Up next in 10
New Year, New You? NO way!
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Jan 5, 2022
Caren and Mel are back and ready to take on the new year in 2022. Throwing caution to the wind and old standards out the window, they take a hard look at what "Being your Best Self" really means. Do you know why resolutions don't work? Grab your wine glass, sit back and get ready to embark on your greatest adventure yet. #newyear #newyearsresolutions #beyourbestself 📌 Subscribe to the Channel: https://YouTube.com/cgmusc Look what we’ve Uncorked this month! Curated list of our favs: http://www.uncorked.store This show is brought to you by Vitalcy, the guide to living in a stage of growth, purpose, and discovery. https://www.vitalcy.com
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most in the most unexpected ways where
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what you see is not always what you get
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uncorked is brought to you by vitalsy
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the guide to living in a stage of growth
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purpose and discovery so whether you're
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here live or in replay doesn't matter we
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love you make sure you say hi in the
0:16
comments and tell us where you are
0:19
watching from so first happy new year
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everyone happy new year this is so
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exciting we're obviously talking about
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the new year so
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we're drinking but first we have to
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drink
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what are you drinking i'm drinking
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prosecco of course you are i am drinking
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martinelli's apple cider and the reason
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why is that not we don't all drink right
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well
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we do we do not all the time but not all
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the time and you don't always have to
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drink to toast and so we thought we
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would just show the yin and the yang
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this is martinelli's prosecco cheers
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cheers happy new year
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and it's yummy delicious so delish so
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what exactly are we talking about today
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we're talking about first of all the new
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year
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january new beginnings new day new me
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new you right
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and
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to that end we in our discussions we
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really realized how we sort of fall into
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these preconceived notions of who we are
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or
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who we should be and what we should do
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and then we circled around to
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resolutions which we actually 100
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unequivocally hate in unison agreed yeah
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no
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not doing it they don't serve us they
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don't
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let's talk about why they set you up for
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failure they totally set you up for
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failure because we all tend to have big
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you know pie in the sky resolutions i'm
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gonna lose you know 30 pounds in six
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months or i'm gonna go to the gym five
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days a week or i'm you know
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it's not realistic
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it's not and
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you start with the best intentions and i
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think we can all agree on that and and
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you you make but then life takes over so
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these resolutions that we set ourselves
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up for are not sustainable correct
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correct and so we're going to suggest a
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different way to do this um it's
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something called a life
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balance wheel where we're going to set
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goals
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instead of resolutions and i'm going to
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tell you karen introduced me to this
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and at first again i was like wait a
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second you know i just don't buy into
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those kind of thing that's not how my
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mind works right but
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it's a game changer
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it really is because i'm i know we were
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talking at because we did it we did it
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before we're presenting it to you and i
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know that you were surprised and i was
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surprised when i did it was like wow or
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hmm i i didn't know that i didn't know
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that these were the issues so we we're
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going to stop right now i'm going to put
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up
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a sample of this and by the way it is in
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the un uh the encore kit which will show
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you how to do that later on but as you
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look at this it's called the balance
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wheel now clearly it's a wheel because
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it's a circle and it has spokes on it
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but
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this is a way to literally identify
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different areas of your life and where
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you feel you are well and that's it goes
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back to i'm so much more because
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immediately i looked at the ones and we
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did we did it we both
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decided what we're going to do we use
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the ones that they provide and you can
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you can fill these
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talking points in any way that you're
