Up next in 10
S3:E4
On this episode of The Super Boomer Lifestyle Show Caren and Cat Williford talk about “What it really takes to create the life that you want.” They cover the following topics:
How to stay fresh and current with ourselves and not let old goals penetrate our brain and try and keep us where we are.
Are we being true to our core personal values? Are we in alignment with really who we are?
How to keep it simple and pick one thing at a time to focus on.
Cat Williford is a Pioneer of the Coaching Profession and is one of the first Certified Coaches in the United States. She has appeared on the Maury Povich Show, Coached live on ABC Talk Radio and is a frequent guest on Internet Shows. She has been profiled in publications such as the LA Times and many Corporate In-House Magazines. She is an author and is currently editing her book to be released in early December of this year. Cat believes in the power of saying “YES!” to opportunity and stretching into whatever that YES calls forth.
http://www.TheSuperBoomerLifestyle.com #superboomer
Check out more shows here: http://www.carenglasser.live.
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0:01
what it really takes to create the life
0:04
that you want I talked about this and
0:06
more with Master Certified coach Kat
0:09
Williford on this episode of the super
0:13
boomer lifestyle show hello everyone
0:16
this is karen Glasser I am your
0:18
livestream host and welcome to the super
0:21
boomer lifestyle show this is the show
0:23
that will enhance your lifestyle health
0:25
empowerment and more I am so happy that
0:32
you decided to join us today we have a
0:34
great show for you if you're here live
0:37
make sure you comment because we are
0:40
going to put your comments up on the
0:41
screen and we'll come back after the
0:43
show and reply if you're here on replay
0:45
just as good make sure that you tell us
0:48
you're on replay so that we can comment
0:50
and of course as we say every single
0:52
week share share share we would love to
0:56
have you share this with your network so
0:59
today we're tackling the question what
1:01
does it really like to create the life
1:03
that you want and today's special guest
1:06
is Kat Willeford she is a pioneer in the
1:10
coaching industry she is a certified
1:14
coach and she's actually one of the very
1:16
first certified coaches in the United
1:18
States and she believes in the power
1:20
saying yes to the opportunity and
1:22
stretching that into whatever yes calls
1:25
forth I'm very excited to welcome Kat
1:28
Willeford to the show today as we tackle
1:30
this question and so much more hello Kat
1:35
how are you I'm great Karen it is so
1:38
good to be here with you thank you and
1:40
how much do I love the and so much more
1:45
great well you know because we end up
1:48
talking about a topic and then we go off
1:51
on a tangent and I don't like being
1:53
stuck into something that we can't get
1:55
out of so the Anmore is probably the
1:57
most important part of the show I would
1:59
I would agree so I like to start the
2:02
show with and this particular show is
2:04
what is a super boomer because it's the
2:07
super boomer lifestyle show yes now my
2:10
definition of a super boomer is that we
2:12
are not
2:13
find by age we are defined by how we
2:15
show up in life cat how would you define
2:18
a super boomer I love that I love the
2:22
way you're holding this and presenting
2:24
it I guess what I might add or spin
2:28
around in my words would be something
2:30
like a super boomer is someone who is up
2:34
to something
2:35
who is up to something for themselves
2:38
for the world and for progress whatever
2:43
that might mean to an individual
2:45
certainly yet I hold it as big like
2:50
progress as humanity progress as in
2:54
consciousness because if you think about
2:57
super I mean the super boomers we came
2:59
well many came in age in the 60s me in
3:02
the 70s but you know there was that
3:03
whole time that whole era where walls
3:06
were clattering to the floor of boxes
3:08
you know it's the boxes being broken
3:11
free and I believe that's what we're
3:12
doing now we built some other boxes up
3:14
around us and then we said it's true
3:16
that we definitely did we definitely did
3:20
and that's kind of why I like the topic
3:23
that we're covering today that we really
3:25
can create the life that we want right
3:27
yes absolutely
3:29
okay and so we're gonna talk about how
3:32
that actually works and how we can
3:34
create the life of one but I know that
3:36
you are an authenticity coach and you
3:37
