0:01
what it really takes to create the life
0:04
that you want I talked about this and
0:06
more with Master Certified coach Kat
0:09
Williford on this episode of the super
0:13
boomer lifestyle show hello everyone
0:16
this is karen Glasser I am your
0:18
livestream host and welcome to the super
0:21
boomer lifestyle show this is the show
0:23
that will enhance your lifestyle health
0:25
empowerment and more I am so happy that
0:32
you decided to join us today we have a
0:34
great show for you if you're here live
0:37
make sure you comment because we are
0:40
going to put your comments up on the
0:41
screen and we'll come back after the
0:43
show and reply if you're here on replay
0:45
just as good make sure that you tell us
0:48
you're on replay so that we can comment
0:50
and of course as we say every single
0:52
week share share share we would love to
0:56
have you share this with your network so
0:59
today we're tackling the question what
1:01
does it really like to create the life
1:03
that you want and today's special guest
1:06
is Kat Willeford she is a pioneer in the
1:10
coaching industry she is a certified
1:14
coach and she's actually one of the very
1:16
first certified coaches in the United
1:18
States and she believes in the power
1:20
saying yes to the opportunity and
1:22
stretching that into whatever yes calls
1:25
forth I'm very excited to welcome Kat
1:28
Willeford to the show today as we tackle
1:30
this question and so much more hello Kat
1:35
how are you I'm great Karen it is so
1:38
good to be here with you thank you and
1:40
how much do I love the and so much more
1:45
great well you know because we end up
1:48
talking about a topic and then we go off
1:51
on a tangent and I don't like being
1:53
stuck into something that we can't get
1:55
out of so the Anmore is probably the
1:57
most important part of the show I would
1:59
I would agree so I like to start the
2:02
show with and this particular show is
2:04
what is a super boomer because it's the
2:07
super boomer lifestyle show yes now my
2:10
definition of a super boomer is that we
2:13
find by age we are defined by how we
2:15
show up in life cat how would you define
2:18
a super boomer I love that I love the
2:22
way you're holding this and presenting
2:24
it I guess what I might add or spin
2:28
around in my words would be something
2:30
like a super boomer is someone who is up
2:35
who is up to something for themselves
2:38
for the world and for progress whatever
2:43
that might mean to an individual
2:45
certainly yet I hold it as big like
2:50
progress as humanity progress as in
2:54
consciousness because if you think about
2:57
super I mean the super boomers we came
2:59
well many came in age in the 60s me in
3:02
the 70s but you know there was that
3:03
whole time that whole era where walls
3:06
were clattering to the floor of boxes
3:08
you know it's the boxes being broken
3:11
free and I believe that's what we're
3:12
doing now we built some other boxes up
3:14
around us and then we said it's true
3:16
that we definitely did we definitely did
3:20
and that's kind of why I like the topic
3:23
that we're covering today that we really
3:25
can create the life that we want right
3:29
okay and so we're gonna talk about how
3:32
that actually works and how we can
3:34
create the life of one but I know that
3:36
you are an authenticity coach and you
3:37
talk about being authentic and you know
3:39
that's a favorite word of mine it's a
3:41
favorite way that I like to show up we
3:43
were talking about how I show up on the
3:45
show sometimes sometimes my head
3:47
disappears into the wall sometimes I
3:49
stumble all over my words but the but
3:51
the thought here is really is that I
3:53
just show up as I really am let's talk
3:55
about authenticity what does that mean
3:57
in our world today so I think you hit
4:00
the nail on the head we show up as we
4:02
are right now that doesn't mean we can't
4:05
I wear lipstick I wear makeup you know
4:09
it's not that one yet actually you know
4:11
we can't it's not that we don't enhance
4:13
maybe what we've got but we ain't to me
4:15
authenticity is about the core of us are
4:18
we being true to our core personal
4:21
values are we in alignment with really
4:25
who we are because what
4:26
as if we're not there we're playing the
4:29
imposter syndrome game and it we will
4:32
