Up next in 10
We Are Celebrating Mom!
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May 5, 2021
We are celebrating Mom in the debut episode of Uncorked... Savoring MidLife! Join hosts Mel Greenberg, best-selling author of Running With Our Eyes Closed and Caren Glasser, producer and popular #superboomer livestream host for an entertaining conversation about the ever changing roles of mothers. Make a Momosa and raise a glass to toast motherhood, midlife and everything in-between. Check out some cool gifts for Mom here: http://bit.ly/SAVORINGMIDLIFE 📌 Subscribe to the Channel: https://YouTube.com/cgmusc Look what we’ve Uncorked this month!” Curated list of our favs: https://bit.ly/UNCORKEDLIVE #mothersday #celebratingmoms #moms
View Video Transcript
0:00
work and we are going to be talking
0:02
about
0:03
the ever-changing roles of mothers so
0:06
mel welcome to the show
0:07
hi thank you so much i'm so excited this
0:10
year to be doing this
0:12
motherhood mother's day i'm mel
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greenberg i am a best-selling author i'm
0:16
a producer i'm a mom
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and i'm about to be a grandma i'm also a
0:21
co-founder of
0:22
she is it which is a private facebook
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group and our focus
0:26
is our community is 50 and over and
0:29
we have incredibly engaging
0:31
conversations and it's a private group
0:33
so
0:34
no holds barred there we have a weekly
0:36
show called life unscripted some
0:38
tremendous
0:39
guests that you'll get to meet you know
0:41
kind of helping us navigate these waters
0:44
of 50 and over absolutely you know what
0:47
we'll put a link
0:48
in or let's if you're tuning in right
0:50
now and you'd like to find out a little
0:52
bit more about she is it
0:54
put it in the comments let us know and
0:56
we will send you a link so you can go
0:57
check it out
0:58
okay yep sounds good um
1:02
i'm karen as you guys are you guys know
1:05
that i'm karen glasser i
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am a super boomer i was not satisfied
1:09
just to be a boomer
1:10
i have to be a super boomer i'm
1:12
overachiever
1:13
and um i do shows i i'm a live streamer
1:17
i love to do these shows and i'm
1:18
so thrilled mel that we're doing this
1:20
show together this is gonna be
1:23
much fun so it's a little bit of
1:25
housekeeping i see we have some people
1:27
coming on
1:27
if you whether you're here live or on
1:29
replay it doesn't matter we
1:31
love you and we want to know who you are
1:33
so make a comment
1:35
say hi tell us where you are watching
1:38
from
1:39
and um we're going to do some engaging
1:41
pro
1:42
stuff later on in this show we'll put
1:44
your comments right up on the screen
1:46
if you're so inclined to do that so
1:49
before we start we're going to raise our
1:51
glass
1:52
which way
1:58
we love this world of virtuality so
2:01
we're having i'm having a
2:02
mamasa um mine is uh
2:06
actually orange juice and ginger ale
2:08
really really tasty
2:09
yummy yummy yummy it's from the mindful
2:11
mocktail
2:13
thank you nat mine's also a mocktail and
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it is
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a tropical juice with a little iced tea
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and lemonade
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yum yum yum sounds delicious so and
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we're doing the mocktails today and
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you know we're not we're not in any way
2:29
shape or form telling you you need to go
2:30
out and not drink alcohol that wasn't
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our intention
2:33
our intention is that we wanted to have
2:34
a little bit of fun and have a
2:37
mimosa so that's what we did
2:40
so you know what we're gonna we're gonna
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talk about motherhood today because it
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really has changed
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um from when we were growing up with our
2:48
moms to uh you know the middle age and
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we're gonna talk
2:52
empty nesters and and as we move on
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motherhood
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has changed especially
2:58
through covid oh my god so talk to me
3:02
about that i'm gonna hold your book up
3:03
right now because
3:04
it actually is all about how things have
3:07
changed right
3:08
what's your book about right now it is
3:10
the first book uh
3:12
in the empty nested series and it is
3:14
samantha's the main character and she's
3:16
now an empty nester and she's
3:18
not so sure she wants to stay married
3:20
she loves being a mother but she doesn't
3:22
know what's next and i think most of us
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find ourselves in a position at one
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level or another
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as our children leave the nest but
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certainly presented a whole new
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new bag and one of my sons
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moved home from l.a moved back here i
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didn't think it was home came home they
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stayed for seven weeks and then decided
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this was the place to be with his now
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wife and soon to be
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baby so this is a really special year
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for me as both a mother and about to be
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first-time grandmother
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but i joke with them both my kids that
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they're kind of killing my brand because
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it was built on
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empty nesting and i'm no longer an empty
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master but i'm loving every minute of it
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but
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it has changed so much and i'm fortunate
4:06
that i have my children here
4:08
because i know and i want to hear from
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you karen you're in a very different
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situation
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very different very different um i'm and
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i'm jealous i have to tell you i'm