talk about being authentic and you know
3:39
that's a favorite word of mine it's a
3:41
favorite way that I like to show up we
3:43
were talking about how I show up on the
3:45
show sometimes sometimes my head
3:47
disappears into the wall sometimes I
3:49
stumble all over my words but the but
3:51
the thought here is really is that I
3:53
just show up as I really am let's talk
3:55
about authenticity what does that mean
3:57
in our world today so I think you hit
4:00
the nail on the head we show up as we
4:02
are right now that doesn't mean we can't
4:05
I wear lipstick I wear makeup you know
4:09
it's not that one yet actually you know
4:11
we can't it's not that we don't enhance
4:13
maybe what we've got but we ain't to me
4:15
authenticity is about the core of us are
4:18
we being true to our core personal
4:21
values are we in alignment with really
4:25
who we are because what
4:26
as if we're not there we're playing the
4:29
imposter syndrome game and it we will
4:32
always be chill be like a dog chasing
4:34
our tail we will not be going forward so
4:38
it's for me authenticity is the way we
4:42
actually can move forward we it's it's
4:44
we stop running in circles around
4:46
ourselves we stop chasing that tail I
4:48
love that I love that
4:50
so can we create the life we want and
4:54
when we say that is this like we have a
4:57
task list do we you know decide that
5:00
we're gonna go do this first and then
5:02
this first what does that mean when we
5:04
say we can create the life that we want
5:06
you know I I think this is really why
5:09
people come to coaching this is what I
5:11
work with people every day around this
5:13
conversation and here's what I've come
5:16
to know in 25 years of coaching people
5:18
is that the answer is yes of course we
5:21
can what happens for people and why they
5:24
don't feel like they are living it
5:26
they're not current with themselves so
5:30
part of the pro we used to talk about
5:32
don't don't lean your ladder against the
5:34
wrong wall and climb now and it's the
5:37
same thing here in our personal journey
5:39
we have to stay fresh and current with
5:42
ourselves so and not let old goals
5:46
penetrate our brain and try and keep us
5:48
where we are like I'm I'm 54 my goals
5:52
are different than when I was 34 if I
5:53
were still carting those around I would
5:55
be one miserable person and I was gonna
5:57
say and thank goodness right I think
5:59
it's Robbie I don't want to be 34 again
6:01
honestly right now but you know I'm just
6:04
it's no it's we have to be current with
6:07
where we are and that to me is step
6:09
number one in order to develop living
6:13
into the life you want so true so tip
6:15
number one is get current with yourself
6:17
right and Curtis get get current with
6:19
yourself and and take you know it's the
6:21
time to declutter your mind in your soul
6:23
each day one of the things that I do is
6:25
every morning I meditate yes and I do
6:29
miracle morning that's one of the things
6:31
that I do I get very clear I get very
6:32
current about Who I am and what I'm
6:34
doing what are some other ways that we
6:37
might get current with
6:39
SILS that's great yeah so I don't know
6:45
if you can see in the back well maybe a
6:46
little bit on the background there I
6:47
have a vision board I see it I just made
6:51
you on big screen we can see it so I
6:54
have a vision board it's kind of a mess
6:56
right now and I'm gonna but I love doing
6:57
it on the bulletin board
6:59
thank you guys I've got pushpins I can
7:01
move things around I can you know
7:03
sometimes people are afraid to glue
7:05
things down on paper because like oh I
7:08
might change my mind we can Mike you're
7:10
my more kind of with yourself so I also
7:14
believe in keeping it sparse like let's
7:17
keep it simple you know and pick one
7:21
thing at a time to focus on it doesn't
7:23
mean the other aspects of your life
7:25
don't matter but we want to keep things
7:28
really simple and I spend a lot of time
7:31
coaching people of kind of decluttering
7:33
if you will the space of what they want
7:36
decluttering the old thinking and old
7:39
belief patterns so we need to declutter
7:42
our minds we need to declutter our
7:46
thinking we need to declutter our bodies
7:49
I love that soul so tip number two is
7:53
keep it simple keep it simple keep it
7:57
simple when you are looking to change
7:59
things you know don't try and change
8:02
everything at once and how many of us do
8:05
that I mean I used to do it I was like
8:07
oh well if one thing needs to change in
8:10
my life well so does this so this is it