always be chill be like a dog chasing
4:34
our tail we will not be going forward so
4:38
it's for me authenticity is the way we
4:42
actually can move forward we it's it's
4:44
we stop running in circles around
4:46
ourselves we stop chasing that tail I
4:48
love that I love that
4:50
so can we create the life we want and
4:54
when we say that is this like we have a
4:57
task list do we you know decide that
5:00
we're gonna go do this first and then
5:02
this first what does that mean when we
5:04
say we can create the life that we want
5:06
you know I I think this is really why
5:09
people come to coaching this is what I
5:11
work with people every day around this
5:13
conversation and here's what I've come
5:16
to know in 25 years of coaching people
5:18
is that the answer is yes of course we
5:21
can what happens for people and why they
5:24
don't feel like they are living it
5:26
they're not current with themselves so
5:30
part of the pro we used to talk about
5:32
don't don't lean your ladder against the
5:34
wrong wall and climb now and it's the
5:37
same thing here in our personal journey
5:39
we have to stay fresh and current with
5:42
ourselves so and not let old goals
5:46
penetrate our brain and try and keep us
5:48
where we are like I'm I'm 54 my goals
5:52
are different than when I was 34 if I
5:53
were still carting those around I would
5:55
be one miserable person and I was gonna
5:57
say and thank goodness right I think
5:59
it's Robbie I don't want to be 34 again
6:01
honestly right now but you know I'm just
6:04
it's no it's we have to be current with
6:07
where we are and that to me is step
6:09
number one in order to develop living
6:13
into the life you want so true so tip
6:15
number one is get current with yourself
6:17
right and Curtis get get current with
6:19
yourself and and take you know it's the
6:21
time to declutter your mind in your soul
6:23
each day one of the things that I do is
6:25
every morning I meditate yes and I do
6:29
miracle morning that's one of the things
6:31
that I do I get very clear I get very
6:32
current about Who I am and what I'm
6:34
doing what are some other ways that we
6:37
might get current with
6:39
SILS that's great yeah so I don't know
6:45
if you can see in the back well maybe a
6:46
little bit on the background there I
6:47
have a vision board I see it I just made
6:51
you on big screen we can see it so I
6:54
have a vision board it's kind of a mess
6:56
right now and I'm gonna but I love doing
6:57
it on the bulletin board
6:59
thank you guys I've got pushpins I can
7:01
move things around I can you know
7:03
sometimes people are afraid to glue
7:05
things down on paper because like oh I
7:08
might change my mind we can Mike you're
7:10
my more kind of with yourself so I also
7:14
believe in keeping it sparse like let's
7:17
keep it simple you know and pick one
7:21
thing at a time to focus on it doesn't
7:23
mean the other aspects of your life
7:25
don't matter but we want to keep things
7:28
really simple and I spend a lot of time
7:31
coaching people of kind of decluttering
7:33
if you will the space of what they want
7:36
decluttering the old thinking and old
7:39
belief patterns so we need to declutter
7:42
our minds we need to declutter our
7:46
thinking we need to declutter our bodies
7:49
I love that soul so tip number two is
7:53
keep it simple keep it simple keep it
7:57
simple when you are looking to change
7:59
things you know don't try and change
8:02
everything at once and how many of us do
8:05
that I mean I used to do it I was like
8:07
oh well if one thing needs to change in
8:10
my life well so does this so this is it
8:12
and all of a sudden like I can't do
8:19
and then we then were paralyzed right
8:21
and then we're actually paralyzed we
8:23
can't move off the dime and then that's
8:25
a challenge for a lot of us right
8:27
absolutely and what keeps us there are
8:30
those masks that we wear right
8:32
so my chief operating officer of control
8:35
thinks I can take on more and more and
8:38
more and more and just keep controlling
8:40
it all and making it all happen any way
8:44
she's really good at it but the cost is
8:47
too significant so that's part of
8:49
keeping it simple we don't want to
8:50
exhaust ourselves so the right
8:53
oi like that we want to be living and
8:56
more than and this is just a side tip to
8:59
