome awesome
3:20
definition your work I want to be that
3:23
I'm gonna be that so if you're just
3:28
tuning in right now we're talking to
3:29
Michelle O'Neal and we're talking about
3:31
the topic of balance and getting that
3:34
balance and that control that we crave
3:37
so let's just jump in balance does it
3:39
even exist what does that mean how do
3:41
you define balance so I have a question
3:44
for you when you think about Mohammed I
3:47
look Ali can't even talk Mohammed Ali or
3:50
some other boxer Sugar Ray Leonard or
3:52
whoever you think about balance is it
3:56
that they stay even keel or what what
4:01
are they really doing or even if you
4:03
talk about karate or or some other kind
4:09
of sport they're all involved balance
4:11
correct that's true that's true but it's
4:14
a dance that's what balance is it's a
4:18
dance it's be able to keep your focus
4:22
but also keeping that that rhythm going
4:27
so it's that flow and that rhythm and
4:29
that's what balances in our life is
4:31
keeping that flow that a band that type
4:34
of rhythm go in our life and so what
4:38
you're saying is is that when we can
4:39
find that balance then we can
4:42
it helps us have more control that I
4:45
know I crave I'm free but how does that
4:50
work I mean so except how does that work
4:53
exactly so control is really focusing on
4:57
the things that matter to you most and a
4:59
lot of time we get so inundated with all
5:01
the things that really don't matter
5:03
because they're pulling at our time the
5:06
things at work they're their deadlines
5:09
and at home
5:10
there's people the kids are pulling at
5:13
you I need you for this I need you to
5:15
take me here now so as being able to
5:17
prioritize those things and finding out
5:19
what exactly matters I always say there
5:23
are 50 shades of no I love that 50
5:28
shades of no that's a great quote we're
5:30
gonna have to put that that's awesome
5:35
that's awesome so okay so you help women
5:40
champion for themselves but let's talk a
5:42
little bit about your background you're
5:43
you were in the service you you and you
5:45
you work for the government that's that
5:48
is first of all I'm an all of you you
5:51
know I I think a lot of us when we think
5:53
of the service and we think of things
5:55
like that we think of men right they go
5:57
when they do that and I'm in awe of you
5:59
because that's clearly not a true
6:01
statement there are a lot of women that
6:03
are in the service tell us a little bit
6:05
about that experience and how it might
6:07
have molded who you are today well one
6:10
of the hardest things about being in the
6:11
military and I was in a totally
6:14
male-dominated field when I first came
6:16
in I was actually an electrician and
6:19
when you come into it feel like that
6:21
instead of acting or being the person
6:24
that you are and really understanding
6:25
your identity you try so hard to fit in
6:28
so you become who they expect you to be
6:32
or you have to prove yourself especially
6:34
as a woman going into a field like that
6:36
you know it's like I'm just as strong
6:38
I'm just
6:38
good as you are but it's funny because
6:40
they would capitalize on my size because
6:44
I could go into the small spaces and
6:46
things and and simbiani like the small
6:49
things that they couldn't do no baby
6:52
yeah exactly so that's what what happens
6:57
when you're in that type of world so it
6:59
was because of my mother that I learned
7:01
to really identify who I was and I
7:03
understood that and it was only when I
7:06
was ready to to grasp that that I began
7:10
to to come you late coming like Oh can't
7:15
talk today into Who I am so one of the
7:18
things is is really understanding your
7:21
identity and that's what I work with
7:23
women on is is defining who you are at
7:26
with no questions and one of the things
7:30
that I'm really big on is you have to
7:34
know your non-negotiables simple as that
7:37
when you understand your non-negotiables
7:39
you understand where you end and someone
7:43
else begins and you take responsibility
7:46
and you take ownership of your life
7:50
that's where the power comes in do you
7:53
think it's because of your your history
7:56
of your past that you you decided you
7:58
you really wanted to help women become
8:01
champions to themselves and to others
8:04
exactly a lot of times in the workforce
8:07
and even in marriages and life women
8:11
feel that there are no options that
8:14
there's no way out my mother used to
8:16
tell me on the sidelines I don't care
8:18
what you do but I always keep a little
8:19
something on the side and I'm like mom I
8:22
don't need to do that and I don't but I
8:25
also always have a plan where I know
8:28
that if this happened then what and so
8:32
you always think through what's the
8:34
worst that can happen and what's your
8:36
plan for that and if the best happen can
8:39
you handle that because a lot of times
8:41
even though we can we can deal with the
8:44
the worst a lot of times we don't know
8:46
how to deal with the good yeah I don't
8:49
expect it that's true that that
8:52
that is true so tell us a little bit
8:56
about mastering for Monday okay ignore
9:00
Monday okay about that what does that
9:01
mean and it was a little bit it's a
9:04
little tongue-in-cheek so mastering your
9:06
Monday the reason I picked that is
9:07
because a lot of people have what they
9:10
call the Monday blues or they feel like
9:12
Monday is the worst day but for others
9:14
Monday is the beginning the fresh start
9:18
so for me it's not necessarily the word