8:12
and all of a sudden like I can't do
8:15
anything I get it
8:19
and then we then were paralyzed right
8:21
and then we're actually paralyzed we
8:23
can't move off the dime and then that's
8:25
a challenge for a lot of us right
8:27
absolutely and what keeps us there are
8:30
those masks that we wear right
8:32
so my chief operating officer of control
8:35
thinks I can take on more and more and
8:38
more and more and just keep controlling
8:40
it all and making it all happen any way
8:43
she can
8:44
she's really good at it but the cost is
8:47
too significant so that's part of
8:49
keeping it simple we don't want to
8:50
exhaust ourselves so the right
8:53
oi like that we want to be living and
8:56
more than and this is just a side tip to
8:59
this more than what you want it to look
9:03
like let's back it up a step what do you
9:08
want it to feel like I
9:10
and that because we use all of our
9:12
senses right that's I want to feel it
9:15
I'd like to ask a question those of you
9:17
who are on live or if you're on replay
9:18
how many of you when you experience
9:21
something don't just experience the
9:23
words and and what's in your head but
9:25
you feel in your body make a comment
9:27
down there just let us know because I
9:29
know personally we're talking about this
9:31
before the show I feel everything in my
9:33
body everything good and bad that's
9:36
right what do we do when we do that yeah
9:38
so if we're checking in you know and we
9:41
can feel it in our body but we do we
9:43
want to find out what is the experience
9:45
that I really want to be having here
9:47
because sometimes in working with
9:50
clients what they have discovered and
9:52
what I have discovered in my own life is
9:53
we think it's the external things that
9:56
we want to be different but there's that
9:59
saying wherever you go there you are yes
10:01
so there's the what is the internal
10:05
experience you want to be having that's
10:08
different than what you're having now
10:10
and about three years ago I determined I
10:13
was really tired of running and chasing
10:16
and striving I used to get off on that I
10:21
was like oh yeah let's let that go way
10:22
out there and I'm gonna run really fast
10:25
and I had this epiphany moment when I
10:27
was literally running on the beach I was
10:29
like okay I'm gonna run from the jetty
10:30
to the pier I got to the pier in like
10:32
that was a far enough I can go further
10:34
and I ran like 20 more yards went can't
10:38
you just obliterated the fact that that
10:41
was your goal and you made it right yeah
10:44
my constant push push push
10:46
so I started invoking every morning and
10:49
I'm a big fan of setting our intention
10:52
of what we want to experience every day
10:54
and what kept coming up for me when I
10:58
was doing this was ease hello
11:03
spaciousness yep yep and so I can have
11:07
that in a crazy airport situation I can
11:11
have that here on this show I can have
11:13
that sitting on my couch I can have that
11:17
driving on the freeway when you can you
11:20
can so you talked about masks and I've
11:22
been I've been to one of your events and
11:24
and for those who care to know actually
11:26
cook a cat as my coach I work with cat
11:29
III i love her i highly recommend her
11:32
and one of her things that she talks
11:34
about are the masks that we wear right
11:36
so one of the tips if you were sharing
11:38
is that we have to unmask ourselves how
11:40
do we do that yeah so again it's like
11:44
getting current right so the masks live
11:47
very far in the future to prevent a
11:50
problem mm-hmm they live very far in the
11:53
future we're shooting in the past okay
11:57
protecting us from a similar situation
12:00
so masks protect our vulnerability masks
12:04
protect us a lot of times from feeling
12:07
what is happening in the moment so they
12:10
keep they and they develop because we
12:12
need a little safety it's not bad that
12:15
we have them in fact I think our psyche
12:18
is really brilliant to develop them
12:19
because they get us through something
12:21
right yeah maybe we've got to push
12:23
through something maybe we need to
12:25
really be defended and guarded against a
12:26
certain thing it just becomes a problem
12:29
within their habitual good point very
12:31
good point you know I'm really excited
12:33
for you because just yesterday you
12:35
launched your new live Facebook show and
12:39
it's called the heroines journey and
12:42
it's live on Facebook I'm really really
12:45
I saw the show I really loved it tell us
12:47