this more than what you want it to look
9:03
like let's back it up a step what do you
9:08
want it to feel like I
9:10
and that because we use all of our
9:12
senses right that's I want to feel it
9:15
I'd like to ask a question those of you
9:17
who are on live or if you're on replay
9:18
how many of you when you experience
9:21
something don't just experience the
9:23
words and and what's in your head but
9:25
you feel in your body make a comment
9:27
down there just let us know because I
9:29
know personally we're talking about this
9:31
before the show I feel everything in my
9:33
body everything good and bad that's
9:36
right what do we do when we do that yeah
9:38
so if we're checking in you know and we
9:41
can feel it in our body but we do we
9:43
want to find out what is the experience
9:45
that I really want to be having here
9:47
because sometimes in working with
9:50
clients what they have discovered and
9:52
what I have discovered in my own life is
9:53
we think it's the external things that
9:56
we want to be different but there's that
9:59
saying wherever you go there you are yes
10:01
so there's the what is the internal
10:05
experience you want to be having that's
10:08
different than what you're having now
10:10
and about three years ago I determined I
10:13
was really tired of running and chasing
10:16
and striving I used to get off on that I
10:21
was like oh yeah let's let that go way
10:22
out there and I'm gonna run really fast
10:25
and I had this epiphany moment when I
10:27
was literally running on the beach I was
10:29
like okay I'm gonna run from the jetty
10:30
to the pier I got to the pier in like
10:32
that was a far enough I can go further
10:34
and I ran like 20 more yards went can't
10:38
you just obliterated the fact that that
10:41
was your goal and you made it right yeah
10:44
my constant push push push
10:46
so I started invoking every morning and
10:49
I'm a big fan of setting our intention
10:52
of what we want to experience every day
10:54
and what kept coming up for me when I
10:58
was doing this was ease hello
11:03
spaciousness yep yep and so I can have
11:07
that in a crazy airport situation I can
11:11
have that here on this show I can have
11:13
that sitting on my couch I can have that
11:17
driving on the freeway when you can you
11:20
can so you talked about masks and I've
11:22
been I've been to one of your events and
11:24
and for those who care to know actually
11:26
cook a cat as my coach I work with cat
11:29
III i love her i highly recommend her
11:32
and one of her things that she talks
11:34
about are the masks that we wear right
11:36
so one of the tips if you were sharing
11:38
is that we have to unmask ourselves how
11:40
do we do that yeah so again it's like
11:44
getting current right so the masks live
11:47
very far in the future to prevent a
11:50
problem mm-hmm they live very far in the
11:53
future we're shooting in the past okay
11:57
protecting us from a similar situation
12:00
so masks protect our vulnerability masks
12:04
protect us a lot of times from feeling
12:07
what is happening in the moment so they
12:10
keep they and they develop because we
12:12
need a little safety it's not bad that
12:15
we have them in fact I think our psyche
12:18
is really brilliant to develop them
12:19
because they get us through something
12:21
right yeah maybe we've got to push
12:23
through something maybe we need to
12:25
really be defended and guarded against a
12:26
certain thing it just becomes a problem
12:29
within their habitual good point very
12:31
good point you know I'm really excited
12:33
for you because just yesterday you
12:35
launched your new live Facebook show and
12:39
it's called the heroines journey and
12:42
it's live on Facebook I'm really really
12:45
I saw the show I really loved it tell us
12:47
a little bit about the show and what
12:48
people are going to glean and what
12:51
they're gonna get out of this and how
12:52
often it is and all that kind of okay
12:54
great we're luck too so I really created
12:57
this based on you know when I'm writing
13:00
my book I realized in looking at the
13:03
experience that I'm chronicling with a I
13:07
had an ovarian diagnosis I chose not to
13:09
go the traditional route and I healed it
13:12
part of my healing journey was I had to
13:17
I had to reclaim my body's wisdom
13:21
I had to reclaim being in relationship
