Up next in 10
Old habits are hard to break, but with some time and work, you can do it. We will give you some tips and tricks on how to make new habits and share some great resources too! #atomichabits #tinyhabits #oldhabits #newhabits
All interviews are for informational purposes only and are educational in nature.
Any health advice discussed in this show/podcast is not intended to treat disease and should be discussed with your doctor prior to implementing.
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0:00
hello everyone Karen Glasser here and
0:02
welcome to minding your mental health
0:04
I'm here with my son and co-host Rob
0:07
Glasser how you doing Rob I'm like that
0:11
guy I sound like that guy okay let's get
0:14
ready to rumble okay but we're not gonna
0:16
do that so on this show we talk about
0:18
topics that shape mental health today we
0:21
teach the importance of inclusion and
0:23
share why we should be kind so whether
0:25
you're here live or in replay we love
0:26
you make sure you tell us where you are
0:28
tuning in from in the comments below so
0:32
today we are talking about habits what
0:34
are they how we build them all those
0:36
wonderful things and Rob I know you
0:38
pulled a great article called how to
0:40
build good habits and break one bad one
0:43
so why don't you start out with the very
0:46
first one what is it that they tell us
0:48
sure so
0:52
opencolleges.edu.au wrote this article
0:54
as you mentioned
0:56
excuse me
0:58
um and you know obviously beginning of
1:00
the year why not talk about ways to make
1:02
your veterans number one make it about
1:05
your identity so that's an interesting
1:07
one
1:09
um earlier today I was on a session and
1:11
we talked about the difference between
1:12
uh inattention versus resolution and my
1:15
identity says that resolution is not
1:17
really a happy word it's actually a very
1:19
bad word it's like you know you know
1:21
what so intention so make it about your
1:24
identity what kind of person are you
1:26
looking to become what are you looking
1:29
to do and what are you intending to
1:33
um
1:34
create
1:36
um that way a little bit less pressure
1:38
and you don't really have to and again I
1:41
don't really go for the success I go for
1:43
the as long as you do everything you can
1:45
to try to do what you wanted that's the
1:48
goal of intentions so make it about you
1:53
yeah
1:56
what's number two
1:58
number two excuse me
2:01
um create an optimal environment for
2:03
your personality to facilitate said good
2:07
habits
2:09
um this one you know look I was written
2:11
through it and again I'm trying to come
2:13
at it from an opinion base because
2:14
obviously I don't want to just read what
2:16
other people wrote
2:18
um optimal environment is kind of a
2:20
vague term but what I think they mean is
2:23
put yourself in a place that you can get
2:26
the job done if you give yourself
2:29
um I don't know outstanding things that
2:32
probably won't work more than likely
2:35
you're not going to reach what you're
2:38
going so put yourself in an environment
2:41
so to speak as they say
2:43
um where you can actually do the work
2:47
um you know knowing me I one reason why
2:50
I'm switching my words this year is
2:52
because knowing from last year the words
2:55
were different and the words didn't work
2:56
and I put myself in an environment that
2:58
didn't make much sense and I couldn't
3:00
really get the job done because I was
3:03
looking at it backwards now that I'm
3:06
looking at it the correct way
3:09
um
3:10
it's easier to do and it's not so hard
3:13
when you fail a little bit because
3:16
you're still doing it the way that makes
3:19
sense so is there an example for that in
3:23
terms of putting yourself
3:26
but for instance uh one thing that I'm
3:28
looking at for the videos that we're
3:29
doing here plus the other ones I do is
3:31
to do more opinion based chat because
3:33
I'm noticing that people prefer to hear
3:35
it from the heart and to hear my take on
3:38
said topic and I know that from already
3:41
a couple of videos I've done I've gotten
3:43
an actual responses two questions I've
3:45
asked on live video right and I was
3:47
actually shocked and I was going oh
3:49
people actually are listening they're
3:50
not just here watching for the hell of
3:52
it they're actually listening so that's
3:54
an example there you put yourself in a
3:56
way where you actually get the outcome
3:58
you want and lo and behold
4:00
I I did you know and you just want to
4:03
keep that up and that's the Habit you
4:04
want to have it so that's what it so
4:06
that becomes the Habit that you put
4:07
