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hello everyone karen glasser here and we
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have a great show for you today if
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you're here on replay we love that
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you're here on replay make sure to
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comment below and join the conversation
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and do me a favor and share this
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broadcast out with your network with the
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friends that you have and let everyone
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out there know that we're having a
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conversation about the little white lie
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and as i do every single week i'm going
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to do my review i'm going to show you
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this gorgeous hair that i have going on
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and it is growing and it's growing but
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as when i bring on my guest today you're
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going to love the conversation because
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she's actually my amazing hair stylist
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and and i'm sure she has lots to say
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about this and we were commenting on the
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fact that it appears that my hair is
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going backwards and i've got some dark
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hair coming in we'll talk about that as
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um if you're wondering how to follow us
0:56
lie dot thelittlewhitelie.com
0:58
and you can follow me on twitter as well
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so today we're going to ask the question
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does my gray hair make me look old how
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many times have you stood in front of
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the mirror and say my gray hair it makes
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me look old or you know my face makes me
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look older the clothes that i'm wearing
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well today we're going to talk about our
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gray hair and does it really make us
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today my guest is randy lou she's my
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hair stylist right up here in napa she
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works at bernie's a hair salon and it's
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an amazing salon i walked in there that
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almost the first week that i moved up
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here and got to know randy and she has
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held my hand all the way through the
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many years that i've been up here and
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she's the person that actually helped me
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go gray or or at least uncover the
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beautiful gray that i'm in
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and you know it's always nice to have
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somebody help you during the transition
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and so i'm going to introduce and bring
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her into the show right now
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hold on one second as i bring her and
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i'm going to drop off that and this is
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randy lou say hello to everyone hi
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so randy you are awesome i you know i i
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i tell everyone that it's because of you
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that this has been such an easy
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transition from me because you really
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helped me and you held my hand and i'm
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going to put some comments up as we're
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but before we jump into the question
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randy i have a question for you i ask
2:26
what is your little white lie
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my little white lie would be getting
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used to my new normal or owning my new
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almost 38 and i've noticed my new normal
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is definitely changed and it's hard to
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own it and get used to it
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so i love when you say that and how many
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of you resonate with that out there that
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those of you who are watching right now
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live or on replay getting used to the
2:50
new normal so in your case are you going
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to divulge what that's what that really
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means randy that would be my hair
2:56
texture going gray so my hair definitely
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has changed texture wise i color it but
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it's changed texture wise my skin is
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completely different body parts are
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lots of things hormones yep mood swings
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all of it and it's just my new normal
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and it's been hard to get used to that