13:24
with my body and so what it taught me
13:27
was a heroines journey is different than
13:30
the hero's journey and I believe we
13:33
women and men who want to adopt and
13:36
really great in integrate their feminine
13:41
energy this this is a very helpful piece
13:44
for them we have to pay attention inside
13:46
first in orders to start shifting those
13:49
outer layers and so we each have a
13:52
unique journey and that's what I want
13:54
the conversation to be about the unique
13:57
journey that each one of us takes in
13:59
order to heal and grow and then affect
14:02
change in our world well I really
14:04
encourage people to to actually join the
14:06
show it's it's it's every other Tuesday
14:09
right and it's at 4:00 p.m. Pacific time
14:12
I put a up on the screen I also
14:15
put a link in the comments that you can
14:17
click on that will take you over to the
14:21
first show which was yesterday so you
14:23
get a taste of it and I encourage you to
14:25
do that I know the cat you're asking for
14:27
people if they have questions that you
14:30
that you that you want those questions
14:32
so go listen to the show but your place
14:33
would because I know the cat will
14:35
probably incorporate them in a future
14:38
future show right I absolutely will and
14:41
future show you know this one is really
14:42
I was I was doing a lot of philosophy
14:45
and just sharing like the the overall
14:48
umbrella and come from around this so we
14:50
can all be on the same page with it but
14:52
then each show I'm gonna dive into a
14:54
specific thing like you know your
14:57
journey with your body your journey in
15:00
relationships your journey through your
15:02
career your journey in relationship to
15:05
money so it's really a holistic look at
15:08
how we integrate and actually operate in
15:11
our lives so it is a journey you know
15:14
and just like any journey we go on yeah
15:18
we learn something so whether we're
15:21
traveling far afield and right and
15:23
threatened or we're traveling within we
15:26
will learn something and I love the idea
15:28
of a journey and traveling
15:30
and I wanted to kind of incorporate the
15:31
two because you know we all go on on
15:34
inner journeys and outer journeys and in
15:37
the super boomer lifestyle store we have
15:39
some great products and tools that you
15:41
can use when you go on your journey one
15:44
of them is is my favorite because I'm
15:46
such a geek when it comes to technology
15:48
I love this this gift this is awesome I
15:52
can put all my cords I can put all my
15:54
apparatus my selfie stick and all my
15:57
stuff into a little bitty suitcase so
15:59
that I always have it with me and for
16:02
those of you who are wondering you know
16:04
why would you need them well if you ever
16:05
get on the road and your phone ever dies
16:06
and you don't have the cord you're gonna
16:08
know why why you need it so I really
16:12
really encourage you to do that as you
16:14
go on your journey and check it out in
16:16
the super boomer lifestyle store so um I
16:19
want to move on because you have a gift
16:21
for everybody and I do I do
16:24
so I'm putting up the link in the
16:27
comments but let's talk a little bit
16:29
about what this gift gift is I I have I
16:32
have gotten them and they're it's
16:33
amazing gift because it's not just a
16:35
one-time thing it's a continual thing so
16:38
why don't you share a little bit about
16:39
what this gift is sure so I made a set
16:43
of a mini mi ni set of affirmation cards
16:48
that are really built to support you to
16:52
unmask to be a choice in your life and
16:55
in your world and to be vulnerable to
16:59
strengthen that vulnerability muscle to
17:01
strengthen your ability to be honest
17:05
with yourself to be honest with others
17:06
and so these are daily cards you can
17:08
draw them one a day and and I call it
17:11
there there your self-love focus cards
17:14
is really what they are because part of
17:16
unmasking and becoming vulnerable is
17:19
discovering self-love and that's one of
17:23
my passions for women particularly
17:24
because we're really good at loving
17:26
other people we kind of suck when it
17:27
comes to this stuff we put ourselves
17:30
last most of the time would you agree I
17:33
absolutely agree Joby is saying yes
17:36