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comfortable with and in areas that you
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really want to focus on
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but in doing the ones that were here
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i thought this is going to be this and
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and you take your time and really be
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honest with yourself and filling them
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out and it was shocking
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i'm so much more
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totally totally and so when you look at
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this and you'll be able to download it
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from the kit and there'll be some
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instructions you've got a lot of
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different things here you've got
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physical health
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you have um spirituality creativity life
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vision emotional well-being
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relationships relationships
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and uh personal growth and life vision
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yeah and there's so many different
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things now if those don't work for you
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maybe it's it's going to be just four of
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these and you can do that if this is not
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locked into like you have to do it a
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certain way and i was really surprised
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at the things that came up
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i was yeah also totally totally
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surprised so we encourage you to take a
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look at this and i'm going to give you
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some other ideas and then i'm going to
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show you how to do this so uh other
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ideas might be
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uh your business your blog your mental
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health self-care which we talked about
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last month uh education home life family
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so there's lots of different things you
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know in your life what you are so much
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more maybe none of these maybe there are
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other things that you do
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so the the way you do this is you're
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going to take a pencil or pen actually i
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would encourage a pen in a particular
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color because we're going to tell you
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how to do it throughout the year
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first of all you're going to do this
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every month that's the first right and
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the first month in january take a pencil
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a colored pencil whatever and you're
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going to put that within each one a dot
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as to where you feel you fall
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from the center which is which is like
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nothing you don't you really have a
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problem you knew that you don't work you
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really feel
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empty and over top
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it's good you nailed it you nailed it
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totally nailed it um and then you're
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gonna take a pencil or that same color
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and you are going to attach the dots all
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the way around so you can visually see
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where there might be a deficit in your
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in your your life
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that's where we found the most
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interesting things um and
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don't berate yourself you know when you
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look at it you go okay this is what i
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have to work on
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right now and that is what we're going
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to encourage you to do
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in february when you take this out now
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mel is going to do it of course he's
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going to do it's mel versus karen
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mel's going to do what you're going to
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actually do something different i'm
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going to print out each an individual
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one each month i'm going to use a
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different color for each month and fill
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it out and then
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compare
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i guess i would yeah at the end of the
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year right compared
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honestly i'll probably compare as i go
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right because i think i'll form a
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notebook
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but i like the idea of having one for a
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month
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right and you'll be able to see your
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progress so if you've decided or or if
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the wheel has told you that you need a
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lot of help in there and the next month
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you've actually been doing stuff that
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dot's going to probably go up right but
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i think what's what i anticipate and
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we'll check back we're going to actually
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maybe in future shows kind of touch
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these yeah periodically
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i think at any given time as life gives
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you what she gives you
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right you you see you know your circle
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might be here and you might have a
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deficit in one area in the next month
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you've really worked on that and it's
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gone up but because life comes at you