yourself in the new environment and you
4:09
keep doing it and and you get right and
4:12
you might not notice it immediately and
4:13
you might notice immediately it might
4:15
drop off it might come back but the more
4:17
you do it 98 you're going to be getting
4:20
more often right right on your results
4:24
so what's number three on that list all
4:27
right number three consider the
4:28
compounding effect of both good and bad
4:31
bad just like the yin and yang of
4:34
Chinese culture you can't have one
4:36
without the other
4:39
um so I
4:41
I don't even know what that's from
4:43
necessarily I just know I know it
4:45
um so their idea here is you can't
4:48
really do one without having something
4:50
else as well so for instance if you look
4:53
at a negative uh a thing saying oh well
4:56
maybe I didn't make that job or I didn't
4:57
get the job I wanted well it's not so
5:00
negative when you go okay I can move on
5:03
to something maybe greater and better
5:05
right so compounding really defining
5:09
means put them both together so what
5:11
you're going to do is you take what
5:13
would be considered bad mix it with the
5:16
good to use the actual full because you
5:20
want that I don't know what they call it
5:22
in in the yin and yang in the thing but
5:24
the neutral section basically is a mix
5:26
of both and that's really how you
5:30
right not survive but that's how that's
5:33
how you live correctly I guess right by
5:35
by mixing both and it sounds funny right
5:37
but even talk you know talking about
5:39
therapists and stuff you if you bypass
5:42
every negative thing you do you actually
5:45
screw yourself up because you're not
5:48
actually
5:49
keeping in mind
5:51
what didn't work in order to make it
5:54
work right so right and this is all
5:56
coming from James Clear who we're going
5:58
to be talking about his book Atomic
5:59
habits this actually is talking about in
6:03
terms of
6:04
um stacking something that's positive
6:06
was something that you maybe not want to
6:08
do like get on you don't really want to
6:10
be on the treadmill but you can't wait
6:12
to watch that great movie on Netflix and
6:15
so you pair it and you get on it and
6:18
make you combine it right
6:20
some treadmills even have TVs now so
6:23
there you go there you go
6:25
that's weird but sure
6:29
so what's number five
6:32
oh number four sorry what's number four
6:34
let's do four before five shall we okay
6:37
um choose the best solution to whatever
6:39
it is you're trying to figure out now
6:40
this one's kind of the two-fold so
6:44
I'm putting this up here hey Paula
6:46
thanks for commenting Love and Marriage
6:48
go together
6:51
thank you Paul which I don't know why I
6:54
was not a good show but that's where I
6:55
heard the song not TV show
6:58
um okay so pick the best solution to
7:00
said problem or or difficulty
7:03
um and again this kind of goes back to
7:04
my first thing intention versus
7:06
resolution right you
7:08
you don't need to have a problem or a
7:11
solution to have to better something you
7:15
just want to better something for the
7:16
hell of it because it's going to make
7:18
you feel better so I would tweak this a
7:20
little bit too pick the best end goal or
7:24
best idea or intention let's use
7:27
intention because I like intention right
7:29
through whatever it is you're trying to
7:30
figure out so for instance using kind of
7:33
the treadmill same thing let's say I
7:35
used to like love going hiking it's a
7:37
little cold right now but I would still
7:40
love to go back out so an intention
7:42
could be try to walk around the block
7:44
five ten minutes a day
7:47
it's not a hike but it's outside for a
7:51
few minutes right now something we do
7:53
here you know we drive so I'm in the car
7:55
kind of in my safety net when we're
7:57
there but going out in the car for five
7:59
or ten minutes is also towards the goal
8:02
of being out so pick a thing an
8:06
intention an idea if you want to use the
8:08
word idea that's fine that will Aid me
8:11
towards what you want the goal here is
8:13
not to have a goal it's to just kind of
8:16
figure out what what you want to do
8:19
and make you feel better you don't have
8:21
to have an ending puzzle piece you just
8:23
have to kind of
8:25
have an idea where you're going I'm
8:26
curious we have people that are watching
8:29
we have people live on today
8:31
um what do you call them you call them
8:32
resolutions you call them intentions you
8:34
call them goals and then how do you set
8:36
out let us know what you're thinking
8:37
right now all right Rob let's move on to
8:40
number five
8:42
all right
8:43