Joey's saying she used the affirmation
17:38
cards every day Kat they are fantastic
17:41
as do i I find myself pulling the cards
17:44
every so often just if I need some
17:45
guidance just if I need something hold
17:48
and what it does is you know there's
17:50
these came from within me and these are
17:53
aspects that are and within all of us
17:54
and so what it is is you know when we
17:56
are in a contemplative question you know
17:59
when we draw a card it's our inner
18:00
wisdom speaking to us of what we can
18:02
focus on right then and there to keep it
18:05
simple again we like it well it seems
18:08
too much we like we have grown
18:10
habituated to the complexity of modern
18:13
life and the noise of it all and these
18:16
are simple ways to focus in hone in and
18:19
that really is you know part of
18:21
unmasking is we don't have to go it
18:24
the masks make us go it alone and
18:27
inviting allies into play is so
18:31
important and I think it's so important
18:34
for we boomers to do this
18:35
you know cuz we grew up with that no
18:38
pain no gain do it yourself
18:40
right not this and yeah that's okay
18:43
whatever I'm bored with that already
18:46
right so invite allies be around fun
18:49
people that lift you up and if the
18:52
people aren't lifting you up then just
18:54
stop going to wherever they are amen a a
18:58
to the men thank you very much thank you
19:01
very much you know there's something
19:03
that it's very interesting that people
19:05
may not know about you and that is a
19:08
particular group of people that you have
19:11
coached and supported you want to tell
19:13
us a little bit about this because it
19:15
really is it goes to who you really are
19:17
thank you yeah and this was a while ago
19:21
so every time I think about it and talk
19:23
about it's like I might need to start
19:25
doing this again when I first was
19:30
starting out as a couch I really wanted
19:33
to couch as many different kinds of
19:36
people in different situations and I was
19:38
on a board of directors of the Los
19:41
Angeles women's legislative coalition we
19:44
had a spin-off organization court watch
19:48
and it was about cut we did a great we
19:53
graded judges and how they
19:55
dispensed justice when I came to
19:58
domestic violence because what we found
20:01
was their real I mean the women were
20:04
being brutalized all over again in the
20:06
court system particularly Family Court
20:08
so we stepped in and we had a program
20:12
where I got to coach them well to be
20:17
prepared and in their Center in their
20:20
wholeness as they went to court so that
20:25
they could speak very clearly and
20:27
concisely and not let their emotions
20:29
overtake them because you know if you're
20:32
looking at the abuser and he's using
20:35
your children you might crazy you've
20:38
become like a screaming person like any
20:40
of us would so we worked with them and
20:42
coached them and my joy was to be able
20:45
to coach them to know that they could
20:48
stand on their own with a little help
20:50
and support oh my gosh so it's so
20:55
important and unfortunately we found you
20:58
said this have you did this a while back
21:00
and unfortunately we fast forward now to
21:02
today's time yes nothing's changed well
21:05
some of this sentencing has changed good
21:08
good and we were a part of actually
21:11
affecting legislative policy for two or
21:16
three things that were big like there
21:18
were all of a sudden mandatory because
21:21
what that used to happen and a domestic
21:23
violence calling home or Nia in
21:25
particular you go out of the police
21:29
would go to the location and they just
21:31
kind of you know Wakita of the parties
21:34
around the block and then let him go
21:35
back at it yeah and a lot of times it
21:37
escalated and the woman wound up in the
21:40
hospital or the morgue so what happened
21:44
is mandatory separation off to jail he
21:48
goes or her depending I mean there were
21:50
some cases where the woman was the
21:52
abuser so it was you have to separate
21:55
and we legislated that a female officer
21:57
has to be present well that's actually
22:01
pretty huge when you consider oh yeah
22:04
yeah it is huge so I take back what I
22:07
have changed but in this era of me2 and
22:10
and women's rights and everything that's
22:13
going on we need more cat Williford that
