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What Are You Hiding Behind The Masks That You Wear?
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Aug 9, 2017
On this #LittleWhiteLie Caren Glasser talks with Transformationalist Cat Williford and asks the question "What Are You Hiding Behind The Masks That You Wear?" http://www.TheLittleWhiteLie.com I invite you to set up time with me by filling out the form below: http://www.ConnectWithCaren.com My Direct Links, Programs & Equipment I use for my Shows & Promotion: BeLive: http://bit.ly/3p7E0DB Get Your Book In Front Of Thousands of Potential Buyers! https://bit.ly/2HJ38Qu Logitech HD Pro Webcam: https://amzn.to/362BuXP Wired Earbuds with Microphone: http://amzn.to/3p1pmOi Lavalier Lapel Microphone: http://amzn.to/3p9EFVo Blue Yeti USB Mic: https://amzn.to/395hExi ATR2100-USB Cardioid Dynamic Microphone: http://amzn.to/3qzEy5A LED Video Light Kit: http://amzn.to/360Qg1w Neewer Ring Light Kit: http://amzn.to/392bON2 (Some links on this video page may be affiliate links that can result in small commissions & help support the channel, they DO NOT cause you to pay any extra money for an item)
View Video Transcript
0:01
welcome to the little white lie with
0:03
Karen Glasser the little white lie is
0:05
all about the lies we tell ourselves
0:07
about getting older and how to love the
0:09
age you are in join Karen and her guests
0:12
every week as they share their stories
0:14
expertise tools and tips on how we can
0:18
all embrace our authentic self and say
0:20
yes to embracing our little white lie
0:23
hello everyone Karen Glasser here
0:27
I am the founder of the little white lie
0:29
digital network and I'm so happy that
0:31
you're here if your hair on replay
0:33
that's awesome make sure you comment
0:35
below and put your comments in there and
0:38
we will respond after the fact because
0:41
this conversation is going to keep on
0:42
going and as I do in every single show
0:45
I'm going to show you the the reveal I'm
0:48
gonna just put my head down here we go
0:52
and last but not least if you'd like to
0:56
share this broadcast we would love for
0:58
you to share it just click that share
0:59
button send it on out and I will thank
1:03
you from the bottom of my heart I also
1:06
encourage you to go visit my website the
1:08
little white lie comm and when you post
1:11
about the little white lie use the
1:13
hashtag hashtag the little white lie so
1:18
today we're going to be asking a
1:20
question what are you hiding behind the
1:22
masks that you wear and who better than
1:25
to bring back a good friend the
1:27
authenticity guru of all-time cat
1:30
Willeford she is a pioneer in the field
1:33
of coaching and a transformational self
1:36
development coach speaker and author she
1:39
received one of the first six
1:40
certifications bestowed by the
1:43
prestigious coach's Training Institute
1:45
she has appeared as a guest expert on
1:47
the Maury Povich Show been featured in
1:49
the Los Angeles Times and coach live on
1:52
LA's ABC talk radio so without further
1:56
ado I'd like to bring in Kat Willeford
1:59
good afternoon how are you today I'm
2:03
great it's so great to be here with you
2:04
Kara and I just love our conversations I
2:07
do too it's always fun to see and hear
2:11
you know what are
2:13
our members are saying what the what the
2:15
group is saying and particularly because
2:18
we're talking about mass today and last
2:20
time you were on that was a huge huge
2:23
topic and the conversation just kept
2:25
going and kept going which is one of the
2:27
reasons I wanted you to come back but
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before we jump into that I'd like to ask
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you what is your little white lie so a
2:35
couple of days ago I had a friend up
2:39
some-some someone you know Stacy
2:41
Bloodworth came to visit and we went to
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lunch and went for a walk on the beach
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and I wound up scorched I you can
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probably still see the sunburn on me and
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so my little white lie and for some
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reason I thought like I could get away
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with it I don't know I'm a fair skinned
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girl what was I thinking so the little
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white lie what I've discovered you know
3:00
when we're in the personal development
3:01
world we don't think the box sides of
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the boxes apply to us because we're
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we're up ending boxes left and right for
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ourselves and our clients so there are
3:12
still laws of physics and rules of the
3:16
universe that we must follow so my
3:18
little white lie to myself has been I
3:20
don't have to I'm above that which of
3:23
course is yes because now I've got water
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blisters on my back going
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oh no and it happens to all of us we
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just think well we can do it it's not
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the rules are for everybody else but us
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right that's right absolutely so we're
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asking the question about mass and what
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are those mass saying that we're
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actually hiding behind so the first
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thing I want to ask you is actually when
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we talk about mass what are we actually
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saying what does that mean yeah you know
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that's a great question because of a lot
3:53
of people I love that your dogs are here
3:55
they're there they're there into this
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Bay they want to know right yeah so I
4:01
came to the idea that it's the masks
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that were hiding behind because they
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came from the world of theatre and so
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when you think about how original
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theatre was performed people literally
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wore masks the thespians wore masks
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because a lot of times men were doing
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the women's roles because women had even
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less potential been in some societies so
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they're literally things we put on
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and in this metaphor that I'm using it
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is the way we show ourselves pretty
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boxed in you know we're talk about the
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box earlier so those rules that we're
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living by that aren't ours the stories
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that we're living by that aren't ours so
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they're become what we show to the world
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rather than who we really are and we
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hide behind them because we're smart our
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psyche has developed them to protect us
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so we're not bad or wrong for having
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masks it's just a problem when we forget
4:58
to take them off what that is such a
5:00
great answer and so I guess the next
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question that I want to ask you so how
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do we identify our mass and as you're
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talking I'm gonna actually put my dogs
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out of the room oh they don't get to
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join to the conversation so I think the
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best way to actually uncover the masks
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and to identify where they're coming
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from is to look at our timeline you know
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there's a lot of information out there
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about looking at our timeline and where
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things originate from but when you
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decide like for me my big one biggest