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really jealous because your kids are
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with you
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and to be able to see them and and to go
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through
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this this thing that we all went through
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my kids i have not seen
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um my folks i have not seen my mother i
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have not seen because of
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all of the things that are going on my
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youngest just moved to the desert so
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that's kind of cool and we're gonna
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i'm gonna actually see him because i'm
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now vaccinated they're now vaccinated so
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we can start moving out but it's been a
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huge challenge when
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my son and when i went through empty
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nest i have two
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two sons i would say kids they're not
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kids 35 or 40
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right um you know they were with a
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totally empty nest and i know when we
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first met i was telling you the fact
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that
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empty nest to me was not a bad thing i
5:02
was so excited that they were moving out
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um and because it meant that we had
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for me personally that we had given them
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the tools and
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and the things that they needed in order
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to um
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move out and do their own thing of
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course i miss them later on but
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um not enough to have them move back in
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well and i think that's the biggest
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conflict that we go through because we
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want our children
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most of us want our children to fly
5:28
we've done that we have done our job
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they are off living
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pursuing their dreams but our lives
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changed too
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and especially for those of us who
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stayed at home and where our job was at
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home with them
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all of a sudden you're left with this
5:41
companion you know what what
5:42
do i do now right so you wrote a book
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i went back i was a writer uh not a
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novelist i was always in radio and
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television it's
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a bit different to write a novel but um
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i'm always yeah writing is is my passion
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and
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it's been tremendous but the greatest
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gift in all of that was
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the women especially and and certainly a
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lot of men too and actually they added a
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tremendous layer to
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to to my writing process of
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in this time in our lives and what we're
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going through and and
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it really is you know you kind of up the
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hill and then
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you're down the other side but it's not
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it doesn't have to be it's not
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downward it's an upward constant
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trajectory but it is a very defined
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shift in in everything and that's been
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the
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the fun i've met people like you getting
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to do these things
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um and it's given a new lease on on my
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own life but i think
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what you were saying about you don't
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want your kids home i remember
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you know when both of my kids went away
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and and i thought gosh if they
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i will you know i love seeing them i
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don't want them to come home
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i mean i don't know what the heck i'm
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doing i guess not about them coming back
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here
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i get that in fact i actually told my
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kids that
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um you're always welcome but you need to
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let us know that you're coming
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home you can't just walk in
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awkward because i mean i'm sure
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you understand right you know it's like