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the way it does another area where you
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were really fulfilled
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right is lacking absolutely needs more
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work so you're going to kind of see
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where you need to fill your cup and
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where you really need to give attention
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and interaction so i'm going to do mine
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a little differently i'm going to use
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the same paper for each month and i'm
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going to use a different color for each
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month so that i can actually anxiety
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because okay i just i would like to
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understand because aren't you going to
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feel like it's just 12 months it's gonna
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fill up i filled up the okay i'm just
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gonna
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show this i filled up the whole page
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on one month so how are you gonna put 12
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there what because you're not you don't
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have to actually do these what you're
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going to do you're simply you're looking
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at the lines for in my so for me i like
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to have everything in one place i'm like
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you know a structured
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whatever queen queen of the structure i
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want to see that line go up on my graph
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it's like a graph for me i want to
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actually see the movie yeah
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the actual i'm just going to make a copy
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of this so it's always going to be the
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same thing it's always i don't have to
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re-invent the the wheel so to speak um
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but my wheel literally will have
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maybe maybe the dots are like this small
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but in february they might get a little
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bigger and bigger and bigger you it's
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for me it's a graph i can actually see
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how it grows
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do what works for you right and this is
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really what it's about you may look at
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this and say no i think i want to do
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something slightly maybe you're going to
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do a regular graph you know and just you
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know where you color the thing there's
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there's so many different ways to do
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this don't say well you know what i
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don't like the way they do it so i'm not
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going to do it okay and i'm going to i
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am going to take a moment and share
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because
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where we pigeonhole ourselves and i
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consider myself a
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and
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historically throughout my life have
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been this i can see a big picture i
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don't always know how to get there and i
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change and do different things but i i
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consider myself a big picture person and
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so doing this like that's how i am
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i
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then did this and what where i had the
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deficit was the life vision
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and and i really did sit back wait a
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minute and then i go like i am so much
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more
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came up because what i expected was not
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what i got at all and it threw me a
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little bit and i was a little annoyed
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i'm like oh maybe i need to redo it and
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i think i know you can just fix it i
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know right
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make it exactly what it's right right
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right and and then i thought the only
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person i heard by doing that is me
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and so then when i but when i started to
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look through what i listed in within
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that category and why
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it all started to make so much sense and
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part of it you know and i'll be a little
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vulnerable here
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was that as you know i'm in the sixth
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decade now and in that fourth quarter
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what does my life vision look like
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because that window of the time to do
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things and the time to be is is
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narrowing absolutely and it's i don't
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wanna it's not depressing at all it just
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is what it is so then my life vision
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became i'm not looking at building
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something that's gonna take me
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the next 20 30 years to build i
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it's clarity you're getting it
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you're getting clarity one way to do the
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the live vision is a vision board
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love fishing which is really cool and it
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and um the what i like to do is because
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i collect magazines so i i go and i
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start tearing out pictures and things
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and you can use your
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your actual wheel to do this um and you
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you cut out pictures you cut out words