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so it's about embracing the new normal
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and go ahead and put some comments down
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there what is what are the things that
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you're embracing what is your new normal
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that you might be bracing out there i'm
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going to put a comment up here betty ann
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says uh i think i get into one new
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normal and then another one pops up
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learning acceptance yeah
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love that comment so let's talk about
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first how we met i walked in i think i
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actually was calling around for
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hairdressers because as i've been saying
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i went to the hairdresser every three
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and so i moved up into napa and i went
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oh you know i got to find somebody you
3:45
were the you literally before a doctor
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before favorite restaurants it was i
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gotta find my hairdresser and it's i'm
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sure women out there you understand
3:54
where i'm coming from you you become
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very dependent on on your hair
3:58
so i called up bernie's and you happened
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to answer the phone and i came in and
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it's been a three year love affair i
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come i was coming in every three weeks
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to see you and what would i say to you
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every three weeks randy
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well you would talk about possibly going
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gray it took three years or i don't know
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how long it's been but yeah
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and every time i'd say it you'd say well
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you said that last time right yes yes we
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had lots of conversations about it
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before you decided to do it
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so do you hear this a lot in the salon
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you have people coming in saying all the
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time so what do they say to you and how
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most people ask can i color my hair gray
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really no natural way you can't color
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your hair gray it doesn't look natural
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and it's really harsh on your hair um
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people ask does it make me look old is
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it going to make me age me more that's a
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really common and they're just scared to
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do it they you know they're sick of
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being tied down to coloring their hair
4:54
every three to four weeks
4:58
people identify with their hair a lot
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and their dark color or blonde hair or
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whatever color it is and they're scared
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yeah the process how long the process is
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because it's definitely a process it
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definitely is a process so i started
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this back in november of 2016. i turned
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60 everyone out here knows my story i
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turned 60 and i think that was like
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the cut off date for me it was like okay
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i'm gonna do it i remember having this
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conversation with you i'm going to go
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buy some hats right yes we thought we
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talked about oh that's scarves headbands
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yeah we talked about all the things that
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i could do to cover the stuff that was
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coming in as it was coming in
5:34
and then very rapidly i realized that
5:36
wasn't going to work it just was so
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uncomfortable but let's talk about how
5:40
we decided what i was going to end okay
5:42
we have a question here
5:44
um from april is it unsafe to color your
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hair every four weeks
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um i don't think it is but i'm not a
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doctor so i wouldn't want to give any
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advice to anybody of course it's
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chemicals you're putting chemicals it's
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not good for your hair but we all do it
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i do it i color my hair every four weeks
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if not more because i'm very gray um i'm
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no doctor so i don't want to say if it's
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safe or not but right
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but tons of people are doing it yeah
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it's a chemical you're putting a