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all of a sudden the kids are out of the
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house we can walk around naked if we
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want
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not that i did well maybe once or twice
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you know you definitely don't want your
7:19
kids walking in on that and
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the big joke with my youngest was we
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moved
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the day after he graduated high school
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and he went to college and he moved into
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a dorm and we moved
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literally moved there was nowhere for
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him to come back to
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where we were thinking about coming home
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different address
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different address we moved and we did
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give them the forwarding address
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but we moved and that was a huge that
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was different for us we moved from
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the suburbs we lived in a home in in the
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suburbs of of california
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um a big home and we moved to a condo on
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wilshire boulevard in the city
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like very cosmopolitan on our top floor
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i loved it yeah i couldn't have kids
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there i mean i wouldn't have
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grown my kids there but definitely so
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that was a huge
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huge change um and a good change
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actually i
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you know i allowed me to grow up as a
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mom and to
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let go a little bit because i was i i
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was maybe i still am a controlling mom
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um if my son's listening you can tell me
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whatever you want
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but you know it allowed me to grow a
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little bit and not being so
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over both of my kids and i think that
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they would probably say the same thing
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did your relationship
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change when they moved out it did you
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know when we
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when our children were growing up we
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were very much their parents we were not
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their friends
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and and we made that distinction very
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clear in how we raised and
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how we communicated them and and the joy
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interesting i mean our house was
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the go-to house everyone wanted all
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their friends their friends still come
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to our house they're still
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connected but there was a point um my
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youngest son after he was done with his
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undergraduate work we were talking about
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and he said i don't remember exactly
9:04
when but we went from being
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like mom and mom and son to like we're
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all friends now
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yeah kathy says yeah kathy stover says
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woohoo
9:15
celebrating thank you for tuning in
9:19
um i get what you're saying totally the
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relationship
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changes right and it's one of the
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reasons that we ch we called this show
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you know it's mom's mentors we we
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actually put that in there because i
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think relationships definitely change if
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they don't they
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should um they absolutely should um
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and i know that it changed on my on my
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side as well
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uh which was was okay it was all all
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good
9:44
we now i wouldn't say we're totally
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friends but
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um we're definitely i'm definitely his
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mentor
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you know and and i love that we are that
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i
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want that physician i speak with my kids
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on a variety of topics and
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once they're not comfortable talking
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with me they talk with their dad about
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so we're
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and we're all connected but we we all