see what distractions are actually what
8:45
they are look at them for what they
8:47
truly are
8:48
it's a distraction it's kind of like oh
8:51
you look out the window oh look bird you
8:53
know it's like the squirrel joke with uh
8:54
the dog and up and all he sees is
8:56
squirrel and he just think that's all it
8:58
is this is distraction it's really part
9:01
of life is what you're supposed to do
9:03
the the fact that you can can notice all
9:05
this it's actually good it means your
9:07
brain's working it means you're you're
9:08
seeing stuff you're going around but
9:10
take it for what it is take it for a
9:12
word as a definition it's really just
9:14
something that might be there in the
9:17
moment right but it's not necessarily
9:19
going to be there full time
9:21
sounds good to me
9:24
so
9:25
what about number six
9:28
all right so
9:30
I'm not going to read the whole one
9:32
because it's rather long but it's called
9:33
incorporate the laws of behavior change
9:36
right and basically it's categorizing
9:38
them in two spots attractive not so
9:42
attractive the ones that aren't so
9:44
attractive to your well-being
9:47
ones you probably don't want to do right
9:49
the ones that are attractive to your
9:52
well-being
9:53
or the ones you want to do and that's
9:55
really basic you know simplifying it's
9:57
super down they literally have a list
9:58
which you guys can check out but really
10:01
it's just a matter of the things you
10:03
don't want column B the things you do
10:06
want call them a it's like legit you
10:08
know what if you don't take something
10:09
from here and whatever
10:10
that's what number six is it just know
10:14
what they are in a list if you can
10:17
the Bad and the good right the bad The
10:19
Bad and The good you can use both for
10:21
later usage right exactly
10:24
so I know number seven we're going to be
10:25
putting systems ahead of goals so they
10:28
they actually are saying don't talk
10:29
about gold so much let's get those
10:31
systems in place so what is that all
10:33
about right so to me it's a matter of
10:36
doing the work to get to what you're
10:38
doing you can't just wake up one day a
10:40
billionaire as much as we like it you
10:42
have to actually put the steps in the
10:45
system in my mind is the actual work so
10:48
I would replace the word system with
10:49
work and basically they're saying put in
10:51
the work to get to your goal the work
10:54
will change depending on who you are
10:56
what you do but it's the same idea for
10:58
everybody you get up you do the thing
11:00
you get the prize you're happy boom
11:04
right and I but I think that what he's
11:07
really referring to is things like if
11:09
you finally create that habit to keep
11:11
your house clean but and you do it once
11:13
but you have nothing in place to
11:15
remember to go clean your house again
11:17
that's not going to become a habit that
11:19
you're going to do I'm going to put up
11:21
um Krista's to come in here I love the
11:23
word intentions better than resolutions
11:24
or goals I was chatting about this with
11:27
a friend last night and we agreed it was
11:28
has to a better feel to it there's no
11:31
end to strive for next exactly right
11:33
yeah and that's what I was talking about
11:35
with my therapist earlier there's no you
11:37
don't need to have the goal you don't
11:39
need to have the success all you're
11:41
doing is just saying hey what do you
11:42
want to do today and what are you going
11:44
to do if it doesn't get done it's not
11:46
the end of the world you can do it again
11:48
another day right it's more or less what
11:50
can I what resources do I have to use
11:52
what can I take advantage of today to do
11:53
it it and that's your thing that's
11:55
exactly yeah yeah good comment now at
11:59
this point if you don't mind me taking
12:00
uh create unique context for developing
12:02
different habits to me that's a really
12:04
fancy way of saying figure out different
12:07
ways to create new habits you want
12:10
simple as that whether it's a list or a
12:13
journal like you whether it's internal
12:15
dialogue like me or whether it's a
12:17
mixture of both things you make the
12:20
things work in the way you want it's not
12:22
going to be everybody's same thing and
12:24
I'm sure when we get to the books you
12:26
will notice that each of them have their
12:28
own criteria so to speak make your own
12:31
criteria If X Y and Z doesn't work go to
12:34
ABC maybe QRS whatever you want to do
12:37
pick what works and make those habits
12:40
stick so passing it back to you now all
12:44
right so I think originally I was going
12:45