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hair and your scalp depending on how
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you're coloring your hair and so
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you know but i did it all through
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four pregnancies and all the salon do it
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and haven't had any problems
6:22
so you know and it's interesting so when
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we make these decisions one of the
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decisions could be the reason you're
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going to do it is because you just want
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to stop putting chemicals in your your
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body right that might be one of the
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reasons you do it it might be another
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reason might just be as it was for me i
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don't want to go to the hairdresser
6:36
every three weeks so let's talk about
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the things that we discussed when i made
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that decision that i was going to do
6:43
this one of the things i asked you was
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you know can i just dye my hair blonde
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can i just strip all the color out and
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make it blind and so when the growth
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it would come in maybe less obvious
6:53
because my hair was so dark and i
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remember you saying to me that
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there's some challenges with that right
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well one your hair was quite dark about
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a level four or five which is pretty
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um one bleaching your hair out to blonde
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is very damaging on your hair so
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most blondes that people see do not have
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healthy hair i mean it's just part of it
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and they're fine with that and right
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right right but stripping your color out
7:18
of here is really unhealthy and if you
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it's just unhealthy and that's another
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process so either way you do it you're
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going to have a long process you have to
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decide which way you want to go it does
7:28
make the grow out easier because it's
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closer to the gray hair but you still
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have the grow outline
7:33
so my second option because i chose not
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to do that um i i decided that i i had
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been coloring my hair every three weeks
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and to really jump in and just color all
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of it and strip everything out i just
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didn't want to damage my hair but we so
7:47
we did something different though
7:49
because my hair was so dark
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you know almost black
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we did something different you actually
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did a process over my hair
7:58
that slightly lightened my dark hair
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what was that called so we just
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basically did a heavy highlight or some
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people call it a weave just to lighten
8:07
your hair to make it softer the line um
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and and that helped because as my hair
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um even though you could still see what
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would be roots and even though i would
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still be walking out know that people
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were gonna i would feel this is you know
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this is a mindset that people were
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obviously must be looking at my head and
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they could see that inch of
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you know silver that was growing in
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guess what guys people don't really pay
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attention that much they're not really
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would you agree i mean if this is really
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inside of us we are so focused on what
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we look like oh definitely definitely
8:43
and we had originally planned to even go
8:45
lighter remember we were going to do it
8:47
in different processes i said let's not
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do it all at once because it's really
8:49
harsh on your hair so let's do it a
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little bit lighter and then come back in
8:52
three to four weeks we'll do a little
8:53
bit lighter but you chose not to
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which is probably the better option yeah
8:58
and i think at the time and and
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certainly now it was the better option
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the next thing though that you told me
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is that i had to take care of my hair
9:05
now in a different way because as the
9:07
gray started to grow in and especially
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since you put a weave in it i had to
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protect it in a different way and that