a little bit about the show and what
12:48
people are going to glean and what
12:51
they're gonna get out of this and how
12:52
often it is and all that kind of okay
12:54
great we're luck too so I really created
12:57
this based on you know when I'm writing
13:00
my book I realized in looking at the
13:03
experience that I'm chronicling with a I
13:07
had an ovarian diagnosis I chose not to
13:09
go the traditional route and I healed it
13:12
part of my healing journey was I had to
13:15
reclaim Who I am
13:17
I had to reclaim my body's wisdom
13:21
I had to reclaim being in relationship
13:24
with my body and so what it taught me
13:27
was a heroines journey is different than
13:30
the hero's journey and I believe we
13:33
women and men who want to adopt and
13:36
really great in integrate their feminine
13:41
energy this this is a very helpful piece
13:44
for them we have to pay attention inside
13:46
first in orders to start shifting those
13:49
outer layers and so we each have a
13:52
unique journey and that's what I want
13:54
the conversation to be about the unique
13:57
journey that each one of us takes in
13:59
order to heal and grow and then affect
14:02
change in our world well I really
14:04
encourage people to to actually join the
14:06
show it's it's it's every other Tuesday
14:09
right and it's at 4:00 p.m. Pacific time
14:12
I put a up on the screen I also
14:15
put a link in the comments that you can
14:17
click on that will take you over to the
14:21
first show which was yesterday so you
14:23
get a taste of it and I encourage you to
14:25
do that I know the cat you're asking for
14:27
people if they have questions that you
14:30
that you that you want those questions
14:32
so go listen to the show but your place
14:33
would because I know the cat will
14:35
probably incorporate them in a future
14:38
future show right I absolutely will and
14:41
future show you know this one is really
14:42
I was I was doing a lot of philosophy
14:45
and just sharing like the the overall
14:48
umbrella and come from around this so we
14:50
can all be on the same page with it but
14:52
then each show I'm gonna dive into a
14:54
specific thing like you know your
14:57
journey with your body your journey in
15:00
relationships your journey through your
15:02
career your journey in relationship to
15:05
money so it's really a holistic look at
15:08
how we integrate and actually operate in
15:11
our lives so it is a journey you know
15:14
and just like any journey we go on yeah
15:18
we learn something so whether we're
15:21
traveling far afield and right and
15:23
threatened or we're traveling within we
15:26
will learn something and I love the idea
15:28
of a journey and traveling
15:30
and I wanted to kind of incorporate the
15:31
two because you know we all go on on
15:34
inner journeys and outer journeys and in
15:37
the super boomer lifestyle store we have
15:39
some great products and tools that you
15:41
can use when you go on your journey one
15:44
of them is is my favorite because I'm
15:46
such a geek when it comes to technology
15:48
I love this this gift this is awesome I
15:52
can put all my cords I can put all my
15:54
apparatus my selfie stick and all my
15:57
stuff into a little bitty suitcase so
15:59
that I always have it with me and for
16:02
those of you who are wondering you know
16:04
why would you need them well if you ever
16:05
get on the road and your phone ever dies
16:06
and you don't have the cord you're gonna
16:08
know why why you need it so I really
16:12
really encourage you to do that as you
16:14
go on your journey and check it out in
16:16
the super boomer lifestyle store so um I
16:19
want to move on because you have a gift
16:21
for everybody and I do I do
16:24
so I'm putting up the link in the
16:27
comments but let's talk a little bit
16:29
about what this gift gift is I I have I
16:32
have gotten them and they're it's
16:33
amazing gift because it's not just a
16:35
one-time thing it's a continual thing so
16:38
why don't you share a little bit about
16:39
what this gift is sure so I made a set
16:43
of a mini mi ni set of affirmation cards
16:48
that are really built to support you to
16:52
unmask to be a choice in your life and
16:55
in your world and to be vulnerable to
16:59
strengthen that vulnerability muscle to
17:01
strengthen your ability to be honest
17:05
with yourself to be honest with others
17:06
and so these are daily cards you can
17:08
draw them one a day and and I call it
17:11
there there your self-love focus cards
17:14
is really what they are because part of
17:16
unmasking and becoming vulnerable is