to start with tiny habits which is the
12:48
original habit book that James Clear
12:50
when he did Atomic habits it literally
12:53
came from him reading tiny happens but
12:55
because we're on Atomic habits right now
12:58
and on the whole thing with uh James
13:00
clear and again guys they all basically
13:03
say the same thing it's just in
13:04
different languages so in atomic habits
13:07
which is a phenomenal book
13:09
here's the book it's a great book it's
13:12
not a hard read at all I suggest you go
13:14
check it out take your camera out go
13:17
scan the QR code and you can go check it
13:19
out online don't do it now though
13:21
um so first of all he says that there
13:23
are four laws of behavior change that's
13:27
his basic Foundation
13:30
um don't have an obvious daily cue to
13:32
exercise you're going to forget to do it
13:34
don't have an easy exercise routine
13:36
you're going to perform the easy but the
13:39
you know the familiar like watching TV
13:40
don't find exercise appealing you'll
13:43
resist exercising don't get immediate
13:46
satisfaction you'll lack the motivation
13:48
so he says three things stacking and
13:51
starting now we just talked about this
13:53
and what you were saying in those
13:54
different things you stack a habit that
13:56
means for instance
13:58
um uh going and uh having a trigger for
14:02
that habit so let's say you want to go
14:04
brush your teeth but you want to
14:06
remember always after you brush your
14:08
teeth to take your vitamins so that's
14:10
just a tiny little thing instead of
14:12
saying my entire morning routine I'm
14:13
gonna get up I'm going to wash my face
14:15
I'm gonna brush my teeth I'm gonna eat
14:17
breakfast right have the tiny little
14:19
thing first so for instance read before
14:21
bed each night becomes read one page to
14:24
the very tiniest thing study for class
14:27
but could become just open my notes in
14:30
my book right uh second thing he says is
14:33
syncing and scoring and you did mention
14:34
that already when you
14:36
um connect and synchronize an experience
14:39
that's happy with something that you
14:40
really don't want to do
14:42
there's a chance that you're going to be
14:43
motivated to do it and
14:46
um so those are the two things that I
14:48
think are very very important that we
14:49
want to share on this the second book is
14:52
actually the first one and everything
14:54
came everything came from this book BJ
14:56
fog tiny habits HD there you go yeah
15:00
this guy's pretty bright founder of
15:02
Stanford's behavioral Design Lab oh okay
15:07
that's pretty impressive right that
15:09
doesn't say much what does yeah exactly
15:11
so DJ Fogg um this PhD he tells three
15:16
different parts that he talks about
15:17
first of all shrink Behavior very
15:19
similar to watching versus right if
15:23
you're not gonna if the task is too hard
15:25
you're not going to be motivated to do
15:28
it because you need much higher levels
15:30
of motivation but if the task is easy
15:34
you're going to be motivated because you
15:35
can get it done quickly so the tiniest
15:37
version of a 60-minute meditation
15:40
practice could be one breath meditation
15:43
just start right the tiniest version of
15:46
daily planning routine is writing down
15:48
one to do item rather than I have to do
15:51
10 things very similar to that article
15:54
what you have there number two identify
15:57
the action prompt and he very very
15:58
clearly talks about action prompts
16:01
meaning something that actually happens
16:03
it's a it's a movement again brush your
16:05
teeth take your vitamins it's an action
16:07
rather than it's an external prompt that
16:10
you have a Post-It note sitting on your
16:12
uh desk that says you're supposed to go
16:14
brush your teeth now you have to get up
16:15
you have to walk over and brush your
16:18
teeth does that make sense that how he's
16:20
defining these yeah I mean it seems like
16:23
most of that stuff is common but I guess
16:25
if
16:26
you don't do it regularly enough it
16:28
could be
16:30
harder to do right and then it's no
16:32
longer a habit right if you're not doing
16:33
it regularly it's not a habit anymore
16:35
right exactly exactly finally part three
16:38
he says grow your behavior with some
16:41
shine guess what he means by shine he
16:43
means applaud tell yourself how proud
16:46
you are that you did that action right I
16:49
know you like and I know how much you
16:51
like to be
16:52
um told how good you do I like to be
16:54
told so but give yourself that that
16:57
shine I love that I love the idea of
16:59
shine now the third book
17:03
is The Compound Effect