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whatever works for you i'm a spoken word
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so i like the words more than the
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picture so i tend to
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make you know like the kidnapping
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letters when somebody gets kidnapped and
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they take they cut out all the different
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words and they're like
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some letters ransom letters so i tend to
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do words and you create you can do it on
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your computer you can do it on
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you know on your paper you can put it in
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the front of your journal which is
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really cool too so i know some people
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have done vision boards and they've done
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them uh digitally and it becomes their
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desktop version that's very cool i've
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done them
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every january for probably the past 10
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years and i
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keep the i label the year and then i
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write my intention for that year on the
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back of it and i and actually mine are
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wallpapering my laundry room but now
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when i go back it's fascinating because
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you can look and i see what i did in say
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2017 and and then really what manifested
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and it is a little mind-blowing
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it is and you and when you know you talk
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we talk about setting those goals and
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those intentions that's a really good
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word setting those intentions because if
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you don't know where you're going
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how are you going to get that how are
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you going to get there
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right it's the journey but how do you
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right you need to have a vision exactly
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what that looks like and that's what was
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so
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that's what really revealed itself to me
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first startlingly and i was not happy
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about it but then in a in a really
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positive way and then an understanding
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about how to redirect that life vision
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so and also when you some of the things
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that i looked at were that were very
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high on the thing that i i thought i had
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to work on more than i actually do
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because when i really sat down and put
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it all down it's like you know that's
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actually going really pretty good yeah i
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was really surprised on that both both
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sides is there one you would want to
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share well
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yeah um
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personal growth would be the one that i
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was actually a little surprised it was
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so high on the because i'm always
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reading you know self-help books and
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personal and
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it's
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clearly it's working uh to the point
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though that i think that i almost can't
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even read anything else because i'm so
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caught up in this i'm going to
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self-develop myself but at the end of
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the day i guess i've been doing a pretty
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good job because when i wrote it down oh
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you know
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that's actually okay yeah it is really
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awesome now i happen to love a writer by
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the name of stephen covey why does that
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sound familiar well he first of all he's
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an amazing he's no longer with us um but
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he is a an organizational um
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uh
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life planning the whole thing and he
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wrote a book called the seven habits of
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highly successful people of course right
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and that book will be in the kit i have
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read i read i actually read it every
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year and what the book does is he talks
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about begin with the end in mind and if
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i can say there is one thing that i
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learned from him that every time i do
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something when i work with people when i
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um in relationships i always say well
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what is your end goal
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if you don't know where you're going so
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let's begin with the end in mind and
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then you can do all those steps all
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those goals all those intentions to get
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there so i encourage you to check it out
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there's also one for teenagers um
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steven's son i can't remember his name
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he wrote one for teenagers
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so that teeniors teenagers can do it and
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that would be tremendous now because
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our youth has gone through so many
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negative transitions through covet and
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not being in school and not being face
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to face