22:16
are willing to use their skills and
22:19
their their mindsets and helping these
22:22
individuals get the help that they need
22:25
you know I know that people always ask
22:28
us how do we find out more about our
22:30
guests they can go to your website right
22:32
cat lover come they can also visit your
22:36
Facebook page authenticity advantage
22:38
woman series I've actually been on those
22:41
calls these are really great guys and
22:43
I'll show you I'll add it to my super
22:45
boomer moment I'll hold on to that and
22:47
then finally on Twitter go tweet cat cuz
22:51
I bet if you tweet cat she's gonna tweet
22:54
I bet are there any last-minute thoughts
22:59
that you would like to share with our
23:00
audience the show I mean this show is
23:02
just like spin right by anything you'd
23:04
like to share with our audience that we
23:06
haven't touched upon at least two gifts
23:08
and thoughts for people to maybe reach
23:10
out to you yeah you don't reach out to
23:15
me reach out I guess this is what I want
23:17
to say and here's what I love about what
23:19
you're mentioning about the me2 movement
23:20
and I believe that this is a time when
23:26
old ways and systems must crumble
23:29
including those inside of us so if you
23:33
feel like you are crumbling a little
23:36
inside I want you to know you're not
23:37
alone and I want you to know there are a
23:40
lot of a lot of coaches out there and
23:42
that specialize in things like I do and
23:45
I love to support women who want to
23:48
rebuild in an authentic way because what
23:50
is crumbling away is the inauthenticity
23:53
are the masks are the right pods and we
23:57
see it globally and we see it the macro
24:01
and we see it the micro and we again
24:05
it's exciting time if this is an
24:07
exciting time it's a challenging time
24:09
it's for some it's a scary time but this
24:12
is exciting time we are at the forefront
24:14
as super boomers as women as coaches as
24:17
people that are in this
24:20
world we are going to make a difference
24:22
this is I'm passionate about this we we
24:24
women are going to make a difference cat
24:27
thank you so much for joining us today I
24:30
so appreciate you I'm gonna be dropping
24:32
you into the green room as I go into my
24:35
super boomer moment and and we'll go on
24:39
from there again thank you very very
24:44
so guys this is time for the super
24:47
boomer moment and this is where I share
24:49
something that struck a chord for me and
24:53
you know I have I have traveled this
24:56
road for quite a while
24:58
I've been live-streaming since the early
25:00
90s I have always been my authentic self
25:03
I just show up this way and whatever
25:05
comes out is what comes out sometimes
25:07
that's a good thing sometimes that's not
25:09
such a good thing and one of the things
25:11
that I really like about what Kat talks
25:13
about is the whole idea of how
25:16
authenticity is showing up in the world
25:18
today and and it in some respects it's
25:21
an overused word I know a lot of people
25:22
say I'm going to be authentic and I'm
25:24
gonna do it that way but it is a feeling
25:26
and it is it is how you internalize it
25:29
is how you show up and I really
25:30
encourage you to touch base with Kat and
25:33
find and get get the cards I just have
25:35
to get the cards but also maybe to have
25:37
a conversation and find out you know how
25:39
you can uncover your own authenticity go
25:43
check out her show the heroines journey
25:44
it's awesome it's a great show you're
25:47
gonna get so much value so much so much
25:50
content and finally go check out the
25:53
super boomer lifestyle store because we
25:55
have some great tools and products that
26:00
will help you on your journey whether
26:01
you are taking the journey inside with
26:03
the books or whether you're taking your
26:05
journey outside as you travel along and
26:08
around the world get some suitcases get
26:10
some things that will help you on on
26:12
your travels we want to thank you for
26:15
checking us out today because I know
26:17
that you have a choice as to where you
26:19
spend your time and you chose to spend
26:20
it with us today I am eternally grateful
26:24
I hope that you join us next week on the
26:26
next episode of the super boomer
26:29
lifestyle show have a great day everyone