17:05
and this is by Daryl Hardy now uh Darren
17:10
Hardy rather not Daryl Darren Hardy I
17:12
actually have been to a conference with
17:14
him and again he talks about tiny habits
17:17
when put together become the actual uh
17:22
event that you're trying to do right
17:24
it's the principle of reaping huge
17:26
rewards from a series of small smart
17:29
choices so
17:31
first of all he talks about choice
17:33
we have choices every day right we make
17:36
decisions every day as to what we're
17:37
going to do
17:38
What He suggests you do at the end of
17:40
the day
17:41
is to look at that list of choices that
17:43
you did and if some of them don't
17:46
resonate or not really with what you
17:48
want to do and where you want to go
17:50
then that's not a good choice get rid of
17:53
it cross out any choice that doesn't
17:55
work second thing he says is why power
17:57
and I love this we always talk about why
18:00
do you do things you do it you have a
18:01
strong why I do it because I do what I
18:04
do because I want to make an impact on
18:06
people Rob why do you do what you do why
18:09
do you do your podcast
18:11
um I mean other than being enjoyable
18:13
yeah I want to you know give my two
18:16
cents into
18:18
anything I can you know help with right
18:21
and if you didn't have a why
18:24
you probably would stop doing it you
18:27
probably shouldn't be doing that to
18:28
begin with yeah right so he literally
18:30
goes and says you have wise it could be
18:33
a negative y or it can be a positive Y
18:35
and I love this it doesn't have to be
18:37
Noble it just has to move you on he says
18:40
so either it can be a loved one
18:42
I am doing this to provide a better
18:45
future for my family that's a love it's
18:47
a positive thing the negative hate thing
18:50
I'm going to do this to prove such and
18:52
such is wrong or I'm doing this to
18:55
defeat somebody interesting right so
18:57
you're motivated
18:59
but it's a negative or positive and
19:02
finally he talks about book and routines
19:06
so you want to build your performance
19:07
around world-class routines so he says
19:10
in the morning review and he bookends it
19:13
that's what he means by bookends in the
19:14
morning when you wake up review your
19:16
vision your mission set your top
19:18
priorities for the day your one task you
19:21
have to get done and then at the night
19:22
time
19:23
on the bookend your nighttime reflect on
19:27
the choices you made during the day be
19:28
grateful for the wins that you had
19:32
and curious about how you can improve
19:34
for tomorrow I love these books
19:36
um and what I love about it is is that
19:39
if one doesn't speak to you in your
19:42
language one of the other ones will
19:43
right sure they're all in different
19:46
kinds of ways so I suggest you go check
19:48
out these books read the book cover
19:51
look at the book cover and see if
19:53
there's something at the back of the
19:54
book cover and see it if it speaks to
19:56
you or or if it doesn't
19:59
um do you have any habit books that you
20:01
read Rob or is this really it's it's
20:02
more of the action of the habit for you
20:05
you know I mean I'm the opposite I and
20:07
this is no offense study to them they're
20:09
very good at what they do
20:10
um it's just a matter you know it's you
20:13
you do what you do for the reason you're
20:15
doing it and only you can do to can do
20:18
that I don't mind you know hearing an
20:21
idea or so but to be honest I would you
20:24
know going to a motivational speaker
20:26
even though we talk about them a lot
20:27
like Tony Robbins or one of those as fun
20:29
as they are to kind of hear and how you
20:31
know boasting they are yeah it doesn't
20:34
resonate with me at all as opposed to if
20:38
I just go okay I'm doing this for here
20:40
and this is why that's going to get me
20:42
more said to do it right because it's
20:45
coming out of my mouth versus right
20:48
professional and again these guys are
20:50
professionals there's no harm in what
20:51
they're doing it's just a different
20:53
format of doing it it's one reason why
20:55
you know learning or hearing you know
20:57
like a historical thing is more of an
21:00
interest than
21:02
being taught how to do history because I
21:05
don't exactly I don't care as much how
21:07
you do history I just want to know the
21:09
story and then I can make my own
21:11
judgments from that and it goes with the
21:14
habits too and I think you know
21:16
um all you I'll use the guy from Pokemon
21:18
somebody who you know is autistic on the
21:20
Spectrum who really looking at him as a
21:23
