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I have Cancer! Now What?
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May 14, 2018
I invite you to set up time with me by filling out the form below: http://www.ConnectWithCaren.com I have Cancer! Now what? On this Little White Lie I talk with Amy Morrison Regenstreif about the 4 things you should do right now. Join the conversation! #LWL My Direct Links, Programs & Equipment I use for my Shows & Promotion: BeLive: http://bit.ly/3p7E0DB Get Your Book In Front Of Thousands of Potential Buyers! https://bit.ly/2HJ38Qu Logitech HD Pro Webcam: https://amzn.to/362BuXP Wired Earbuds with Microphone: http://amzn.to/3p1pmOi Lavalier Lapel Microphone: http://amzn.to/3p9EFVo Blue Yeti USB Mic: https://amzn.to/395hExi ATR2100-USB Cardioid Dynamic Microphone: http://amzn.to/3qzEy5A LED Video Light Kit: http://amzn.to/360Qg1w Neewer Ring Light Kit: http://amzn.to/392bON2 (Some links on this video page may be affiliate links that can result in small commissions & help support the channel, they DO NOT cause you to pay any extra money for an item)
View Video Transcript
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I have cancer now what that question and
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four things you can do right now on this
0:08
episode of the little white lie
0:11
hello everyone Karen Glasser here and
0:13
welcome to the little white lie I am so
0:15
glad that you're here on today's show we
0:18
have a really hard-hitting topic that I
0:21
am I am
0:22
it's really important for me that I want
0:24
to be able to share something like this
0:25
with you and my guest is amazing and I
0:27
can't wait to introduce you to her but
0:29
in the meantime if you're here on replay
0:31
we are excited that you're on here and
0:34
replay you are important to us so make
0:36
sure that you put into the notes down
0:37
below in the comments I'm here on replay
0:39
let people know that you're here and we
0:42
will come back and comment on that if
0:44
you would like to share this out that
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would be so awesome with you just click
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share it out to your network and your
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friends and bring them on into the
0:52
conversation we would be very very happy
0:55
to have that and as I do every single
0:57
show I do my reveal so as you can
0:59
already see I am almost all grown out
1:02
I'm gonna put my head down so that you
1:03
can see it but my hair is almost grown
1:08
out I think from the next haircut it's
1:09
gonna be completely gone and as you guys
1:11
know that is my little white lie if you
1:14
haven't picked up your copy of the
1:16
little white light digital magazine go
1:18
ahead and pick it up it's absolutely
1:20
free I'm very very proud of the work
1:21
that we've done in that magazine and I
1:23
think that you will enjoy it immensely
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1:27
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1:38
put a comment up there Lisa thank you so
1:40
much loving my hair I really appreciate
1:42
that thank you so much we got Mary Jo
1:44
here and she's saying hello hi everyone
1:46
and we've got Lynn Seguin hi Karen love
1:49
the hair so we've got people on the show
1:51
we're so glad you're here stay tuned
1:52
because we're about to start officially
1:55
so today my guest is Amy Morrison
2:00
Reagan's wife and I'm just I'm gonna
2:02
read this to you because this woman is
2:04
inspiring to me and that's why I asked
2:07
her to come on the show Amy has a rare
2:10
cancer and it's I'm going to
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and we were practicing it before we came
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on so I'm just gonna go ahead and
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pronounce this out here retroperitoneal
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lay out lay oh my Oh sarcoma
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it's a rare cancer and she's had it for
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over 16 years she just turned 60 in June
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happy birthday Amy and and she has had
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about 20 surgeries six chemos chemo
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email no therapy I'm we're going to
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pronounce that later on a radio
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embolization to her liver three ports
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one PICC line video assisted thoracic
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surgery to her lung to collapse lungs
2:44
targeted radiation to her libs ribs
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liver and lung and much more in 2015 she
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went into anaphylactic shock during a
2:53
procedure had no oxygen to her brain for
2:56
40 minutes and yet she woke up three
2:58
days later she is an unexplained medical
3:01
miracle as a matter of fact it actually
3:02
says that in her records she is now
3:05
living with about 15 small tumors and
3:07
trying to figure out how to stay here on
3:09
earth but here's the thing
3:12
you would never know it to look at her
3:13
during this time she became a patient
3:15
advocate helping others like herself
3:17
stay on this earth to her goal in cancer
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survivorship is to teach others a
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systematic way in goal-setting and
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thinking outside the box to live with
3:26
cancer as best they can
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her focus is not one time patient but
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those that are living with cancer
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ongoing for years and so without further
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ado I welcome Amy to the show
3:38
hi Amy how are you I thank you for
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having me it's an honor well I am so so
3:45
honored the honor is actually mine to
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have you on this show you know I just
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did a litany of things that you have
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experienced and I know that is just the
3:54
tip of the iceberg but you are uniquely
3:57
qualified to be sitting here and helping
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those who get this this what can be a
4:02
horrendous diagnosis obviously and so um
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first thing I want to do is just ask you
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what is your little white line we always
4:10
like to find out what our little white
4:11
lies are from our guests so what's your
4:13
little white lie in me guess my little
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white lie is I'm I have totally white
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hair like you I decided to never color
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it because my little white lie is just
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how do I carve a life out where I still
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feel
4:25
like me in cancer and that's and I don't
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you know I'm very public about cancer
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but not obviously not when I meet people
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on a day to day basis so I always feel
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like I'm lying because I'm trying to be
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normal in in my crazy world just like
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everybody else and what snore ain't
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normal
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actually I would say question that what
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exactly is normal in this everyday life