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it's it's been and
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that's another interesting um shift
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with covid because we were having
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dinners at home all the time and
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everyone over and just the conversation
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and and though the topics change that
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the closeness and the value
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in in us mentoring them
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has has been incredibly gratifying it's
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would you say it's more like an adult
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relationship rather than
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a um young kids you know it's different
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mom and dad and kids
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i mean they'll always be my babies yeah
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but
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i mean my son my oldest son is married
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and he's about to be a father
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and you know you you
10:51
approach those conversations in that
10:53
relationship quite differently
10:54
but so it's not that one's better than
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the other and i like that change and i
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like
10:59
embracing the possibilities of that
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change very much
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i love that i love that um
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my uh i've totally lost my train of
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thought
11:10
literally after 50 after school
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yesterday that's what happens we get you
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know you get to a certain age
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all out the door um i i i love being a
11:19
mom
11:20
but i also love being um in an adult
11:23
relationship my son is also getting
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married
11:26
um in july and they just moved to the
11:28
desert so i'm excited because now we're
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going to be able to see them
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and they're going to get married in my
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backyard um you know
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just the most exciting part to share
11:37
because i'm going to marry
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i'm going to marry them um i was really
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honored you know it's interesting i
11:43
didn't expect them to ask me to do that
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you know and it's interesting that they
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did it was really important for me
11:49
for them for me to do this for them so
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i'm i'm thrilled it's gonna be small and
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when i say small it's it's
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the two of them my husband and myself
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and her
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uh dad and his wife just the six of us
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and we're gonna
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zoom the wedding now this is a different
12:03
time right this is a totally different
12:05
time
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who would have even thought about
12:07
zooming a wedding
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i mean well yeah i mean zoom life and
12:12
well i know and i have masks to match my
12:14
work they're part of my wardrobe now
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that's
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not something i ever considered that's
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that's funny
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that and i have it too it's funny but
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it's not i have it too
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since this is a show about moms let's
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talk about our moms um
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i i you you're you lost your mom at a
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very
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very early age
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and tell me i mean that it that
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uh it shaped your life i'm sure of
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course it did
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um she she was diagnosed with breast
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cancer when i was 13 which is a pivotal
12:47
time
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as well so i dealt with those changes
12:50
and
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and honestly i i since i'm a writer i'm
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going to share um
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probably the most helpful book that i
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came across
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as an adult and and long into my
13:01
motherhood of my own was called
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motherless daughters
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and the author personal
13:07
interviews tracked their you know the
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age groups
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it doesn't matter what age you are i
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don't care if you're 80 and you lose
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your mother
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it hurts right it's a void that will
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never be filled
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but it affects your growth and your life
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differently and she broke it down into
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categories and i fell into the second
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one i wasn't
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it was like 10 and under and then 10 to