kid probably was a kind of a funky weird
21:26
guy because he was out there playing
21:27
with bugs but yet he created this in
21:29
giant Empire and now he's probably
21:30
laughing at people going haha Look at me
21:32
now but it's the same type of idea it's
21:35
not a matter of why you're doing it or
21:37
what somebody else thinks about it if
21:39
you have your passion to do it and you
21:41
have the habits to do it try it if it
21:43
doesn't pan out all good right what you
21:46
did the effort to do it and that's what
21:48
they had on the back is for it's the
21:50
fact that you took a couple years or
21:51
whatever to do it or not even years just
21:53
a couple weeks to do it and that's for
21:55
me what the Habit is I don't care what
21:57
the final thing is actually going to
21:59
come from but knowing that I you know
22:01
knowing that I am pushing myself to do
22:03
it and that I came up with it right that
22:05
means more
22:06
than the billion dollars that you know
22:09
somebody you know what I mean from
22:10
somebody making so it
22:13
and the reason why we're talking about
22:14
this today obviously it's the new year
22:16
and we all tend to start the new year
22:19
with okay to this year is going to be
22:21
the best year yet and I'm gonna do these
22:24
3 000 things and I'm gonna you know yeah
22:27
it doesn't work it doesn't work that way
22:29
guys
22:30
um it I love the word intentions Rob I
22:33
just think that that is a perfect word
22:35
that we put out our intentions for the
22:37
year I mean we have an intention to do a
22:40
show every single week for minding your
22:42
mental health and to make an impact we
22:44
want to make sure that our listeners our
22:47
followers our Watchers are getting the
22:49
content that they want and also some
22:51
helpful things which leads us into some
22:54
of the resources we want to make sure
22:56
that you know and that is if you are
22:58
suffering right now from anything that's
23:00
mental health related and you need some
23:02
support go check out some of these
23:04
resources
23:06
nimh.nih.gov that's a National Institute
23:08
of Mental Health go out and check Nami
23:11
that is a National Alliance on Mental
23:13
ill this nami.org
23:15
and if you're so inclined if you're so
23:18
inclined pick up a copy of our book and
23:23
this is finding your passion and uh
23:26
because we're at that stage right now
23:28
where I think we need to find our
23:29
passion right we we need to find our
23:31
passion uh it's the beginning of the
23:33
year and if you don't know how to find
23:34
your passion go to minding your mental
23:36
health.com and check it out
23:41
all right
23:43
last but not least this is the 988
23:46
number so if right now you're struggling
23:49
and you need some help dial that number
23:51
it will get you to the right place it
23:53
will take you wherever you need to go
23:55
again guys we are here to support you uh
23:58
we ourselves suffer from what we suffer
24:00
from and we we want to make sure that
24:03
this is a safe place so finally any last
24:07
minute thoughts Rob
24:09
sometimes yes because actually I do on
24:11
my computer screen I went on canva I put
24:14
in some Pokemon pictures and I have an
24:16
intentions thing so every time I get on
24:18
my computer I see the five things for
24:20
the year I love it they're my intentions
24:22
and why because that's the best way to
24:25
do it I know I'm more I'm always going
24:26
to be in here I'm always going to be on
24:28
the computer for a few minutes
24:30
that's what I did so I'm actually going
24:31
to do that because I want to bring that
24:32
up and you can go on a site like Canada
24:34
at a free site like that and you can
24:36
make your own little you know doohickey
24:38
thing and I love it because I don't have
24:40
to worry about putting it somewhere it's
24:42
in my computer it's a screensaver right
24:45
it's literally it's my background it's
24:46
my background and I got to put my little
24:48
characters on I love it I love it too
24:51
and I did that too I did a vision board
24:52
so canva 2 you can go into canva and put
24:55
the things on of things that I'm I'm
24:57
hoping that I've intentioned to do like
24:59
I want to walk and I want to drink water
25:01
and things like that so I do the same
25:02
thing I love that guys let us know in
25:04
the chat whether you're here live or
25:06
replay what are you doing to keep
25:08
yourselves moving forward
25:11
all right sounds cool so go out give
25:15
somebody an awesome day and we'll see
25:18
you next week on mining and mental
25:20
health goodbye everyone
#Health
#Mental Health
#Self-Help & Motivational