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that we live in it's normal I don't know
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what's normal and so when we were
4:55
designing this show we decided how we
4:56
were going to go on you told me that
4:58
there were four things that Amica we
5:01
should do after the shock of cancer
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there's four basic things you need to
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consider and this is from me doing this
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myself and speaking of others number one
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is the psychology what's in your head in
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other words how do you address the
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things in your heart and in your mind if
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you're going to have cancer for years
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how do how really do you keep going so
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that's number one number two are the
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psychosocial issues of cancer so it's a
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big thing because you you have to
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basically create a whole new world
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around yourself your relationships with
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family and friends change and what about
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your work and you know how do you
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negotiate your medical stuff and your
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paperwork so all that so that's the
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psyche creating a world around you that
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you can live it happily you know as this
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the third thing is your medical life how
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do you talk to your doctors how do you
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create a treatment plan how do you deal
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with insurance issues how do you
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research and travel that's a big part of
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what I do because I have such a rare
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cancer I'm always thinking of where can
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I fly next so anything that has to do
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with your medical stuff you know and the
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world and it's a big world as far as
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like searching for things to do to stay
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here like right and then perhaps the
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biggest thing for people is your
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financial life because as you know in
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our medical system as it stands today we
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pay for everything and really the more
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rare the cancer the more you're going to
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pay especially thanks for drugs travel
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how do you negotiate I mean I've had the
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weirdest things happen to me
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even in the hospital I go into a room
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and a friend of mine will whisper into
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my ear
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don't let that person stick you let that
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person stick you and yeah I'm seeing the
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comments go by and yeah I know support
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groups help tremendously i facilitate
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one where i teach this program and
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really it's all about negotiating a life
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of as much control as possible where
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there really is none so I have two
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things I kind of live by I'm I'm the
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president of my company it's like treat
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my healthcare as a business I'm the
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president and my cabinet are my health
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care professionals friends and family
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that want to help me so there have been
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times in my treatment where I've
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actually had a meeting telling people
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what I need to get done so it's so I'm
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the president number two is cancer
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patients are fearful of so many things
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there's so much fear involved in so many
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different ways so you know really how do
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you overcome that fear and I always tell
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my people in my groups if you're afraid
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to do something you're afraid to ask a
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question you're afraid to make a phone
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call or go somewhere it is most likely
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that you should do it and you feel so
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great after you do it so whatever anyone
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is afraid of they'll say well I'm afraid
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to talk to my doctor like that why who
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cares you know if you have something
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it's interesting you're saying that
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because one of the things that we talk a
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lot about is if it feels uncomfortable
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it's probably a good you should be doing
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it and your choice the same thing if
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that is your body telling you that it's
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uncomfortable but in fact that is
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exactly why you should be doing it so I
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guess you agree so this is for my I call
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my woohoo friends who believe like
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because I do believe in energy and I do
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get feelings about things I mean I
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walked out on a surgery one day because
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it feel right to me that morning so I
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said stop I'm leaving so as far as you
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know that kind of thing I really believe
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in energy so also I teach people to go