17:19
discovering self-love and that's one of
17:23
my passions for women particularly
17:24
because we're really good at loving
17:26
other people we kind of suck when it
17:27
comes to this stuff we put ourselves
17:30
last most of the time would you agree I
17:33
absolutely agree Joby is saying yes
17:36
Joey's saying she used the affirmation
17:38
cards every day Kat they are fantastic
17:41
as do i I find myself pulling the cards
17:44
every so often just if I need some
17:45
guidance just if I need something hold
17:47
on
17:48
and what it does is you know there's
17:50
these came from within me and these are
17:53
aspects that are and within all of us
17:54
and so what it is is you know when we
17:56
are in a contemplative question you know
17:59
when we draw a card it's our inner
18:00
wisdom speaking to us of what we can
18:02
focus on right then and there to keep it
18:05
simple again we like it well it seems
18:08
too much we like we have grown
18:10
habituated to the complexity of modern
18:13
life and the noise of it all and these
18:16
are simple ways to focus in hone in and
18:19
that really is you know part of
18:21
unmasking is we don't have to go it
18:24
alone
18:24
the masks make us go it alone and
18:27
inviting allies into play is so
18:31
important and I think it's so important
18:34
for we boomers to do this
18:35
you know cuz we grew up with that no
18:38
pain no gain do it yourself
18:40
right not this and yeah that's okay
18:43
whatever I'm bored with that already
18:46
right so invite allies be around fun
18:49
people that lift you up and if the
18:52
people aren't lifting you up then just
18:54
stop going to wherever they are amen a a
18:58
to the men thank you very much thank you
19:01
very much you know there's something
19:03
that it's very interesting that people
19:05
may not know about you and that is a
19:08
particular group of people that you have
19:11
coached and supported you want to tell
19:13
us a little bit about this because it
19:15
really is it goes to who you really are
19:17
thank you yeah and this was a while ago
19:21
so every time I think about it and talk
19:23
about it's like I might need to start
19:25
doing this again when I first was
19:30
starting out as a couch I really wanted
19:33
to couch as many different kinds of
19:36
people in different situations and I was
19:38
on a board of directors of the Los
19:41
Angeles women's legislative coalition we
19:44
had a spin-off organization court watch
19:48
and it was about cut we did a great we
19:53
graded judges and how they
19:55
dispensed justice when I came to
19:58
domestic violence because what we found
20:01
was their real I mean the women were
20:04
being brutalized all over again in the
20:06
court system particularly Family Court
20:08
so we stepped in and we had a program
20:12
where I got to coach them well to be
20:17
prepared and in their Center in their
20:20
wholeness as they went to court so that
20:25
they could speak very clearly and
20:27
concisely and not let their emotions
20:29
overtake them because you know if you're
20:32
looking at the abuser and he's using
20:35
your children you might crazy you've
20:38
become like a screaming person like any
20:40
of us would so we worked with them and
20:42
coached them and my joy was to be able
20:45
to coach them to know that they could
20:48
stand on their own with a little help
20:50
and support oh my gosh so it's so
20:55
important and unfortunately we found you
20:58
said this have you did this a while back
21:00
and unfortunately we fast forward now to
21:02
today's time yes nothing's changed well
21:05
some of this sentencing has changed good
21:08
good and we were a part of actually
21:11
affecting legislative policy for two or
21:16
three things that were big like there
21:18
were all of a sudden mandatory because
21:21
what that used to happen and a domestic
21:23
violence calling home or Nia in
21:25
particular you go out of the police
21:29
would go to the location and they just
21:31
kind of you know Wakita of the parties
21:34
around the block and then let him go
21:35
back at it yeah and a lot of times it
21:37
escalated and the woman wound up in the
21:40
hospital or the morgue so what happened
21:44
is mandatory separation off to jail he
21:48
goes or her depending I mean there were
21:50
some cases where the woman was the
21:52
abuser so it was you have to separate
21:55
and we legislated that a female officer
21:57
has to be present well that's actually
22:01
pretty huge when you consider oh yeah
22:04
yeah it is huge so I take back what I
22:06