9:21
Monday or the day Monday it's about the
9:25
fresh start that we pick up and start
9:29
again
9:30
that's what mastering your Monday is and
9:32
one of the things I found that if you
9:34
focused on on just doing the things to
9:38
get you there if you have a plan and you
9:41
focus on the actions to get you there
9:43
all of a sudden the next week you wake
9:46
up and you go oh my gosh I've gotten so
9:49
far so are you a proponent of small
9:54
steps to get to the bigger how do you
9:57
eat the elephant one Monday at a time
9:59
when fighting the times but I say one
10:01
Monday one Monday at a time that so so
10:07
you you teach this and I know you also
10:09
have a book that's out I want to put
10:11
this up here right now it's called a
10:13
mastering your Monday it's available on
10:15
your website and we're going to actually
10:19
an Amazon we're gonna send you we're
10:21
gonna send people over there after the
10:22
show so that they can go take a look at
10:24
the book mastering your Monday tell us
10:26
what they're gonna get in this book what
10:29
this book is is I took a lot of the
10:31
lessons that I learned growing up again
10:33
my mother is a big factor in it
10:36
if I can share a story her when I was
10:39
little nine years old I was getting
10:42
ready these three girls wanted to beat
10:44
me up and so I went home I was crying
10:47
boom my mother's standing in the door in
10:50
the screen door and right beside her she
10:54
has her hands on the hip and she looks
10:56
at me and she says girl what is your
10:58
problem
11:02
she says if you don't get your tail out
11:04
there you grab yourself a stick a brick
11:07
I don't care what you get but you get
11:09
your tail out there and fight and and I
11:13
looked at her and I said hmm mom or can
11:17
be them three girls well you know where
11:18
I went I went out there with those three
11:20
girls work because I didn't want to face
11:24
what I had to deal with my mom and then
11:26
afterwards I came back crying and she
11:32
says girl but the thing is I was happy
11:35
because I had the courage to go back out
11:37
there and I fought it wasn't whether I
11:39
won or our loss but it's that I got back
11:42
out there and I fought but the things
11:45
she go ahead know and I think we learned
11:48
this lesson is get back up on the horse
11:50
right mm-hmm don't let it define you
11:53
exactly and the thing she taught me to
11:55
though which was key is you grab that
11:58
stick or brick I don't care what you do
12:01
so it's fine the resources the available
12:04
resources to you at that time and use
12:08
them and that is so key and that's
12:12
what's in the book we talk about the
12:14
fact that we have patterns in our life
12:17
that's in the first chapter we have good
12:19
patterns and bad patterns so you learn
12:22
from the bad patterns but you also look
12:24
at what you're gonna fall back on
12:26
because those patterns that you create
12:28
all right what you're gonna fall back on
12:30
and in in the in the instance of
12:34
something that something tragic or
12:36
something that happens is that stop drop
12:39
and roll you learn that pattern so much
12:41
in school that if a fire happens what
12:44
are you gonna do stop me gonna do it
12:46
immediately because that's what you've
12:47
been trained that it's ingrained right
12:49
it's exactly exactly so that's one of
12:52
the things we talk about it but we talk
12:54
about the the consequences a lot of
12:56
times people don't think through the
12:58
consequences of their actions before
13:00
they take those actions so a lot of
13:02
times just stop stop
13:05
take a breath and say what is the worst
13:08
that can happen
13:09
what is the best our consequences are
13:11
like tentacles of an octopus it doesn't
13:14
just affect
13:15
you everyone it touches everyone
13:18
everyone you know I it's interesting
13:20
because that is actually what I ask
13:22
myself whenever I find myself in a
13:25
situation what is the worst thing that
13:27
could happen and can I live with it so I
13:30
you know I make decisions based on that
13:33
do I go take this risk
13:34
do I go do this do I and I always ask
13:37
myself what is what's the worst that
13:39
could happen at this point what's the
13:40
worst-case scenario and if I really can
13:42
deal with it then I'm gonna go do it if
13:44
I can't that is that's that's me saying
13:47
okay that's where you draw the line do
13:49
you do similar stuff exactly i i lo i I
13:52
just have to think through everything I
13:55
do because if I don't I won't move
13:58
forward I could live in fear or that
14:02
removes the fear when you think of both
14:04
both instances the worst and the best
14:06
that removes all fear because you know
14:08
what can happen you and then you can
14:11
move forward in action and that's what
14:13
we need to do is be able to take that
14:15
action one of the things I realize is we
14:19
as humans are the only creatures who
14:22
thought dictates our stress no other
14:27
creature
14:27
does that happen and we let that stress
14:30
actually react in our bodies if you've
14:34
ever woken up in the middle of the night
14:36
and you have a leg cramp or restless leg
14:40
that's stress coming out because what
14:42
happens is stress releases those the pH
14:46
balanced acids and that eats up the
14:49
minerals in your in your body so if we
14:52
have this control and this balance we
14:55
can manage our stress there's good
14:57
stress and bad stress yeah I want to
14:59
manage it well I call it the itty-bitty
15:01
titty committee
15:02