9:15
a particular kind of oil that i put in
9:16
my hair in a spray and there are all
9:18
different kinds of products very
9:20
high-end and also not so high-end so
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let's talk a little bit about
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the kind of products that i have used
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and also um some of the products that
9:29
you might suggest that are maybe not
9:30
quite as expensive as some of the other
9:33
products i use a product that you
9:34
recommend called unite
9:37
right yes well i had said you need to
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use moisturizing shampoo a lot of
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moisture on your hair just because we
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had highlighted it and it's damaged now
9:46
that you aren't used to doing you want
9:47
the highlight and damaging hair right
9:50
and to use the argan oil which is a
9:51
unite product that we carry at the salon
9:55
that also is going to help your hair
9:57
texture and health right which is great
10:00
when you have your gray hair too as your
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gray hair grows in it's going to be much
10:03
more healthy so your products are going
10:04
to have to change again exactly you know
10:07
and then you introduced me to something
10:09
that i to this day i actually love it
10:11
but i thought it was the most bizarre
10:13
thing it's purple shampoo
10:15
what is with purple shampoo and why do
10:17
you suggest that people use it and what
10:19
does it do well the purple shampoo or
10:22
violet or silver or blue
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there's different names for it uh to
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help tone out yellow that a lot of gray
10:30
for your case also it helps keep your
10:33
highlights and that brown hair toned as
10:35
well because they can get brassy since
10:36
we chose not to go lighter
10:38
so but when you go gray a lot of people
10:40
will choose to use a purple
10:42
violet silver whatever product you're
10:44
using they're called different things
10:46
just to keep the yellow
10:47
tinge that happens just naturally with
10:49
the environment environment and stuff to
10:53
so don't don't scare your significant
10:55
other as you're standing in the shower
10:57
washing your hair with a head that looks
11:00
purple face on the top of their head
11:02
because you know and i do it like you
11:04
know once every couple of weeks i am one
11:06
of those people that only washes their
11:08
hair maybe once or twice a week now some
11:11
of you may go how can you do that i've
11:12
been doing this for many many years and
11:14
my hair has gotten used to it and i
11:15
think that's probably why it stays as
11:17
healthy as it is i don't know how you
11:18
feel about that definitely washing your
11:20
hair less is good i mean you want to
11:22
keep it clean for your scalp reasons but
11:24
washing your hair less is better
11:26
especially since you have all that
11:27
damage on the ends from highlighting it
11:29
right so you know now when i go and i do
11:31
i wash my hair and again i have it down
11:34
to about one or one and a half times a
11:36
week i will wash my hair i'll condition
11:38
it sometimes i'll use the purple shampoo
11:40
and then when i come out i spray a
11:42
detangler on it because again i want to
11:44
take really good care of my hair and
11:45
then i use the argan oil which is very
11:48
very light it's so light you can
11:49
actually put it on your skin this stuff
11:50
is really amazing it's great stuff and
11:52
you can use it wet or dry also i always
11:54
recommend to my clients like that use it
11:56
before you blow dry or let it dry
11:57
naturally and then use it the next day
11:59
even if you don't wash your hair use it
12:01
yeah i put it in my hair almost every
12:03
day it does not make your hair oily and
12:05
what it does is it takes that frizz and
12:07
that coarseness away and it makes it
12:09
shiny and really i mean look i mean this
12:12
is it makes it an instant fix but also
12:14
when you use it over time it really
12:16
makes your hair healthier right and it's
12:18
it's awesome if we have any questions um
12:20
you know for randy go ahead and put them
12:22
up anything about hair care even if it's
12:24
not about gray it's something that you
12:26
want to ask randy you know we've got a
12:28
captive audience here and i'm sure
12:29
she'll be happy to answer the questions
12:32
so if somebody comes to you and says
12:34
okay randy i'm ready to start i'm going
12:36
to do this you're going to give them
12:37
some of these options and and how do you
12:40
guide them to to making what you really
12:42
believe is the right option for them
12:44
because sometimes people are kind of
12:46
dead set i'm going to do it this way how
12:48
do you guide them um well i like to have
12:50
a lot of consultation about it and uh
12:53
really get to why they want to do it
12:56
and what's important to them
12:58
some people really don't want to have
13:02
that root that you have going on they
13:04
really are really anti-it so
13:07
really your only option is going really
13:08
really light which is going right into
13:10
your hair or get a short haircut so
13:11
they're just getting
13:13
ways to do it and but either way any way
13:16
you choose is a process it's not going
13:18
to happen overnight and i think what in
13:20
your case what we decided to do which
13:22
was interesting because you decided to
13:24
stop lightning it and just let it go
13:26
um you really just owned it yeah and it
13:30
doesn't bother you and so i think that
13:32
is a key you need to really be ready to
13:35
and really feel like this is what i
13:38
and and i'm so glad you're bringing it
13:39
up guys if you go over to the website
13:41
there are the five steps to deciding to
13:43
go gray and how you're going to do it
13:44
there's an infographic there go get it
13:46
go sign up and exactly what what randy
13:48
is saying the mindset decide why you're
13:50
going to do it how you're going to do it
13:52
so that and then maybe get an
13:53
accountability buddy somebody that you
13:55
can um that can you know be there to
13:58
cheer you on or maybe join a facebook
14:00
group like gray and proud or any of the
14:02
amazing groups that are out there to get
14:04
support from other people because i can
14:07
um whether it's me or somebody else
14:09
that's that is growing their hair white
14:11
everyone has their own experience i have
14:14
chosen to own it i almost dare somebody
14:16
to say to me what what's wrong with your
14:19
hair i it's very clear that i am very
14:21
confident in my hair but there are a lot
14:23
of women out there i am sure that that
14:24