said thing
22:07
have changed but in this era of me2 and
22:10
and women's rights and everything that's
22:13
going on we need more cat Williford that
22:16
are willing to use their skills and
22:19
their their mindsets and helping these
22:22
individuals get the help that they need
22:25
you know I know that people always ask
22:28
us how do we find out more about our
22:30
guests they can go to your website right
22:32
cat lover come they can also visit your
22:36
Facebook page authenticity advantage
22:38
woman series I've actually been on those
22:41
calls these are really great guys and
22:43
I'll show you I'll add it to my super
22:45
boomer moment I'll hold on to that and
22:47
then finally on Twitter go tweet cat cuz
22:51
I bet if you tweet cat she's gonna tweet
22:53
you back I would
22:54
I bet are there any last-minute thoughts
22:59
that you would like to share with our
23:00
audience the show I mean this show is
23:02
just like spin right by anything you'd
23:04
like to share with our audience that we
23:06
haven't touched upon at least two gifts
23:08
and thoughts for people to maybe reach
23:10
out to you yeah you don't reach out to
23:15
me reach out I guess this is what I want
23:17
to say and here's what I love about what
23:19
you're mentioning about the me2 movement
23:20
and I believe that this is a time when
23:26
old ways and systems must crumble
23:29
including those inside of us so if you
23:33
feel like you are crumbling a little
23:36
inside I want you to know you're not
23:37
alone and I want you to know there are a
23:40
lot of a lot of coaches out there and
23:42
that specialize in things like I do and
23:45
I love to support women who want to
23:48
rebuild in an authentic way because what
23:50
is crumbling away is the inauthenticity
23:53
are the masks are the right pods and we
23:57
see it globally and we see it the macro
24:01
and we see it the micro and we again
24:03
variants it
24:05
it's exciting time if this is an
24:07
exciting time it's a challenging time
24:09
it's for some it's a scary time but this
24:12
is exciting time we are at the forefront
24:14
as super boomers as women as coaches as
24:17
people that are in this
24:20
world we are going to make a difference
24:22
this is I'm passionate about this we we
24:24
women are going to make a difference cat
24:27
thank you so much for joining us today I
24:30
so appreciate you I'm gonna be dropping
24:32
you into the green room as I go into my
24:35
super boomer moment and and we'll go on
24:39
from there again thank you very very
24:41
much
24:44
so guys this is time for the super
24:47
boomer moment and this is where I share
24:49
something that struck a chord for me and
24:51
and with me
24:53
you know I have I have traveled this
24:56
road for quite a while
24:58
I've been live-streaming since the early
25:00
90s I have always been my authentic self
25:03
I just show up this way and whatever
25:05
comes out is what comes out sometimes
25:07
that's a good thing sometimes that's not
25:09
such a good thing and one of the things
25:11
that I really like about what Kat talks
25:13
about is the whole idea of how
25:16
authenticity is showing up in the world
25:18
today and and it in some respects it's
25:21
an overused word I know a lot of people
25:22
say I'm going to be authentic and I'm
25:24
gonna do it that way but it is a feeling
25:26
and it is it is how you internalize it
25:29
is how you show up and I really
25:30
encourage you to touch base with Kat and
25:33
find and get get the cards I just have
25:35
to get the cards but also maybe to have
25:37
a conversation and find out you know how
25:39
you can uncover your own authenticity go
25:43
check out her show the heroines journey
25:44
it's awesome it's a great show you're
25:47
gonna get so much value so much so much
25:50
content and finally go check out the
25:53
super boomer lifestyle store because we
25:55
have some great tools and products that
26:00
will help you on your journey whether
26:01
you are taking the journey inside with
26:03
the books or whether you're taking your
26:05
journey outside as you travel along and
26:08
around the world get some suitcases get
26:10
some things that will help you on on
26:12
your travels we want to thank you for
26:15
checking us out today because I know
26:17
that you have a choice as to where you
26:19
spend your time and you chose to spend
26:20
it with us today I am eternally grateful
26:24
I hope that you join us next week on the
26:26
next episode of the super boomer
26:29
lifestyle show have a great day everyone
#Self-Help & Motivational