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to have that ability to look at it from
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through a different lens would be
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tremendously beneficial absolutely and
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you know stephen covey is not the only
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author out there that does stuff like
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this so if you you know if you start
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reading it and you go you know you know
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not for me
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you want to be looking for something
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that maybe can help you begin with the
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end in mind because sometimes you don't
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even know what the end is right you
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don't even know where you want to go so
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there are books out there that will help
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you
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and i would encourage you to do that so
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i'm going to we're going to go back to
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the kit for a second
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and i want to show you the the next one
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so i kind of alluded to it last month
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i love this guy oh i know i love this
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guy his name is david gandelman
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and you can find him among other places
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on social media and everything but on a
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an app called timer insight timer and
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it's free yep and there are hundreds of
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thousands of meditations
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yeah let's talk about the different
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kinds of meditation so there are guided
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meditations which i tend to do because
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if i don't have somebody telling me what
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i'm supposed to be doing in the next
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three minutes or the next five minutes
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or breathe now or don't breathe i i
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won't do it and i remember when i first
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started meditating uh with insight timer
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i started with the five-minute
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meditation i was like i didn't think i
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was going to be able to sit there
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for more than five minutes yeah
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but you know what a lot of people have
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that and that's why people meditate they
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literally say i can't i can't do that
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but you can't but you can
15:06
um and so i started doing it and i've
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now gotten to the point that i don't
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like to meditate less than an hour at a
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time
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that's and that's wonderful and it's
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guided it's all guided but
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insight timer has classes that you can
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take like 21 days and you and i are
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actually doing the 21 day class with
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david gandelman about uh creating
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gratitude
15:27
morning morning meditation really
15:29
starting your day
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and
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you know the first the first actually i
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think that
15:35
one of the early
15:36
meditations was about finding just think
15:39
picking a memory that brought you a
15:41
challenge and that keeps pulling you
15:43
into the past
15:45
not in a positive way and finding a way
15:48
to find gratitude in that and
15:51
so those are the things and each one is
15:53
very simple they're only 12 minutes yeah
15:55
sure you know and it really is a
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fabulous way to start your day just do
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you know and then get on with your
16:00
coffee or whatever you've got to do
16:02
right wake up a little early
16:04
and give yourself that time to find that
16:07
peace within which goes back to december
16:09
self-care you're taking care of yourself
16:12
now if the the guided meditation does
16:15
not um float your boat and you go and i
16:17
don't want that there's music meditation
16:19
i also listen to classical music okay
16:22
and that can bring me
16:24
into that that space i practice breath
16:28
and breathing there are a lot of
16:30
techniques out there and you can you
16:31
learn them right on inside timer there's
16:33
another uh one called calm there's a
16:36
headspace there's a lot of apple watch
16:39
has breathe right just any time that you
16:40
allow yourself and give yourself the
16:42
space to go within
16:44
right and
16:46
not just when you're meditating you can
16:48
be driving and you literally you know if
16:50
you're expressing and you know that
16:52
you're anxious
16:53
always i'm i suffer for anxiety i you
16:56
know i'm not i'm not private about that
16:58
so i i will practice birth control even
17:01
if i'm in the car or i'm sitting on the
17:02
couch or i'm in bed wherever i am
17:05
i'll i'll do a breath exercise so
17:08
important it it really is it's bringing
17:10
the oxygen in as well and they have
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there's that so that's a really huge
17:14
thing in meditation is the breath but
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the other part of meditation is actually
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identifying that from from the top of
17:20
your head all the way down to your toes
17:23
you isolate all the different
17:25
muscles and all that stuff again i had
17:28
never done that but i started doing this
17:31
four years ago yeah and it's been a
17:33
game-changer
17:34
it's totally a game-changer well and i
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think this goes to
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to speaking about the intentions that
17:41
you set and maybe in january something
17:44
that you think about for yourself is not
17:47
this big scope but just a little bit of
17:50
you
17:51
give yourself give to you
17:53
and that's your intention that's your
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goal
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and and so
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one of the things that when you're
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meditating they will say get yourself in
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a quiet spot
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put your earbuds in or maybe a headset
18:06
or a bose thing so we found this really
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cool thing
18:10
that
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it's i think this is a game changer
18:13
because i do i go to bed with meditation
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and i always have my earbuds in and
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they're you know you can't this is