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20 and i don't remember the exact
13:28
breakdown
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but the the time that i hit me it hit me
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very hard because those are very
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very strong developmental years when
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you're kind of starting to come into
13:38
your own as a teenager
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and and those things and well so so that
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yeah it was not fun but
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i was i was very blessed because she was
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an amazing
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mom while i had her carry those things
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so regardless of what i went through and
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and the journey that i had to travel
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that came back
13:56
and and and through me and you know you
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know i mean
13:59
life in general is is sort of a stumble
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yeah
14:03
kind of you know go along and there's no
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manual
14:07
of exactly how to do it um so when your
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mom's not there to help
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it's it's you know when you don't have a
14:14
mom to go to this my mom said my mom
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lost her mom um when she was 50. um
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not my mom was 50. her mom was 50. she
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was she was uh
14:23
23. and she's always saying to me that
14:26
um you don't know when you
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when you have your mom still here you
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don't know what it's like to
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have kids and to raise kids and not have
14:35
your mom
14:36
there um to be able to go talk to it's
14:38
something that she talks about
14:40
do you feel the same way yeah i do
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and it and it's um it sucks and well it
14:46
did it
14:48
yeah um i'm throwing some pictures up
14:50
right now of
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of your mom i'm gonna put this on solo
14:53
for a second
14:54
how old is your mom here i think she i
14:58
don't know exactly i'm gonna say maybe
15:01
five
15:02
five-ish i'm thinking three five so
15:05
cute that's me oh my gosh
15:09
yeah i think i like about one little
15:10
over and you know you look like your mom
15:13
mel i you know i actually i
15:16
wrote a piece um and she is it and
15:18
shared it yesterday and i
15:20
this is one of the pictures i shared and
15:22
i i got that and
15:23
it just honors me so much that that
15:25
people say that yeah
15:27
it's wonderful it's wonderful and i'm
15:28
sure these these pictures
15:30
bring up a lot of memories um is this is
15:32
your mom right
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it is and that's she was she she was a
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pianist and she actually had
15:37
had studied to be a concert pianist but
15:39
in those days you
15:40
you got married for the most part right
15:42
and and she let that go and that's on
15:44
her
15:45
the piano bench at her piano event so i
15:47
love that
15:48
particular shot and you're a musician
15:50
too you're a violinist
15:52
i'm a pianist
15:58
immediate family only wedding and this
16:00
is it in sedona and
16:01
on valentine's day and i am
16:05
my son's wife's brother he plays a
16:07
guitar we did a duet as she walked
16:09
around the aisle
16:10
oh my gosh this is this is such a great
16:13
picture and this
16:14
is a great picture too being a mentor
16:18
and being a friend
16:19
and just having a good time with your
16:21
sons
16:22
that was actually the that was new
16:24
year's eve
16:26
2019. and we were all in vancouver for
16:30
two weeks celebrating what
16:31
my 60th birthday was going was january
16:33
8th so we're up my good dear friend
16:35
lives up there that we were celebrating
16:37
and like who knew what was coming around
16:38
that
16:39
corner oh my gosh nope no kidding okay
16:42
so
16:42
this is so i couldn't help but put this
16:46
up i mean at covet has changed a lot of
16:48
things and one of the things that had
16:49
changed from my family is that we did
16:51
weekly zooms and we were silly so
16:54
sometimes the girls would get on this is
16:56
my sister in the top left hand corner
16:57
obviously that's me
16:59
with my tongue out and my mom is a real
17:01
trooper
17:02
she she gets involved and does this um
17:05
all right so this is my mom too in the
17:09
middle
17:09
my mom is 85 years old i adore her
17:13
um everything that i learned i learned
17:15
from my mom
17:16
no kidding my sister's on the left and
17:18
my sister-in-law's on the right
17:21
um this is me in the younger days um
17:23
when i had spiked hair and i was singing
17:25
uh
17:26
with rhino records and my little one
17:27
even he was wearing my my name on his
17:29
shirt which i think is pretty cool
17:32
i think he went to a show and again my
17:35
my family my mom is um the person i look
17:38
up to
17:39
uh we i i hope that i'm the kind of mom
17:42
that she is to me to my children
17:46
and here we are again my mom my dad
17:49
again i'm blessed my mom is 85 my dad is
17:51
87
17:52
both of them coveted survivors and
17:56
they are just amazing amazing people and
17:59
then one last
18:00
picture my mom was a hot chick in the
18:02
middle of
18:03
my mom um just hanging out on a picnic
18:06
uh blanket i love that picture and my
18:09
mom and dad
18:11
so again i'm blessed um i want to put
18:13
this
18:15
screen up um you you gave this to me and
18:18
i thought this would be really a great
18:20
conversation i've asked this question
18:22
many times
18:23
am i as i am who i am what i
18:26
am how i am because my mother lived
18:30
or because my mother died and because of
18:33
both of our situations you know one has
18:36
lived and one did not live
18:38
i'm curious um what your take is on that
18:42
uh it's both you said i mean you wrote
18:44
that i didn't like that i'm not the only
18:46
one let's write that okay so
18:48
i don't actually don't know who the
18:49
author is it's beautiful and it's
18:51
touching so deeply years ago that i've
18:53
i've hung on to it because i really i
18:55
got it i mean it resonated with me
18:57
on on just about every level imaginable
19:01
i bet i bet i can i can only imagine i
19:03
can only imagine and it struck a chord
19:05
with me when you gave it to me i thought
19:06
you wrote it