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one has been the chief operating officer
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of control and she loves to take charge
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take over and this sent the other thing
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and when I take a step back and look
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cool so what is she protecting and
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caring we can't hear you yes I had
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myself on mute while others were barking
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I'm back I'm bad guys I'm back right we
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take a step back it's like what is it
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I'm protecting you know and I came to
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like fear of disappointment and a fear
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of not being in control and then when
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you start to look at your timeline you
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can see where those instances were in
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childhood early adulthood teenager where
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you didn't feel in charge for the and
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I'm talk about this specific mass of
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course I think I wear the same mask as
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you died huh and I call myself a control
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freak and it's that kind of a negative
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way to actually put it I kind of like
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the way you put it better but for me it
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really is a matter of feeling so
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uncomfortable in my own skin if I am not
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feeling I'm in control of the actual
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situation to the point that I actually
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do the driving in my household because I
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am income
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people sitting in a passenger sheep rep
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seat rather than driving myself you guys
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that are listening right now what kind
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of mass are you wearing and what are you
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hiding code put it in the comments I'd
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love to put some of them up on the
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screen so we're going to continue the
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conversation so what do you say do you
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suggest or what do you suggest for
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people that are going to start
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identifying those mess what do they do
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once they identify it yeah so I you know
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for some of you it might not be the
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chief operating officer of control it
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might be something more like the over
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giver slash pleaser I've worn that one
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goodness you know or we might be wearing
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the mask I call her smarty pants like
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I'm gonna be the smartest one in the
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room and I'm gonna prove it to everybody
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and I'm gonna keep raising my Union and
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I'm gonna be raising my there's all
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kinds of masks that we wear out there
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and I think the key to taking them off
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is to actually identify what is the fear
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because they're really what I discovered
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is masks are covering three things the
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hiddens the his things are our pain we
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want to hide our pain and sometimes we
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don't even want to feel it so we
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certainly don't want other people to see
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it other times it's because this fear of
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being out of control so we try to
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control the other thing I think we're
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really hiding behind there is our
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fragile miss our bone oh my gosh
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thank you yeah I totally agree totally
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agree with that Dianna said that I'm
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always happy inside when I have been
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living to have others to help others be
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happy I think that's what you miss
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dianna and a drew says she's a pleaser
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big time good time oh my gosh I love
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that understand that one so how do
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people connect with you and also I would
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love for you to let people know about
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this event that you're doing in
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September and by the way guys I'm going
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to be going so Kat tell everybody about
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this event you're going to be doing and
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I'm hoping that some of our viewers will
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actually come and join us
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right
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any cat in person if you haven't already
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and learn about the masks the masks and
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taking them off yeah I'm so excited this
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is I haven't gotten to do a retreat for
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a long time in my business and I'm so
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excited for the first time in ten years
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to get to do one and this is really
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we're gonna do a deep dive it's two days
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long and it's but it's gentle we're a
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gentle deep dive full of love and
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compassion we're gonna be creative
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together we're gonna have some body
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movement going on to just really get any
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bodies and be who we are and where we
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are but it's really to take off that big
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mask so it's okay I want to interject
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right there because I want to understand
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that I actually had a conversation with
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you that I was feeling vulnerable about
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doing this yeah I really I'm stepping
9:40
out of my comfort zone in a huge way so
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I I want you to be listening to what Kat
9:47
says and even if it feels uncomfortable
9:49
being comfortable with me as Joey said
9:52
sometimes you have to be uncomfortable
9:54
to take the next step so coach is right
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thank you and you know one of my tag