are growing their hair out and they're
14:26
feeling invisible they're feeling like
14:28
you know they don't like the way they
14:30
look so is it i think it's a confidence
14:33
it is and also you know sometimes the
14:35
people around you aren't going to be
14:36
very nice about it maybe a
14:38
sister or a husband or you know i've had
14:43
say well i think about doing it but then
14:45
i see my friend and she looks so much
14:48
it just really depends and also going
14:50
back to how you should do it i think if
14:52
you have a hairdresser you use regularly
14:54
it would be definitely somebody you
14:55
would want to talk to because they know
14:56
your hair better and they know you
14:58
what's important to you and so it's
15:00
really important to have a good
15:02
conversation with your hairdresser about
15:03
it that's a great great great comment um
15:06
brenda says what do you use to keep
15:09
hair from feeling dirty if not wash off
15:11
and also what about when to use a lot of
15:14
product so i can only say
15:16
it it takes time for your hair to get
15:18
used to not being washed yeah
15:20
and so it's there is going to be a
15:22
breaking in period but once you get past
15:25
that breaking near in um in period
15:27
you're going to feel the difference in
15:28
your hair yes your hair will feel
15:30
amazingly healthy because it's no longer
15:32
being stripped of all the oils because
15:34
you're washing your hair every single
15:35
day i it only took me a couple of weeks
15:38
and within a couple of weeks that was it
15:40
i mean now i i actually have stretched
15:43
it out an entire week and nobody would
15:46
know i mean i come into your store and
15:47
and randy i don't think you've ever
15:49
known whether i've washed the hair
15:52
but you know it might but that might
15:54
change too as your hair is completely
15:57
yes things change your new normal will
15:59
be different yes changes
16:02
yeah the only thing that doesn't change
16:04
is well the other thing it does change
16:06
is changed i guess right i'm looking to
16:08
see if there's any other questions um
16:11
how do you recommend trimming my hair
16:14
seemed to stall in growth and fullness
16:15
when i was diagnosed with an underactive
16:17
thyroid and it is regulated now
16:21
how often do you recommend well it
16:22
always depends on how how
16:25
fast your hair grows everybody's hair
16:27
grows differently also what type of
16:29
haircut you have people with shorter
16:30
hair typically need to get a cut more
16:32
often to keep it in shape and looking
16:35
what you do to your hair are you using
16:37
hot tools on it every day are you blow
16:39
drying it all the time you know things
16:41
like that then typically anywhere
16:42
between six to eight weeks is or four to
16:45
eight weeks i should say depending is a
16:48
to your hair trend depending on your
16:51
now i know that i came in a several
16:53
weeks ago because not that i needed
16:55
anything but we felt it was time just to
16:57
cut a couple inches off just to take
16:59
some of the dead ends off and as you can
17:01
see randy it's already grown out
17:04
your hair grows fast because i've
17:06
decided i'm going to be one of those um
17:08
older women with long flowing you know
17:10
white gray hair until i change my mind
17:12
and cut the whole thing off you know
17:14
which i think is beautiful and that's
17:15
another interesting fact is a lot of our
17:17
thing is a lot of people think you
17:19
shouldn't have hair long when it's gray
17:21
i've seen so many women with beautiful
17:24
hair you are hitting upon something that
17:26
we've talked about week after week what
17:28
does the media tell us you get to a
17:29
certain age you can't have long hair you
17:31
can't wear makeup you can't wear high
17:32
heels you can't do this you can't do
17:34
that well i say phooey to the media
17:37
whatever looks the best on you randy
17:39
right i mean you go to your hairdresser
17:41
have you should have a good relationship
17:42
with your hairdresser and i i mean that
17:44
sincerely your hairdresser knows your
17:46
hair even better than you do uh he or
17:48
she is the one that works on your hair
17:50
on a regular basis and knows
17:52
what what is good and what is not good
17:55
um i'm just looking here
17:58
any other questions we got i'm gonna put
18:07
we've got a couple people just gonna
18:13
well felicia said i love the ombre look
18:15
that you have going on karen taubman
18:17
glasser well this is funny you know
18:18
you've heard me mention before that a
18:20
lot of young people um in their 20s are
18:23
actually what are they doing randy
18:25
they're going out there and i think
18:26
randy you froze i'm gonna have you
18:29
okay and come back in
18:32
um a lot of people have said to me i
18:35
love your hair and then they say in the
18:37
next breath how do you do that because
18:38
it almost looks like i have done an
18:40
ombre thing right coming in and there
18:43
goes i'm bringing her in
18:49
okay hi there andy's back
18:52
so again this is there are young people
18:55
that are doing this now
18:56
yes doing this on purpose right instead
18:58
of doing the you know the with the roots
19:01
they're actually dying their hair this
19:02
way i just i find this fun
19:05
it's engaging it's really great to do
19:08
i am going to encourage you if you ever
19:12
of course you want to come see me okay
19:13
that's number one come see me let me
19:15
know you're coming up to napa but when
19:16
you come up to napa and you want to look
19:18
beautiful i want to go check out bernie
19:20
salon and find randy there because randy
19:23
is the person who will make you
19:24
absolutely more stunning than you
19:26
already are and then you want to have a
19:27
good meal i'm just going to do a
19:29
shameless push for a restaurant that she
19:31
and her husband own in napa called ate
19:33
it's a noodle shop and oh my god the
19:35
food is scrumptious so you have two
19:37
things to do up here when you come up to
19:40
visit me go get your hair done and then
19:42
go eat pasta and noodles right that's
19:44
not ramen yeah ramen noodles
19:49
i am so appreciative that you came on
19:51
the show today oh i'm good here we got a
19:52
few more um because i can't so nancy
19:55
just said that's where i just came from
19:57
my hairstyle knows what's best for my
19:59
hair absolutely and that is absolutely
20:03
so guys when you go on out there and
20:04
share this and and make comments make
20:06
sure you use the hashtag littlewhitelive
20:08
because that's how i find you out there
20:10
we know that you have
20:12
many places to spend your time every
20:14
single day and we are very appreciative
20:16
you decided to spend it with us randy
20:19
thank you so much for being on the show
20:20
today and we'll see everybody next time
20:23
on the next episode of
20:25
the little white lie goodbye everyone