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out and enjoy new things if you've had
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something terrible done to your body
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let's say there's nothing fun
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surgery at all I mean really even if
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it's a plastic surgery there's nothing
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fun about going into a negative
9:00
situation any kinda night with a knife
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and doing and coming out I don't really
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care about the reason so I'm a big
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believer after I have a surgery and I'm
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allowed I go get a massage
9:12
I believe in Tai Chi and Qigong and I
9:15
learned conga drumming so I'm constantly
9:18
telling my people thank you thank you
9:21
for a courageous district thank you so I
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really believe in telling people to go
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out and get the positive energy and
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doing you know what makes you feel good
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as well so there's it's just so
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complicated you talked a lot about
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setting goals and asked so what does
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that mean exactly so a goal would be and
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I drew something for you because I know
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you would laughs this is how I go set
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and with my fort this is my stick figure
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is that hilarious okay
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that's the first stick figure I ever
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drew and you know those reminds my two
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legs were my categories mm-hmm so that's
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where I did my goal setting so example
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so under psychological a goal might be
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I'm home today and I'm bored you know I
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don't feel well so a goal a simple goal
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for a cancer patient might be go to
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meetup.com and go to one new place you
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know it's not the kind of and I want to
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just make a distinction I'm not you know
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a psychologist or a psychiatrist I don't
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address mental illness which you know a
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lot of cancer patients have depression
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and PTSD that's not me I'm I I help the
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person who you know who can really take
10:42
certain steps to keep to move on so I
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tell my people in my program today's
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today's the day you're going to do
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something new I don't care if you're
10:52
bald today's the day you're gonna make a
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phone call in other words I had a parent
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once that said I don't have anyone to
10:59
pick my kids up at school we talked
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about that so I had a parent in the very
11:03
beginning create an
11:05
higher chart on the web and she emailed
11:08
it to her tempo her school anything and
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so she sent out a chart and people would
11:16
sign up to come do things for her
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because she's a single mom she didn't
11:19
have a big support network so you know
11:22
so that was just amazing
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so she even had people sign up for
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coffee I'm lonely I'm doing chemo today
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but he what he needed and that's really
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the point I want the patient to feel
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empowered because people don't know how
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to help you you don't know how to help
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me unless I ask you unless I give you
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and it's not come see me next week it's
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I ran out of milk he are you going to
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the store today and can you please pick
11:53
me up a carton of milk it's hard that
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hard for people to harden for everyone
12:00
right it's hard for me I am so
12:02
independent you know I hate asking
12:05
anyone for anything mm-hmm but there was
12:08
a time once when I really couldn't move
12:11
I couldn't even lift my leg myself so I
12:14
was calling literally calling people up
12:16
and saying you know I have physical
12:18
therapy next week at two o'clock I can't
12:21
even get to the uber by myself can you
12:23
help me get to physical therapy can you
12:26
you know I had a friend once many years
12:28
ago which was hilarious bring these six
12:31
gallons of chicken soup to my friend for
12:33
because she didn't know what to do for
12:35
me she goes I just I didn't know what to
12:38
do you even talk to me and so that was
12:40
like a wonderful lesson to me I said you
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know you're right I'm really I'm not
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making my wishes known of the people
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that want to help me I'm not telling
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them how to help me because also with
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cancer survivorship in the psychological
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with long-term illness is that there's
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plenty of people that run away right you
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know there you have to let people help
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you the way they know how I always say
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you have to let people be so that person
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who makes you that chicken soup is not
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necessarily that person who's going to
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be able to sit with you and chemotherapy
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if you want happening so you let people
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do what they can
13:18
for also the people that run away cancer
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patients have to do new things they
13:24
can't they can't just be they have to
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keep going so I'm putting a comment up
13:31
here and by the way if you have a
13:33
question for Amy or you have a comment
13:35
please put it down in the post coz I
13:37
will share it up there at the top it's
13:40
important to let your friends know that
13:41
this can support you and you know and I
13:43
understand what you're saying as you
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know Amy my in my prior life life I'm a
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retired clergy woman and you know I