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actually a headband that has speakers in
18:21
it which is it's wireless yeah and you
18:23
can use it for exercise but you can also
18:26
put it on your head you can see that
18:27
it's completely flat it's it's literally
18:29
a headband anymore you know i have the
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problem with the earbuds always falling
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out yeah no matter what and i don't like
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the big bulky ones so there there are a
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lot we have this in the kit this
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particular one i mean there's other ones
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there's ones that are more expensive
18:41
ones that are less expensive
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this one spoke to me because it's black
18:45
and white and i happen to like black and
18:47
white but you know you can do whatever
18:49
you want but we encourage you to look at
18:51
ways to make your um goal setting your
18:55
your goal setting your intention setting
18:57
your meditation so that you don't have
19:00
any excuses not to do it right right and
19:02
that's setting yourself up to succeed
19:04
succeed right not to fail
19:06
absolutely so
19:09
well and even to that sorry but
19:11
don't say okay i'm come out of the gates
19:13
i'm going to meditate an hour a morning
19:15
or an hour a day
19:16
don't start small say even if it think
19:19
about maybe while you're standing doing
19:22
your dishes or ironing your clothes
19:24
whatever it is getting your kids ready
19:25
to go out the door
19:27
take a few moments right and just
19:30
comment quietly i think i actually i
19:32
think i actually said this the other day
19:34
i like standing doing dishes in the warm
19:37
water
19:39
it's very soothing it's very meditative
19:41
who would ever think doing dishes was
19:43
meditating but it totally is i
19:46
i enjoy that it's actually something i
19:48
look forward to so think about the
19:50
things that you do in your life that
19:51
really calm you down do more meditate
19:53
that's better
19:54
do more of that you don't have to be in
19:57
a quiet secluded space with your back
19:59
against the wall and your hands here and
20:01
candles and that's
20:03
you don't have to do you don't have to
20:05
do that you can find it's about
20:07
bringing your breath
20:09
getting in line with it healing into
20:11
your body
20:13
and
20:14
allowing just the air to flow
20:16
and and the
20:17
chatter to stop do a couple meditation
20:21
if you happen to have a significant
20:23
other in your life there are meditations
20:25
you can do we put some we put a lot of
20:27
stuff in the uncork kit and you can see
20:29
it by going to bit.lee forward slash
20:31
uncorked live in addition to that we
20:33
have some really cool books we put in
20:34
there one of the my favorite books that
20:36
i started using at 4 am in the morning
20:38
when i you know get up is called miracle
20:41
morning by
20:42
hal elrod and
20:45
basically his whole concept is he tells
20:47
people get up early to do this well i
20:50
didn't have to get up any earlier people
20:52
go i've actually seen um individuals
20:54
post well i don't know how i'm going to
20:56
get up at five in the morning right but
20:58
whatever give you can do it in six
20:59
minutes he does six steps um you're
21:02
going to do a minute of fitness you're
21:04
going to do a minute of you drink a
21:06
glass of water you're going to do a
21:07
journal you're going to do a meditation
21:09
you're all and you literally do it i i
21:12
choose not to do it in six minutes i
21:14
choose to take the whole hour and i do
21:15
10-minute segments for each one that
21:18
makes more sense for me it might not
21:19
make more sense for you this is a great
21:21
book there's also another miracle
21:23
morning for couples
21:25
so you should check that one out as well
21:26
especially if you have a significant
21:28
other so that you can get maybe more in
21:30
tune with your significant other and it
21:32
really does bring spirituality and um a
21:36
greater attachment i think with your
21:38
you know significance yeah and we you
21:41
touched on this earlier that that you
21:42
love classical music and playing music
21:45
helps you through and
21:46
um
21:47
an app that i absolutely love is spotify
21:50
and one of the best aspects of it and
21:52
the features are the playlists but
21:54
another thing is that it'll give you
21:56
suggestions based on what your listening
21:59
habits are yes so i i find it really fun
22:01
like discover weekly they kind of go
22:03
through it it picks up your habits right
22:06
and then you get a whole new playlist
22:07
that you didn't pick out but based on
22:09
your what you're listening to they make
22:11
suggestions and my favorite one is that
22:14
um like it'll do summer rewind or yeah
22:17
the rewinds and
22:19
those kind of ta you know it's like
22:20
music can either take you to the best or
22:22
the worst part of your life
22:24
and usually it's the best
22:26
yeah and i tend to listen to piano
22:28
classical music oh and i listen to the
22:31
uh baroque
22:32
and so it knows my habits yeah so it
22:35
will send me a playlist with chopin in
22:37
it or send me a playlist with whoever is
22:40
that so and the other one is pandora so
22:42
you can also check out pandora apple
22:44
music i mean there are so many things
22:47
amazon music you can even you can even
22:50
go to youtube and make yourself a
22:51
playlist of people singing songs and
22:54
just you know you don't have to be
22:56
looking at the computer it will play the
22:58
music for you yeah so that's another
23:00
great way
23:01
to um and to create a workout
23:04
cook you know it's really it's fun it's
23:06
great and what's really i love spotify
23:08
too because and i think they probably
23:10
all do it connects with my alexa and so
23:12
i'm able just to say you know alexa play
23:14
some classical music for me and alexa
23:17
will play classical music
23:19
we hope we've given you some you know
23:21
things to think about right and doing
23:23
your balance wheel we'd love to hear
23:25
from you um
23:26
you know some of the stuff i'm sure is
23:28
very private and i'm sure it is very
23:30
private and you don't want to share but
23:32
if there's something that comes out of
23:34
this for you that you go wow this is
23:36
really cool and you want to share let us
23:39
know put it in the comments or direct
23:41
message us
23:42
or or and pass it on pass it on friends
23:44
yeah because it was
23:46
it was a really interesting way to sit
23:49
back at the very beginning of the new
23:50
year yeah and
23:53
reflect and kind of push forward and and
23:56
move on and and it revealed a lot of fun
23:58
surprises
24:00
it was it did and um you know we like to
24:03
say we're everywhere but one of the
24:04
things that we're really proud about and
24:06
we've been talking about it for a few
24:07
months is that we have a wonderful
24:09
sponsor vital c and it's a great
24:11
platform and it's really about what gets
24:14
you up in the morning right it's it's
24:16
all those things it's not about age it's
24:18
not about oh my god i'm so old or
24:20
whatever this is about
24:21
having ability to be vital an ability to
24:24
um instead of worry about those things
24:27
at night to keep you up
24:29
let's worry let's actually get excited
24:31
about those things that make you want to
24:33
jump out of bed in the morning right
24:34
well and it is it is a platform that
24:36
really um encourages
24:39
exploring and learning about life right
24:42
at this time and and you know we're kind
24:44
of peaking
24:45
at what and what exactly that means and
24:47
how how we ended up here and what our
24:49
lives look like and
24:50
it's a beautiful platform and so
24:52
informative and entertaining it really
24:54
is check check us out on vitalc
24:57
you can follow us on twitter and on uh
24:59
youtube instagram facebook facebook and
25:02
the vitalsite which is vitalseed.com you
25:05
can check everything out there you'll
25:06
see all of our shows live there they
25:08
also live on by the way on roku and
25:09
amazon fires we are everywhere oh my
25:12
gosh we are everywhere we're so much
25:13
more we are we are so much more
25:17
thank you for joining us today this was
25:19
a blast today really fun thank you and
25:21
we really wish you all the best in the
25:23
new year however you manage to do it
25:25
safely and do it well and be healthy and
25:27
happy and
25:28
cheer and we'll see you next