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lines is your comfort zones can kill you
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but being uncomfortable will not so if
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you're in that rut like sometimes those
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masks can be really big comfort zones
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I'm really comfortable being the chief
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operating officer of control she knows
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how to get stuff done but she also is
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very lonely and doesn't let other people
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help her she can receive or ask for help
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which is a problem when you're a
10:24
business owner big time problem or if
10:28
you're working with a team you got to
10:29
work with a team so anyway I've got this
10:32
retreat coming up and I want to offer
10:35
because we had this show scheduled
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earlier in the week and we had a tech
10:39
glitch so I want to be able to offer my
10:41
earlybird rate even though it's over
10:43
right now I want to be able to offer it
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to anyone who's interested I'd love to
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have a conversation with you shoot me a
10:49
flare on messenger here on Facebook Kat
10:52
Willeford c80 that I ll IFOR D and I
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would love to have a conversation with
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you individually to make sure that this
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is something for you and talk to you
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about those fears that are going to come
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up because you know what
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I even have them I'm confronting my
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masks left and right every single day in
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putting this out there in the world it's
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scary and I'm doing it anyway because I
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am so passionate and committed that
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women live into the story that they want
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to live into and stop living in the past
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stories because those are going to keep
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the railing US and not letting us
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experience what we want to experience in
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our life and you deserve that we only
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deserve it
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amen absolutely I put your email up
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there so that people can actually get to
11:41
you by putting your website up as well
11:43
Kat Willeford comm and also I encourage
11:46
you to go check out Kats Facebook group
11:49
The Sisterhood circle Advantage and join
11:52
in we're all sisters because that's what
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we are and we're tribe and tribes gather
11:57
around each other and support each other
11:59
and of course if you want to follow Kat
12:01
on Twitter you can go to at kat
12:03
Willeford calm any last words that you
12:06
would like to share with our group
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people always make a body you know what
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I don't know do you have the address for
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the retreat website well I don't but if
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you tell me what it is I can put it in
12:17
WWF entity Advantage retreat I think
12:27
with a question mark so I'll type up
12:30
I'll share it in the comments below when
12:32
we're done I'll share it in the comments
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below that's what I'll do
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and last yes you know what here's my
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this is from my heart you deserve to
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live free and a choice and I lived for
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so long under the tyranny of my mask of
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control I was joyless for so long and I
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but no one would have known it and what
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that did was set up that internal
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naysayer called the fraud police and I
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was scared to death that as soon as I
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became me people would haul me to jail
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like the fraud police were going to come
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and haul me to jail and it's risky and
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it's scary
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feels risky and it feels scary when you
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first start to allow that authenticity
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to roll forward
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I can't me just share what I share with
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you early nothing about what I did today
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it's like I I'm 53 and I'm in this place
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of you know where I never thought it
13:36
would be which is dating in midlife and
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I say dating him in life and I'm not
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even dating like I want to be waiting
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and I met someone this morning when
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picking up my car from caliber collision
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and he was so kind as there was
13:53
something in his eyes and there was
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something in his smile and they actually
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when I got home I called the adjuster it
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was a woman Sandra Cruz she's amazing
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and I just said hey is he single and she
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said I never do this but I'm doing it
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and she said oh my god he is single and
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you're single
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okay we have to remember I have no idea
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he's gonna call and at this point it's
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not even about that it's that I the
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universe is kept saying you gotta meet
14:20
me girlfriend you've got to meet me and
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so I took that risk and it feels so
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freeing and it feels it felt terrifying
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and it felt freeing and that's what I
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want all of us I want us to be breaking
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down the love internal barriers that say
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no so that we can say yes to ourselves
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oh my gosh I'd Endicott's and that's an
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awesome story and and of course I'm
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going to be following up with you to
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find out what happened if that nothing
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happened but you know what here's the
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thing you're right you just stepped into
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it you step into your power you did it
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and that could that's probably is enough
14:53
right there right there right there we
14:56
want to thank everybody for sharing this
14:58
time with us because we know that you
15:00
have a choice as to where you spend your
15:02
time and you chose to spend it with us
15:03
and we are eternally grateful we want to
15:06
make sure that you go out and give
15:07
somebody an awesome day and we'll see
15:09
you next time on the next episode of the
15:12
little white lie goodbye everyone bye
15:16
bye
#Self-Help & Motivational