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would deal with death and dying all the
13:52
time and people would always say to me I
13:55
don't know what to do for that person
13:56
they just lost their their father or
13:58
their child god forbid or they I don't
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know what to say and I would just I
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would basically say what you're saying
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but sometimes it's just being there and
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sometimes it's just make picking up the
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phone and saying I'm coming over
14:09
are you is it okay and just taking the
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insight this most the time we're not
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going to ask and that's a good Callens
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right yeah and everyone has to learn to
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ask and that's part of a psychological
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and and we talk about why that is and
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how to help you make things better
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I know right your message applies to yes
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it does at a price it applies to not
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just cancer but any long-term chronic is
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in a constant battle especially when you
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look good people have said to be may be
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sick I don't know what to do for you
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that's why you have to ask me and you
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know what Amy yesterday I saw a picture
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of you on Facebook you were on with
14:48
yesterday or the day before and you're
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standing there joyously with your hands
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up
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you had your pants rolled up you you
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looked joyful and I said that to the
14:59
other day anyways is a practice joyful
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and grateful it's a practice it is truly
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a learned practice and it's the times
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you have to have really miserable things
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happen to you yeah appreciate the joy
15:16
have a minute for a story oh of course
15:19
now once I was you know I've been in the
15:21
hospital over 20 times once I was in the
15:23
hospital there was a
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four days and she was in the room next
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door
15:31
and she had come in she had snuck into
15:33
my room the hallway when I was done with
15:39
my walk I walked into my room and here's
15:41
this patient next door to me sitting in
15:44
my room when I came back from my walk
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and I was shocked because I knew she was
15:47
my next door neighbor and she was young
15:49
women in her 30s or 40s so I was walking
15:52
into my room and seders and I look at
15:54
her and I said hi
15:56
and she said I'm your neighbor and I
15:59
said I know and I didn't know whether to
16:00
call security or go back to the nurses I
16:03
didn't know what so I I knew there was a
16:05
reason I so I said can I help you but I
16:07
stayed at the door and she said I don't
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understand I said what don't you
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understand she goes you're in the
16:13
hospital I know you just had a surgery
16:16
and everyone in your room is laughing
16:18
she goes you're laughing and I can't
16:20
stop crying she goes how do you do that
16:23
Wow hear that how do you answer that I
16:27
said is this your first time here she
16:30
said yes I said this is about my eighth
16:33
time here and I just said I've had a lot
16:36
of practice lots and lots of practice
16:38
and I said I hope you don't have my
16:40
practice but then I went out and I went
16:43
to the desk because I had to have her
16:45
taken out of my room and they banished
16:48
her from the floor when I mean they
16:50
moved her I you know I hope she's a I'm
16:52
assuming eventually she was okay
16:54
yeah but really I mean nobody was
16:56
visiting her and she was crying and
16:58
that's a very big deal it's a very big
17:00
deal as Mary Jo says joy is so much
17:02
better right
17:03
yes joy is so much better than yes joy
17:07
is so much better than happy happy is
17:09
very misunderstood the word happy and
17:11
the word positive thank you and the word
17:13
positive and the word happy is not
17:17
really in my vocabulary right I think
17:22
Amy you need to refresh yourself you
17:23
just froze so I'm gonna have Amy go
17:26
ahead and refresh yourself I don't know
17:27
if you can hear me I'm gonna go
17:33
refresh her as well I'll be right back
17:34
as we come back in
17:44
and I think we might have lost I think
17:47
Amy is coming back in in a second so I'm
17:49
back and as soon as Amy comes back in
17:55
we'll bring her back into the show
17:56
as you can see Amy is very inspirational
18:00
she is an amazing amazing woman and I
18:03
have to be honest Amy and I have never
18:05
met in person we're gonna be meeting for
18:06
the first time in person on Friday now
18:09
that I move down to the area that she
18:10
lives in and I am so excited to be able
18:12
to meet her in person and to give her a
18:14
hug but she has been so inspirational to
18:18
me and I know that she's inspiration to
18:20
all of you and when she comes back on
18:23
I'm gonna go ahead and share something
18:24
because I want to show you she's got
18:26
this really amazing group that is on
18:29
Facebook I'm gonna show you it's called
18:32
which is interesting
18:34
dead women living a guide in long-term
18:36
cancer survivorship and comedy and when
18:40
and you notice it it says comedy there
18:42
because Amy actually is quite a talented
18:44
a comedian and I'm hoping that she's
18:47
gonna be able to join back in I know she
18:48
got totally kicked out but this this is
18:53
somebody who I am inspired by and I
18:57
wanted to share with my audience in my
18:59
network somebody who has totally
19:01
inspired me in a way that almost nobody
19:04
else has I hope I hope that I never have
19:07
to experience the 16 years of cancer
19:10
that she has already experienced but she
19:12
is doing some great work in the
19:14
community
19:15
she is advocating for people and she
19:18
used to be in the insurance industry
19:19
she's not doing that anymore but she
19:21
knows how to advocate and she knows how
19:23
to navigate in that arena it looks like
19:26
we have lost her so I am I'm gonna go
19:29
ahead and take this off here if we have
19:33
any questions that you would like to
19:35
leave for Amy in the meantime make sure
19:37
you put that in the comments because she
19:39
will come back and she will make
19:41
comments I just want to thank her for
19:44
the bottom of my heart for being on with
19:45
us today as I said she's inspirational
19:48
go check her out look for her on
19:50
Facebook
19:51
she she will brighten your day just just
19:54
by the conversation that you have with
19:56
her
19:57
thank you as always for joining us this
19:59
is the first of a whole year of new
20:02
little white lives III hope that you
20:05
will join us every every single week on
20:07
Wednesdays at 2:30 I want to thank you
20:10
for taking time out of your busy day
20:11
because we do know that you have a
20:13
choice as to where you spend your time
20:14
and I want to thank you for spending
20:16
time with us today so without further
20:18
adieu we'll see you next week on the
20:20
next episode of the little white line
20:23
see you later everyone
#Cancer
#Self-Help & Motivational