that's in my head you know and it talks
15:05
to me and you know before the show we we
15:07
were talking about the fact that I get
15:08
up you know 333 3:00 in the morning
15:10
because it's talking to me and I have to
15:14
get out so this is this is very this is
15:16
very interesting to me what is what is
15:19
the the biggest question that you get
15:21
asked when you're in a group of women
15:23
and they find out what you do what's
15:26
that question that people ask you
15:29
how to create healthy boundaries I think
15:31
that's one of the hardest things for us
15:32
to do as women and that's one of my key
15:36
next two identity that is one of my key
15:39
things that I do is is talk about
15:41
healthy boundaries because if we don't
15:43
have those where we are the gatekeepers
15:46
of our heart of our minds of our lives
15:49
and so we have to have those boundaries
15:52
in place and if we don't that goes back
15:55
to the 50 shades of No
15:57
then people we allow people to have
15:59
control of our lives we allow them to
16:02
manipulate us and we we're so much
16:06
people pleasers that we allow this thank
16:11
you for that thank you for that I think
16:12
that that's that's it really important
16:14
information that's I think that's gonna
16:15
be my super boomer moment of the week so
16:19
you know for those of you who are
16:21
wondering how do we get in touch with
16:22
Michelle well first of all you can go
16:24
check her out on Instagram that Michelle
16:27
O'Neal I love the way you spell your
16:29
name by the way guys did you notice mi
16:31
sche lle O'Neal if you want to check her
16:35
out on a Twitter you can also see her
16:39
its finder on Twitter here we go it's at
16:42
Michelle O'Neal so it's a it's same
16:45
thing there and finally we talked about
16:48
going to Michelle's website mastering
16:52
your money Monday
16:53
you can't talk I can't talk either comm
16:58
/and ym look you can check out the book
17:02
over there and I encourage you to do
17:04
that I think a lot of really great great
17:07
information that we're talking about
17:08
today are there any last-minute thoughts
17:10
that you want to share with the audience
17:11
that maybe we haven't touched upon that
17:14
we have to you you know it's really
17:17
important that we do well the main thing
17:19
is is I had talked about being your
17:22
non-negotiables understanding those and
17:24
being the gatekeeper of the of our lives
17:27
of our hearts and the reason I say this
17:30
is because when we do that we let the
17:34
good things in and we keep out the bad
17:37
things and that is so important to who
17:41
sits in the
17:41
row of your life choose wisely who you
17:45
share with and who is into in your life
17:48
and who you allow into your inner circle
17:50
because that is so important to your
17:54
mental and physical health I think if
17:57
you have you heard this that we the five
18:00
people that we spend our time with that
18:04
is basically who defines our world are
18:07
our communications our life I think you
18:09
agree with that it's what you were
18:10
saying right now I mean it's it's who we
18:13
surround ourselves with right exactly
18:15
and that's what you were talking about
18:16
that balance and controlling your life
18:18
it's important those are our balance in
18:21
our control at the end of day I have to
18:22
say this who's gonna be at your deathbed
18:26
those are the people I'm sorry it may
18:29
sound more of it but I always and I
18:31
asked my clients I'm like at the end of
18:33
the day who's gonna be at your deathbed
18:35
because those are the people that need
18:38
exactly exactly thank you thank you
18:42
thank you Michelle I appreciate you
18:44
taking time out of your busy day I know
18:47
that it's getting dark over there you're
18:48
not where I am and it's it's I hate this
18:53
time of year to be honest I it gets dark
18:54
way too early I want to thank you though
18:56
because what you have to say is
18:58
important it is very important in fact
19:01
I'm going to talk about it right now in
19:02
the super Boomer moment but I do
19:04
appreciate you sharing your book your
19:06
time and your thoughts with our audience
19:09
thanks again I'm gonna drop you into the
19:11
green room as we finish up the show bye
19:13
bye thank you she's amazing she's
19:17
totally amazing and I we already know
19:19
what my super boomer moment is because
19:22
when when Michelle said the 50 shades of
19:25
no I mean is that perfect and and it's
19:29
all about the boundaries right it's
19:30
about the boundaries that we put up so
19:33
that so that we can do the good work
19:36
that we need to do without being
19:38
distracted by all the noise and the
19:40
chatter and the because I called the
19:42
itty-bitty you know what in my head but
19:44
it is the fifty shades in oh and don't
19:45
be afraid to say no one of we had a
19:48
guest on a couple of weeks ago Andrea
19:49
waltz who wrote the book go for know and
19:51
in fact her the entire book is about
19:54
you go for knows you just naturally get
19:56
more yeses so it is the 50 shades of
19:59
no-go for them get those boundaries up
20:02
great great great points and advice I
20:04
want to thank you guys because we know
20:07
that you have a time a choice as to
20:09
where you spend your time and you
20:10
decided to spend it with Michelle and I
20:13
today and we are forever grateful for
20:15
that go out and give somebody an awesome
20:18
day and we will see you next week on the
20:21
next episode of the super boomer
20:24
lifestyle show goodbye everyone