19:07
it's beautiful whoever wrote it up in
19:09
the universe
19:11
it's really it's really magnificent um
19:14
so we both are coming at motherhood
19:18
from similar directions and yet not so
19:21
much
19:21
right we have we have our kids that i
19:24
have not seen but you
19:25
have your mom passed at a very early age
19:28
i'm very blessed i have a mom
19:30
that is you know thriving and alive it
19:32
it has shaped
19:33
my life it has shaped hers i'm sure too
19:36
absolutely
19:37
i i think what i loved about that that
19:40
little quote
19:41
was that i think about you know and
19:44
so many so much so many conversations to
19:47
me especially this time of year are
19:49
about
19:50
what was it like or you know or
19:51
expressing um regrets that that i had
19:54
lost my mother or didn't grow up with
19:56
her and
19:58
the the flip of that is what what
20:00
touched me so because
20:01
of course when she died
20:05
is exactly why i am who i am today
20:07
because i had no choice
20:08
i had to go on with him right but that
20:11
he lived is also
20:12
exactly why i am who i am today so it's
20:14
both
20:16
that's that's that's wonderful that is
20:18
wonderful
20:19
you know i put your book up a little bit
20:21
because we want people to go
20:23
check it out um if you are an empty
20:26
nester or you're about to become an
20:28
empty nester and again in this day and
20:30
time i don't even know what that means
20:32
right now
20:33
well yeah the thoughts of the concept
20:36
it's fluid
20:37
it's fluid you want to say one thing
20:39
about this book though because this
20:41
particular
20:41
it's the first and it was there there's
20:43
a storyline that was crucial
20:45
to um her journey and it really comes
20:49
from my wanting to
20:50
explore the the aspect of in our society
20:53
at this time in life we kind of gloss
20:55
over sexuality
20:57
and it's very steamy and it needed to be
21:00
for what they're going through but i
21:03
love that
21:04
at 50 at 60 you know
21:07
we're not dead we have wants and desires
21:11
and they're very real and i really
21:13
wanted to explore that and it was really
21:16
fun to get to do that in this story
21:20
and i know you were hoping that you
21:22
could go to italy this summer
21:23
that was one of the plans and but soon
21:26
right
21:27
well yeah yeah i hope we're hoping um i
21:29
was going to
21:30
um be leading a workshop um in sicily
21:34
and
21:34
it just it's not it's a little too yeah
21:37
so
21:39
um i want to put a couple of other
21:41
things up here
21:42
it's not too late to shop for mom guys
21:45
um you can go over to
21:46
thesuperglimmerlifestyle.com
21:48
lots of different choices there between
21:49
flowers and gifts and all sorts of
21:51
really cool things
21:52
but i'm going to encourage you strongly
21:55
to go click on the link that just
21:57
popping up in
21:58
the comments in a few seconds this is an
22:01
actually it's a curated list
22:03
of presents and gifts that you and i
22:05
picked
22:06
um that would be great for mom including
22:09
um mimosa you know recipes and
22:12
glasses and a wine stopper i mean great
22:15
stuff that you picked out
22:17
um i want to thank you for that mel
22:19
because so much fun
22:20
it was it was really good celebrating
22:23
moms i mean
22:24
absolutely
22:30
well i'll tell you what you send me you
22:32
know i'll send you
22:34
all right um we're getting we're coming
22:37
to the end here any any last
22:39
um minute thoughts about mom about
22:42
being a mom about you your
22:45
daughter-in-law is about to become a mom
22:47
i mean this is like
22:48
you know generations any thoughts about
22:51
this
22:52
it's fabulous but i mean i'm i'm walking
22:55
on air right now thinking about what's
22:57
happening in the next few months and
22:59
then
22:59
that and and that i get to experience it
23:01
firsthand so i'm very grateful for that
23:03
because they're here and my heart goes
23:06
out to all of you moms out there
23:08
who have not yet but i'm i know with
23:11
everything changing as quickly as it is
23:13
that you're going to be with your kids
23:14
soon i see it across
23:16
across the board everywhere you know i'm
23:18
i'm off for a week and i'm finally
23:19
getting to see my kids so
23:21
that's the greatest thing yeah and it's
23:24
it
23:24
i didn't think it was going to feel so
23:26
good it is
23:27
it feels so good to be able to a leave
23:30
my house
23:31
and b know that i'm going to see my
23:33
youngest and his fiancee they're going
23:35
to come over here
23:36
for brunch for mother's day because
23:38
we're all vaccinated now
23:39
and so it's going to be like almost like
23:41
the second time i've seen him since he
23:43
moved down here so i'm really thrilled
23:45
to be able to celebrate mother's day
23:47
with him um and
23:49
i want to you know wish all of you at
23:51
this consent all of you mothers out
23:53
there
23:57
your mother yeah all of the mothers the
23:59
moms
24:00
the mentors the stepmoms the i mean
24:04
the parent no it truly does take a
24:06
village
24:07
it does take a village um i you know my
24:09
oldest i'm his stepmom
24:11
um he calls me mom and i i adore him
24:13
he's like
24:14
he's mine he's he's my kid um and i
24:17
think
24:17
motherhood takes all different shapes
24:19
and sizes you know
24:20
whether it's biological or it's by
24:22
marriage or by
24:23
decree or by or by choice
24:27
i want to thank you mal for our very
24:29
first show
24:32
so every first tuesday of the month
24:35
we're going to gather together and we're
24:37
going to have a topic of the month i'm
24:39
not sure what we're doing in june i
24:41
think we said something about summer's
24:42
coming or something i can't remember
24:44
it's father's day i don't remember but
24:46
we're doing something
24:47
um it'll be fun yeah it's gonna be fun
24:50
if you have any topics that you would
24:51
like us to cover
24:53
put it in the comments we will make sure
24:55
to uh grab them and
24:56
and you know kind of noodle on it as i
24:59
like to say
25:00
and see what we can do for that um we
25:03
want to thank our audience again whether
25:04
they're on live or replay it really
25:06
doesn't matter we want to thank you for
25:07
tuning in because you have a choice
25:09
as to how you spend your time right and
25:11
you chose to spend it with us i'm so
25:12
glad you spent it with
25:14
us tonight and we really do want to
25:15
raise our glasses again
25:17
to all of the mothers out there
25:22
that way okay
25:25
i know i cannot do this but i'm going to
25:27
drink anyways yeah that i can do
25:31
and that's kind of where the name comes
25:32
uncorked because
25:34
it's like a you know it's a it's a party
25:36
and uh hopefully
25:38
you'll crack open a bottle of wine
25:40
non-alcoholic or alcoholic however you
25:42
want to do it to join us on
25:44
our monthly shows mel have an amazing
25:48
evening tonight thank you karen you too
25:51
i will i can't wait um i'm gonna go have
25:53
some dinner with my hubby i love you out
25:56
there have a wonderful holiday
25:58
and celebrate your mom celebrate your
26:00
mom